


There were never butterflies - Just fire

by RaineEm



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Chicago, Daniel's Henry's biological father but he left befor he was born, Emma and Elsa are partners, Emma is a paramedic, F/F, Fire House, Getting attached, Henry's Regina's Biological son, Hospital, Love/Hate, Regina is a doctor, Robin is Regina's late husband, Trauma surgeon, added characters, alternative universe, ambulance, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 13:21:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 53,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15413838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaineEm/pseuds/RaineEm
Summary: "She's fire and ice. You'll fear the cold and crave the burn."In this Swanqueen AU Regina Mills is a doctor, one of the best emergency trauma surgeon at the city, while Emma Swan is working as a paramedic at a Fire House.You don't have to watch Once  Upon A Time to understand this story.





	1. Chapter 1

My fingers fly across the keyboard, making their own clacking sounds, while I write my report. Elsa looks up at me when I frustratedly push the keyboard away. I hate paperwork so freaking much. 

"So... you really think moving in with Booth is a good idea?"-Elsa wonders, drawing my attention to her.

"August seems nice, and I need a place to crash at, at least until I find something I can pay in this God damn district."-I explained. I took a big breath and continued filling out my report in silence. Is it really a good idea? I barely know the guy.-"I can't see anyone else offering me a place to stay at anyway."-I added after a few minutes of thinking, trying to convince myself it's for the best.

I've been working side by side with Elsa for a year now and we both got moved from our hospital ambulance station to Fire Department 49, Ambulance 03 a month ago. Since my old place is an hour from here, I had to find a new one. August Booth is a firefighter, leading Rescue Squad for years. He seems to be a cool guy, who needs a roommate apparently, so I'm staying with him for at least a few months, until I can afford my own place.

"You will regret it."-Ruby appears from nowhere, hopping on my desk in her dirty, uniform which smells like smoke and dust.

"Okay Lucas."-I laugh nervously.-"First, get off my desk Lady!"-I command, and push the brunette off of my desk with one hand.-"Second. What do you know what I don't?"-I ask, and she flashes an evil smile, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Handsome, beautiful blue eyes, cute little dimples, good looking, masculine. Single."-she describes him quickly, and seeing the confusion on my face, she adds.-"He's a lady's man."

"So what?"-I lay back in my chair, and smile at her widely, waiting for the answer.

"You won't sleep a lot Swan. He is taking a different girl out each and every night."-she says, and Elsa and I both chuckle.

"Um...thanks for the help Lucas, I think I'll be fine."-I shrugged and turned back to my desk.

The alarm goes of in the minute I start to type again. Typical. I listen for the speaker for a few second until I hear our call.

"Car accident, N State street Bridge, Ambulance 03, Engine 63, truck 07."-we hear the rough voice in the speaker, and Elsa and I both run towards the garage.

"Have fun blondies."-Ruby yells after us and we both shake our heads. Being a paramedic is no fun.

"How can someone so pretty be so annoying at the same time?"-I ask, doing my seatbelt, when we both got into the car.

"Someone has a crush on Lucas?"-Elsa chuckled but I don't think she meant that question.

"I just said she's annoying. Do you even hear what I say Els?"-I ask, looking at my friend in disbelief.

"Drive Swan."-she commands.-"And she's your type."-she adds.

"She's way out of my type."-I respond, and step on the gas before the rescue squad could leave.

"Come one! Big deer eyes, long dark hair, absolutely amazing body..."-she says in a seductive tone.

"She is pushy, clingy, and I could get her in a minute. She's basically offering herself anytime she talks to me."-I state, concentrating on the road, while Elsa turned on the sirens. Hearing our own siren always makes my heard beat faster. As I said, our job is no fun.

"So your real problem with her is, that she likes you?"-she questioned.

Thankfully the radio interrupts our conversation, so I don't have to answer her question.

"Ambulance 03 where are you?"-we hear Liam's voice.

"Chill Liam, three minutes and we are there. Emma couldn't push the gas pedal deeper in this old rig."-Elsa replies. I smile at her, and I step on it.

"Never underestimate my car."-I reply, petting the wheel gently.

We get to the place of the accident in a few minutes, I park the car and we rush out to the red car with our medical begs, while Booth and his squad get out of the truck too.

I try to open the driver's door but it's stuck.

"My daughter. Magen."-the red haired woman says, on the edge of crying from pain and fear.-"Is she okay?"-she asks, trying to look at her daughter but she can't really move her head.

"I'll check on her ma'am."-I reply, and rush to the other side of the car immediately.

"We will need one more ambulance."-I say holding he radio to my lips, then trying to open the back door as well but of course it's stuck. 

"Honey. Magen. Are you hurt?"-I ask and she nods her head.

"Can you tell me where are you hurt sweetheart?"-I ask while the squad force the drivers's door open.

Her tiny shaky hand point at her stomach.

"Is it your chest or your stomach Magen?"-I ask, and August helps the mother out of the car, then Elsa climbs onto the driver's seat and turnes to Magen too.

"My chest."-she whispers as loud as she can.

"Magen, could you turn your head towards me please?"-I ask and she slowly turns her head. There's blood dripping from her hair from the left side of her head.

„Woah. Look at the jugular."-Elsa says, pointing at her neck.

„Beck's triad."-we say in union.

Graham, the captain opens her door, and I take her tiny body into my arms, and carry her right into the ambulance car.

A minute later we are rushing to the closest hospital.

"Time!"-I hear Elsa from the back of the car.

"Less that two minutes."-I report, and step on the gas pedal.

"Fuck it."-she yell, as I hear the monitors beeping sound fasten up.

"What's going on there Arendelle?"-I yell.

"Step on it Swan."-she yells back, and I do my best to get to the hospital in a minute. 

I park the car at emergency, and help Elsa get her out of the car.

"What do we have?"-Dr. Regina Mills asks, rushing to our side concentrating to the action but as soon as she sees me, she has this look on her face which gets me anxious every time I see her.

"It's Beck's triad."-Elsa says, and lets the nurses to take her in.

"And you brought her in like this? Removing some liquid gives you a hard time or what? Man up and do something next time, you are paramedics, not taxi drivers."-she says, directly looking at me.

"Stop yelling at my partner, go in and do something then."-Elsa protests, stepping in front of me.

Regina angrily turns around and runs into the building. Elsa looks at me disgusted by the woman's attitude and I shrug to let her know I have no idea what her problem is.

Usually we just get the papers and leave but this time Elsa and I both felt like we have to wait the news about the little girl so we stayed at the hospital.

We talk to the nurses, and after a bit of time passed I can sense a cold glare on my back so I turn around immediately. Regina Mills  walks towards us, locking eyes with me. I take my time and look over her body. She always looks and smells amazing, I have no idea how does she has time for herself after her 12 hour shift at emergency.

"What a surprise. Swan and Arendelle. What are you two still doing here?"-Regina asks in an annoyed tone, placing some papers on the nurse's desk.-"Aren't you supposed to head back to Fire Department right away you finished here?"-she keeps going.

"Shift's over. We waited for the news about Magen."-I say coldly.

"Who's Magen dear?"-Regina sasses, and flashes one of her sparkling smiles. 

"Little girl, car crush, Beck's triad?"-I try to remind her sarcastically.

"Oh! Magen who you almost let die in that stupid rig of yours. You seriously think I'd let a little girl die under my supervision?"-she asks. Gosh I hate this woman. Why does she always have to be so humiliating? 

"There are times when you can't do shit to save someone Dr Mills."-I say calmly this time.

"Well you may not, Miss Swan, but.."-she continues with her annoying superiority.

"Look, cut the crap and tell us she's fine so we can leave."-I hiss angrily, and Elsa crosses her arms too impatiently and not wanting to take place in Regina's stupid circles.

"She's excellent. Good vitals, her mother is with her, she will be home in a few days."-she states, glaring at me like I just killed her favorite pet when I shut her off.

"Awesome. Wasn't that hard, was it?"-I asked sarcastically, and turned my beck on her looking at the nurses.-"Bye ladies, see you next time."-I say, and I could feel Regina's angry glare on my back again. She truly hates to be disrespected but I could strangle her for being so uptight and bitchy towards us. She hated me from the very beginning I started working at this hospital. She probably has a problem with gay people because she clearly dislikes me for some god damn reason, but I've never seem to find a realistic one, so I gave up trying and went into her stupid games. It became entertaining to annoy her, so I kept playing her way, kept getting better.

"Bye Emma."-the nurses say in union and I chuckle, smiling at Elsa.

Elsa gives a weak smile to Regina.

"It's always a pleasure to work with you."-she says to the brunette, who just rolls her eyes at us.

"Bye Dr Mills."-I yell after her, when she walks away without saying a word. There's just the sound left of her shoes clacking on the stone of the corridor.

"Regina is a special kind..."-I breath out slowly, as we both get into the ambulance car.

"That's for sure. But she's the best surgeon at emergency ward."-Elsa adds.

"Whatever."-I sigh, and start the car.

I have a long night packing into August's place so I have to save energy for more important things than talking about how great Dr Regina Mills slash icequeen is. 

Booth drove me to my old apartment and helped me pack into my new room. Our apartment is top floor, full of windows, which just increases the heat of early summer but I don't mind. As long as I don't have to sleep at the Fire House it's fine.

 

I put the boxes into my room and jump on my bed. August is watching me from the door and smiles.

"I'm tired."-I admit, and he nods understandingly.

"See you in the morning Swan. I'm glad you're here."-he says, and closes the door behind him.

I know that this place is not my dream apartment, but I find it comfortable for now so I'll stick here as long as it's needed. 

I opened one of my huge windows, and sat on my bed for a while, listening to the noises of the city. Sirens, cars, people, wind... Most people hate these things. I love it. It comforts me in a way nothing can. Knowing that there are people out there, always made me feel less lonely.

I'm not sure how long will I stay here. I'm unable to stick somewhere for a long time. It's just coded into me. I hate collecting useless stuff and I hate staying in a relationship for too long. That's me. Emma Swan.


	2. Chapter 2

I walked to the huge kitchen after my alarm went off for the first time in my new apartment. I have never been much of a chef, although when the stars are aligned just right I have been known to nail it in the kitchen. 

The kitchen has dark brown cabinets. And we have a huge kitchen island at the middle with bar chairs.  To the right, there are tons of dirty dishes in the sink just begging to be washed. The kitchen itself is actually a part of one big room which runs right into the living room. The living room is surprisingly clean, we have a big gray sofa in the middle, and a plasma TV connected with August's playstation. There's even some plants in the corner of the room, next to a treadmill.

After looking around carefully I ended up grabbing the milk and the cereal. I'm so glad Booth's eating habits are similar to mine because I haven't bought anything to eat for myself yet. 

After breakfast I decided to leave to work early, I still have to finish my reports anyway, and Elsa is such a nerd, I'll find here there already.

Shift started at 6 am, it's been four hours and we didn't get called out.

"So Emma, do you have plans for the weekend?"-Ruby asked, playing with the end of her dark hair.

"We will probably go out with Booth and Elsa, to the bar after this shift. And tomorrow I will most likely to end up watching TV and drinking cheap wine."-I smiled at Booth who winked at me, and I watched Ruby as she bit her lips.

"Playing assassins creed, ordering italian, and we will probably finish our night in a stipt club."-Booth added and I chuckled. That idiot.

"Why?"-I wondered.

"Nothing, just curiosity."-she smiled and grabbed an orange, leaving the kitchen in hurry.

"Well, curiosity fulfilled then."-I smiled when she left and Booth burst out of laughing.

"Come on, ask her out already."-said Graham shaking his head, laughing as well.-"Give her some grace."-he added.

"Don't be such an ass to the poor girl. She's totally into you."-Elsa agreed.

"I have an amazing idea! Why don't you guys ask her out?"-I offered which made them all chuckle.

Graham locked eyes with Elsa for a minute before they both looked away.

"Graham?"-I mounted, turning my head towards her so the boys wouldn't see.-"Really?"-I laughed when she shook her head.

"Shut up Swan."-she hissed.

"Construction Accident, Harrison Street, Engine 63, truck 07, truck 19, ambulance 03"-we heard the speaker and all of us rushed to the garage.

Ruby opened the gates so we could pass, before she hopped into truck 19. I nod my head thanks but she ignored it so I turned on the sirens, and stepped on the gas pedal. 

"See what you've done?"-Elsa questioned, while doing her seatbelt.

"See how much I care?"-I raised my eyebrows, and concentrated on the road. 

I have no idea why does Elsa even care about Ruby that much, but it started to nug me. Am I a bad person for not taking advantage of the poor girl? Of course I'd enjoy her attention, I already do. But I don't want to get involved with any of my coworkers, so like it or not, I'm not asking her out.

When we got to the constructional field, some of the workers ran to us to show where's the injured man.

"What happened?"-Graham inquiered, and looked around searching for the source of the disaster around us. 

"This whole shit just broke down somehow and now there's a man under the steal pillar."-the construction leader answered and led us to the man.

I kneeled down next to him, and Elsa did the same on the other side. His face was covered with dust and sweat, his legs were stuck under the huge pillar from knee and I could see tons of blood next to him.

"Am I in heaven? You are so beautiful."-the old men gasped for air, reaching weakly to my face but I gently pulled away and smiled at him.

"No, and you won't be anytime soon if it's up to us."-Elsa assured him, followed by a weak smile.

"What do we do?"-Elsa asked August.

"We can use one of the lifters, to remove the pillar."-he replied, and Graham nod his head, and commanded the others to bring the tools.

"Could you clear the road for us Liam? We need a green wave."-I asked in the radio.

"No problem. I'll inform the hospital to wait you there."-he replied.

"I'll prepare the oxygen in the car."-Elsa said, leaving us.

I put him immediately on oxygen, and tried to lower the amount of external bleeding as much as I could.

"Constructional accident, possible crush syndrome, gave four of morphine, heart rate 130, his BP is 110/palp, 2 liters of saline."-I said to the doctor, and left them go in.

 I removed my bloody gloves, and close the ambulance car's door.

 

"I'll get the papers."-Elsa said, and I nod.

"Well, well, well."-I heard a too familiar voice when I was left alone and my mouth dried immediately.-"I'm surprised how professional you can sound sometimes."-she said.

This time she didn't wear her laboratory coat, but a white shirt tucked into her black pencil skirt. She must just arrived to work.  

 

"Hello Regina."-I said, locking my ice blue eyes with her dark brown ones.-"Was that a compliment?"-I chuckled.-"You know what, don't answer that,  I'll take it as a compliment."

"Dr Mills to you dear. And no I didn't mean it as a compliment."-she nagged, walking closer to emergency entrance, swinging her hips.

"Sure, whatever you say Your Majesty."-I said sarcastically. She shook her head and took a few steps to walk in.-"Hey! How's Magen from yesterday?"-I asked and she smiled for a second then her smile faded and raised her chin like she usually does when it's about her patients.

"She's in good hands."-she assured.-"She's fine."

"I'm glad."-I noted, and opened the driver's door on my truck.

"Not any spicy comments dear?"-she asked, probably hoping for a longer bickering.

"I'm quite busy Dr. Mills, maybe next time."-I replied, with a huge smile of victory, and she rolled her eyes, then turned to leave.

"Best way to defeat the queen is to ignore her annoying comments."-I said to Elsa, who got into the car a few minutes later.

"Oh. You met her again?"-she raised an eyebrow.

"She came to me."-I shrugged.

"You are so into her."-Elsa laughed. 

"I'm not into 'Miss call me Dr Mills'."-I said not believing her words.-"The only emotion I have towards her is pure hate."-I said confidently.

"You don't mean that. Tell me you're not attracted to her. Hell, I'm attracted to her."-she laughed.

"She's the last person I could be attracted to. Now, let's get back."-I assured, pulling out from the emergency lot.

The day ended up pretty calm after our one and only call, so we just hang out in the common room with the others, and watched tv.  
I don't know why exactly but I kept thinking about Regina. I thought I finished wondering about why she hates me so much a year ago, but looks like I'm still stuck with the question. I wish she'd just tell me in the face, and cut the crap.

"What's up with you today? You seem a bit off."-Booth noted, when I get into the changing room after our shift ended. 

"I'm just a bit tired I guess."-I shrugged.

"Seriously Swan you can talk to me."-he said, leaning his back on the lockers.

"I'm okay."-I assured.-"I just need a drink. It was a long week for me."

"Or, we could head straight to the stript club."-he offered with a cocky grin which made me chuckle.

Ruby appeared at the door, with a disappointed look on her face. I'm sure she heard August joke around. I've never been in stript club and I don't really plan on going anytime soon. It's just a joke which started as soon as Booth figured out I'm lesbian. 

"Um.. Rubes. Are you coming to the bar tonight?"-I asked her softly, and August smiled at her too. 

"Sure."-she shrugged, and placed her pink sport beg into her locker, then shot it's door.-"See you there."-she said, leaving us confused.

"Period?"-August asked, looking at me.

"Ugh okay you moron. Rule number one. Do not ever say that to a woman."-I said, and punched his arm.

We went home to take a shower and  to change. I put on my favorite black skinny jeans and an ACDC t-shirt, before we headed back to our favorite bar not far from our Fire House. It was a tiny bar in the middle of nowhere but it was chill and we got free drinks every once in a while.

Ruby leaned on the bar when we arrived, her long brown hair lying over her back. She wasn't drunk yet but she liked to pretend that she was. The bartender was there to take her order, eyes dropping only for a moment to her low-cut neckline. She always drew attention to herself. She was stunning today as always.

"There she is!"-Booth greeted her, placing a kiss on her bare shoulder.

"What happened? Stript club closed?"-she asked frustratedly looking away from me.

"That's just a joke Rubes."-I informed her, smiling at how big of a child she can be.

"What do you drink?"-August asked, and I muttered whiskey in response, he nodded and went to ask for our drinks.

"Soo.."-I gasped when we were left alone.-"What do you think about Graham and Elsa?"-I asked Ruby, taking her attention from our 'problem'.

"Not happening. Graham's back with his ex."-she replied coldly.

"His ex, who is?"-I asked because I barely know any of them.

"Lisa. Lisa Rees. She's a doctor in training."-she said.

"Uhm. I bet he didn't tell Elsa about her."-I presumed.

"I don't think so either."-she replied, not looking into my eyes at all.-"I think I'm going home. It was a long day and I had enough."-she said, finished her drink and stood up to leave. 

"Are you sure? I mean... we just arrived."-I asked trying to make her stay.

"Um, and I'm just leaving."-she huffed and turned to leave.

"Rubes?"-I call after her.-"You are stunning tonight."-I smiled. What am I even doing? She stopped and turned her head to look at me.

"Save it for the strippers."-she said coldly, and left. 

The bartender placed my drink in front of me, and Booth sat on Ruby's chair.

"She really hates me right now."-I said, looking after her.

"She'll get over you in no time. No offense. It's just her. When she started to work here, she was after me too, for months. Then someone else came and suddenly I remain forgotten."-August assured.-"But my personal opinion is. You are crazy for letting her go."

"Thanks Booth, that helps a lot."-I groaned.

A strong, sour taste slipped into my mouth as I drank my whiskey, stealing away reality in favor of fantasy. I felt like in the past few weeks whiskey started becoming my only "cure" and I can't seem to figure out of the reason why. I became more closed up then before, and bored with everything. Normally, I'd say I have a midlife crisis, but I'm only 28 for God's sake.

"Strip club?"-Augusts tried one more time seeing my need for distraction.

"NO."-I yelled in disbelief and laughed.

"Then give us two more round."-he ordered the bartender, and winked at me.-"Let's get wasted."-he screamed and Elsa and Graham walked in side by side cheering for the idea as well.

A few hours and 6 whiskeys later, I found my friends begging for me to go and sing some stupid karaoke songs on the tiny stage of the bar. I know I will regret it tomorrow because there's no way they won't record this failure but hell I don't care this time.

"Fine. But first, give me my booze."-I ordered the bartender who smiled at me and gave me my 7th drink. This won't be so much fun tomorrow that's for sure.


	3. Chapter 3

Weeks have passed and we were quickly running into July. I finally felt comfortable when I stepped into the Fire House. There are always good and bad days. Some days, you lose your mind because you couldn't save someone, and they die between your hands, or even before you get there. But some days, you get to see things that no one else ever gets to see. A mother, grateful you dragged her children to safety, a grown man, crying on your shoulder for saving his wife. This place slowly changed me. It sucked me in and poured love, and warmness into my empty heart, because finally, after 28 years of being an orphan, I do have a family. A family that will always stand by me.  I love each and every member of it. Ruby finally talks to me again, I met the other, older firefighters and most of their families through the time that passed, we played, worked, cried and laughed together. Booth and I quickly became best friends, the kind that scoops you up from the floor after a breakup, an the kind that quits all their plans just to comfort you when you have a bad day. I love all the good and all the bad days with these guys. They healed me.

"Are you coming to the grill party Em?"-Graham inquired, when I was about to leave the locker room after shift. He still smelled like smoke, and his face and hair was sooty from the last fire they were called out to.

"Sure, I wouldn't miss it, we will arrive around 6 with August."-I informed him.-"Are you bringing Lisa?"-I question him, raising an eyebrow.

"I invited her. She said she can't make it."-he sighed disappointedly.-"She has to cover for some doctor at emergency. You know how it goes when you're a resident, you have to fill in for everyone."-he explained. 

"Oh. Too bad. It would be nice to meet the misterios girlfriend already."-I smiled weakly while thinking the opposite. As much as I wish him to be happy, I can see how Elsa looks at him, and I wish he would notice it as well already.

"Yeah... Well, there's always next time. Elsa's coming right?"-he asked, avoiding eye contact for a second.

"Sure, she's the one who has to keep me sober."-I grinned.-"See you later Captain."-I added, and left him alone in the locker room.

Two hours later we get out of Booth's fancy audi, and arrived to the park where we keep the grill party. Lampions were hung out between the trees, although it was still sunny and bright. The soft wind was filled with the smell of barbecue meat, which made my empty stomach lift up and down. Smooth blouse was playing at the background, and screaming and laughing of the  firefighter's kids vivified the space on the nearby soccer field. The adults were sitting at the huge wooden park tables, and talked with old friends. This grill party is a huge tradition in the Fire House's life. Old and new firefighter's and their families reunited to talk, and have fun for one night in a year. 

"There they are!"-Ruby yelled, and jumped into our arms, hugging us both at the same time.

"Hey Rubes."-I greeted her with a huge smile, and waved to the others when I got free from Ruby's strong arms. 

We took our places around the wooden table, and I took my time to carefully look around. There's a lot of people I still don't know.

"So, who are those people?"-I point towards a group I haven't seen yet. 

"That's the chief's family, that's a former firefighter, Marcus, and next to him, the short haired guy, that's his oldest son, he's at the academy, he might be joining us soon."-Booth started to explain pointing at them. I look over the group again, and my eyes catched a brunette. She smiled at the chief, holding a little boys hand who stood close to her, and it looked like they just arrived. Her olive skin was completely flawless. How is it possible that anytime she looked at someone else, her skin glowed, but as soon as she looked at me everything froze around us and it felt like she is burning fire, trying to kill me with her eyes, and hurt me with each and every word she let out of her lips. When she smiled and laughed I couldn't help but smile along too. I don't know this Regina Mills, but I'd be happy to meet her. 

"Em?"-Elsa's harsh voice shook me from my thoughts.

"Sorry. I didn't see you arrived."-I apologised, and sat closer to Booth so Elsa could sit next to me.

"What is Dr. Regina Mills doing here?"-I asked quietly only from Booth, but most of the people who sat around our table looked at me, then at Booth.-"Did I ask something wrong?"-I looked at him, when he just sighed as an answer.

"No, it's just... Regina was the last captain's wife."-Graham said helping Booth out, and looking sorrowful at her slim figure.-"He was our best friend, we finished academy together."-he added.

Booth sniffled, then looked up at Regina.

"He died three years ago in action, when Henry, Regina's son was only three. I don't even think he remember's his stepdad."-August continued.-"After Robin died, I couldn't talk to Regina. We met on his funeral but I couldn't look her in the eyes. This is the second time I see her since Robin passed away."-he said quietly.

"I'm sorry."-I whispered to August and gave a kiss on his cheek when I saw how upset he got.

"Cheer's for Robin."-Graham raised his cup full of beer and threw it down his throat.

"I'll drive us home Booth, you just drink tonight."-I said, offering my beer to him.

"Thanks Em."-he smiled sadly, and took my cup.

"I'm surprised she came. This is the first time she came back since we lost Robin."-Ruby added.

"She missed us."-Graham chuckled.

"I highly doubt that."-Booth burst out of a sour laugh.-"Remember when we almost blew up her kitchen? Robin invited us to hang out at his house and she was out of the city to visit family. Well she ended up yelling at Robin for 40 minutes and made us clean up."-I chuckled.

"Yep. That's the Regina Mills I know."-I giggled.

It seems like she's just wearing a mask most of the time. I saw her talking to kids, or almost anyone else. She is a gentle soul. This is why I can't hate her the way she hates me. She's a good doctor and a good person, and I never thought I'd admit that to myself but I just did. I see her now. She lost a lot like I did, and she's just trying to protect herself. But why would she hate me? 

We keep talking about old stories, then I see Henry, Regina's son standing a few meters away from the other kids, unsure about how to talk to them, or join the game.

"I'll be right back."-I said to Elsa on my left, petting her shoulder as I stood up, because the others are deep in some conversation about the new pumps for the engines.

I walk closer to the little boy, and as soon as Harrison's kids see me approaching, they all run to greet me. In the past month, they spent a lot of time at the station waiting for their father, so we all played with them in our free time. 

"Hi Ryan, Britt, Jess."-I greet the kids, and they all come to hug me.

"Hi Emma."-they greet me, and run back to play the game.

"Ryan!"-I call after the red haired boy, who's age is similar to Henry's.-"Would you mind inviting this gentleman to play with you?"-I ask and the dark haired boy smiled at me ear to ear.

"Hi!"-Ryan waves to him awkwardly.-"I'm Ryan."-he smiles.

"Hi! I'm Henry Mills!"-Henry grins.

"Would you like to play in my team?"-Ryan asked shily, and Henry nod eagerly.

"Great."-I giggled of their cuteness, and ran my hands through Ryan's thick hair.-"You are a good kid Ryan."-I said hugging him close, and winked at Henry.-"Play fair, and be careful."-I added, and they ran to play together.

I turn to walk away, but Regina Mills appears next to me, holding a cup of ice tea, in her hands, and smiling at her son playing with the others.

"That was very nice of you Miss Swan."-she said sincerely, and I gave her a slight smile.

"Kids need a bit of a push sometimes."-I shrugged.

"Yeah. Especially Henry. He's quiet closed up."-she said.

"Well, I can see where he got that from."-I grinned, and Regina's features immediately changed. She put her mask back on, and I could feel the air change around us. My heart started to beat faster, and my palms got sweaty.-"See you later Dr. Mills."-I said nervously before she could reply, I pushed my hands into my back pockets, and walked back to our table.

Regina avoided our group all night, and I couldn't decide if it's because of me, or  because of Booth's and Graham's presentence. The boys kept wondering away, and looking at her time to time. 

"Why don't you guys invite her here?"-Ruby asked, sensing the tenseness of the situation.

"You are right, we should say hi at least."-Graham agreed, looking at Booth for confirmation.

"Hey Gina!"-Booth called out, and she walked to us with a weak smile.

"Hi August, Graham."-she greeted.

"Come sit with us."-Graham invited her, and she took the seat next to Ruby. As the sun went down, it got a bit chilly, so she had wrapped herself in a long white scarf that gleamed in the light of the lampions.

"How are you guys doing?"-she tried to start a conversation, but I can't even imagine how uncomfortable it can be for her. I'd expect the boys to start talking to her but they just humm in response, so I kick August under the table.

"We are good."-he managed to say.

"How are you?"-Ruby tried to help them out as well.

"I'm doing very well dear, thank you."-she replied with a smile.

"Henry got so big."-Booth said, Regina's soft lips stretched into a smile but didn't quite reach her dark eyes. 

"Yes he's a big boy."-she agreed.

They slowly got comfortable with talking to their late best friend's widow, and finally joked around. It seemed like Dr Mills had more fun spending time with us than with the chief, but she kept ignoring the fact I was there.

"Well, it was nice seeing you all, but I think I should get my son home, it's bedtime already."-she said, and stood up, waving to Henry to come.

"It was nice seeing you too Regina."-Graham said, hugging her close.

"Henry, say goodbye."-Regina ordered him.

"Bye."-he waved adorably.

I smiled when Booth lifted him off the ground throwing him in the air.

"I missed you Henry."-he said, playing back the little man on his feet.

"I missed you too August."-he said to him, and gave a huge kiss on his cheek.

"Oh you remember me huh."-Booth chuckled.-"Go little man! Sleep well."-he tousled his hair, and hugged Regina goodbye.-"Take care Gina."-he called her nickname again.

"Bye August."-she breathed out, and let go of the man.

"Wait."-he called after them.-"Here's my number. I'd like to invite you two for dinner next week. Just to... catch up."-he said, handing her a piece of paper.

"I'd love that."-Regina smiled, and took the paper from Booth.-"See you."-she added, and left with her exhausted son.

Two hours later, I threw August on our couch. He was shit-faced drunk.

"Thanks for bringing me home, and taking care of me."-he groaned.

"Anytime idiot."-I grinned, and poured a glass of water for him.

"It's hard to see her again. He was my best friend's wife, and I didn't even stand next to her after all the things happened. I just couldn't you know... I should have. She deserved better, but I just couldn't do it. I..."-I've never seen August this upset.

 

"It's okay big boy."-I cood, sitting next to him.-"Shit happens sometimes, and different people get throw it differently."-I say softly.-"Now sleep you moron."-I chuckle, and leave him in the living room.


	4. Chapter 4

Elsa and I were standing at the back of the rig, refilling some medicine from our list, when August appeared with 'that' look on his face.

"Are we in trouble?"-Elsa asked when he stared at us for a few seconds without saying a word.

"Nah, he just wants something."-I chuckled, and pushed a box of morphine inside of the drawers. 

"Yeah. Um, I'll just...get out of here."-Elsa smiled politely, and left us alone.

"What is it Booth?"-I wondered, and sat on the floor of the truck.

"Um, so you know, Regina and Henry are coming over tomorrow, and I didn't really think it through when I invited them for dinner."-he started.

"I get it."-I sighed.-"Don't worry, I will be out of the place two hours before they arrive, I'll have a cute PJ party at Elsa's, I won't bother."-I said.

"I actually wanted to ask you to stay."-he stated.-"I'm a terrible cook."-he added.

"I can help you with cooking but still leave."-I shrugged.-"I'm not quite Regina's favorite person, so I rather stay away."-I explained.

"I'd be very thankful for helping me out."-he said softly.

"It's done."-I smiled, and he gave me a smile that just seems so sweet with a bit of shyness. That's my friend. 

"I owe you one Swan."-he replied.

"You owe me more than one Booth, now get your lazy ass back to your team."-I command and he ran off smiling to himself.

"It's been six hours and we haven't got a call."-one of the youngest firefighters noticed.

"He didn't just say that."-I hissed, and closed my eyes when I heard the speaker immediately.

Just not us, not us, not us.-I begged in my mind.

"House fire, W. Fillmore Street,  Engine 63, truck 07, truck 19, ambulance 03."-I heard our call, and shut the back doors of the rig.

"Fuck you Nolan Watt!"-I yelled after him, and all of the others, pushed him a bit while running out of the common room.

"Go go go!"-Elsa yelled, when she jumped into the car.

"And I thought it was my lucky day."-she groaned when we arrived to the house which was completely in fire. 

"Blame on Watt."-I said, and parked the car.

"Fuck that kid."-she hissed, and got out of the car. 

The house was big, but the fire was even bigger. Long flames were hugging the entrance and covered a big part of the building. Most of the fires are small, easy to solve, just a burning microwave or a stove. But then there are the kind which is unbearable to fight and just to watch your friends rush into a house like this, gives you a sour feeling, your palm get sweaty and you fear for their lives. The smell dominates every breath and the flames are loud, roaring. You could feel blood pumping in your neck. The engine prepared the fire hose, while most of the rescue squad went inside, leaving us out waiting, while every second they spend in felt like a forever.

"How many people are in?"-I asked the black woman who cried next to the trucks.

"My son, and his friends. Maybe just one, I don't know. I just heard  people yell, then gunshots, and a few second later the whole thing was sat on fire. I think my son got shot."-she said.

"Gunshots?"-I asked.-"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I've heard enough in my lifetime."-she babbled.

"Guys there was a shooting in the building."-I said in the radio.-"Ambulance 03, we need a 10-1 at  Fillmore Street. And one more ambo."-I said.

"On their way."-Liam replied.

I watched as Booth dragged out a man through the door. He was bleeding from several places. He laid him down on the street, and we rushed to his side.

"He's not my son!"-the woman cried.-"Where is my son?"-she screamed and I could feel the fear and desperation in her voice.

"Please, leave the paramedics to do their job."-the chief said softly to the woman, and guided her away from us. 

"Three shots, two holes."-Elsa said, examining the young man.

"Is there anyone else inside?"-Booth asked him, while we were trying to fix the bleeding.

"My friend."-he hissed in pain, and breathe rapidly.-"My chest. My chest is hurting so much."-he screamed.

"Listen to me boy. Only one more person?"-Booth kept asking him.

"I think so."-his face closed in a grimace, his skin pale and clammy. He screamed when we put him on the stretcher, then he went quiet, just panting.

"Put him inside."-I said, and Nolan helped us put him into the ambo.

"Nolan! Drive them to the hospital, we are good here."-the chief ordered, and Watt hopped to the front. 

"He's not responsive."-Elsa said after we put him on the monitor.

"Cardiac tamponade."-I stated my diagnosis, seeing his neck. This just happened to that little girl a month ago, and we were lucky we were there in time, but this time I'm not sure he will make it.

"Is that bad?"-Nolan inquiered.

"The cavity around your heart gets filled with blood or other body liquid, the fluid presses on your heart, less  blood can enter, less oxygen-rich blood is pumped to your body."-I explained.

"We won't get there."-Elsa said quietly, turning to me.

"How long?"-I asked Nolan.

"Five minutes."-he replied.

"Emma, he doesn't have five minutes."-Elsa said.

"Stop the car Nolan."-I order him, and he slowed down the car immediately.

"You sure about this?"-Elsa asked.-"Hm?"-Nolan parked the car, and she prepared the needle.

"What would fucking Regina Mills do?"-I asked more from myself then from Elsa, and I took the needle from her. Let's do what we can.

"Do it Swan."-she ordered.

 Adrenaline floods my system like it's on an intravenous drip. I think my heart will explode and my eyes are wide as I slowly pushed the needle, and drain the fluid from his pericardial sac. Seconds seemed like hours. I better not fuck this up cause if I will, I will surely say goodbye to my job. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, but Regina is right about something. We are paramedics, we vowed to save lives with our best knowledge. I do know what I'm doing therefor I'm doing the right thing. Right?

"You did it Em, his vitals are back."-Elsa smiled proudly.-"Go Watt."-she ordered, when the needle was out of the guy's chest.

I peeked at the screen, and seeing his vitals looked much better already, I sighed in relief. Fuck I hope I won't get into trouble because of this.

"At least I didn't kill anyone today."-I breathed out, when we got to the hospital, and his vitals were still very strong.

"Shooting, he got cardiac tamponade, but we solved that problem."-Elsa said, while we pushed him into the emergency.

"You did pericardiocentesis?"-the middle aged doctor scoffed in disbelief.-"Are you out of your damn mind? You could have killed him!"-he yelled.

"We saved his life. That's what we did idiot."-Elsa raged.

"I'll take it from here, thank you Dr. Walton."-Dr. Mills interrupted, and ordered the other doctor to leave.

"I will report this!"-he threatened, and left in hurry.

"You did the best."-Elsa whispered to me.

"Take him to operating room number 4."-Regina ordered the nurses, then turned to us.

"Which one of you did it?"-she asked, but surprisingly her voice was different this time. Bright and friendly.

"I did."-I breathed out and I felt like my lungs aren't doing their job because I couldn't manage to breath in after. 

"You saved his life."-she stated.-"You did a good thing today Miss Swan."-she nod, and left quickly after the others. 

"Did she just...?"-Elsa asked, and pointed after her with a huge grin.

"I don't know what the fuck just happened here."-I gasped for air, and this time it reached my lungs, letting out a dry laugh.

"Let's just get the papers and see how he's doing."-Elsa suggested, and walked to the nurses.

An hour passed and a smiling Regina Mills walked out of the operating room's door.

"Hi."-she greeted, and we both stood up.-"He's perfectly fine. Emma you did a great job. You could finish medical school. You'd make a good surgeon."-she smiled and she seemed not just proud but kind and quite sweet.

"T... thank you."-I managed to mumble, and she chuckled.

"You see, this is what I expect from paramedics. I might be hard on you sometimes. But truly I just want you guys to do what you can for those people out there. Not to make our job easier but to make a difference. It's crazy how it's against protocol to save a life isn't it?"-she asked and walked to the nurses' desk.

"Thank you for supporting our decision."-Elsa replied, because I couldn't manage to say a word. 

"If Dr. Walton really reports you I'll stand by you at the judge, but I don't think anything would go wrong. You did the right thing. You are the reason he's alive."-she assured, looking directly at me. 

First time since we know each other she was looking at me with respect, and it felt mind blowingly amazing. 

"You okay Miss Swan?"-she asked frowning, when I didn't answer.

"Yeah. I'm fine."-I murmured.

"Good."-she said, pushing some document under her arm, and turned to leave.-"Till next time."-she greeted, and left us there.

"What's wrong with you Em?"-Elsa asked softly.

"What's wrong with me?"-I hiss.-"This woman confuses the shit out of me, that's wrong with me."-I groan and Elsa burst out in a laugh.-"Not funny."-I roll my eyes.

"Don't you see? She has been teasing you in the past year."

"What are you trying to say?"-I asked in confusion.

"She likes you. Idiot."-she waved her arm in the air, like it was obvious.

"This is an insane perspective Elsa. It makes no sense."-I chuckle.

"She never hated you Em."-she stated, and grabbed my arm to drag me out of the building.

"Well she has a weird way of showing it. She is so frustrating."-I groan again, and push the emergency entrance open.

"She's fire and ice. You'll fear the cold and crave the burn."-Elsa sang.

"So poetic."-I roll my eyes.

"It's obvious."-Elsa sang one more time before she hopped into our ambo.

"It's insane."-I sang back, with a small smile.


	5. Chapter 5

"You're so nervous mate just calm down, you make me nervous too." I chuckle when Booth walks around in the kitchen like a zombie staring in front of himself.

"Sorry I'm just... I hope this won't be a disaster." he admitted.

"As long as Henry is here she won't act up." I shrugged.

"You know her well huh?" He smiled at me.

"Not that much, but I can see how much she cares for that kid, and she wouldn't put him through anything uncomfortable. Besides, she was happy about your invitation and definitely pleased to see you. Booth you have nothing to worry about." I stated, and put the oven to 240 degrees to warm up before I put in the potatoes and veggies.

"Are you sure Henry would like this?" He asked again and pointed at the prepared food, getting me annoyed.

"Booth it's crispy, baked potatoes, grilled meat and veggies. What do you think a 'Miss call me Dr. Mills's' kid is eating? I bet this will be a holiday meal for the poor child." I laugh.

"You're right, she made him eat organic stuff since I know them." He admitted followed bye a chukle.

"See? Nothing to worry about! By the way, I wanted to ask you about something. You said Robin was Henry's stepfather. So who is his real father?" I asked.

"A guy called Daniel. He was Regina's boyfriend from first year of high school they basically grew up together. The prik left her after they found out she's pregnant. He was a pussy. A total jerk, he still doesn't want to know about Henry at all, he moved to Europe, and they never heard about him again." He explained.

"You have to be a special kind of asshole to do that to a woman." I groaned. These kind of people doesn't deserve to live I swear. "Anyways, I have to pack." I said and kissed his cheek before walking to my room to pack my sport beg.

"You said Elsa can't make it tonight because it's her sister's birthday." He called after me.

"It's fine, I'll just hit the bar alone-style, then sleep at the Fire House." I shrug.

"No way Swan! You helped me so much, you will stay and eat a proper meal, and no whiskey is not a proper meal." He ordered.

"Booth I don't think that's a good idea. Besides, I don't know better meal then a good old glass of whiskey." I protested, throwing some lingerie into my beg.

"Come on, please? You said she was quite nice last time and believe me Regina can be a bitch to everyone but to those who she gets to know better, and lets in, she's a sweetheart really." He sighed.

"I'll finish the dinner and see about it okay? Now go and buy some drinks. We have orange juice but I believe Henry's into peach ice tea and well I don't think Regina will drink, but buy some white wine maybe she'd enjoy a glass next to dinner." 

"Okay boss." He chuckles. "Anything else?"

"Bring more wine. If anything goes wrong we should do a 1-1 bottle drinking contest." I laughed and started to spice the grill meat.

"Be back in fifteen minutes." He said, and left in hurry. 

Thirty minutes passed but he didn't arrive back. What the fuck Booth?!  
I grabbed my phone and deal his number to see where he is.

"Where are you August?" I asked panicking.

"Still at the store, I met this cute girl and..."

"August Fucking Booth!" I yelled at him through the cellphone. "You better be back in five minutes. They will be here in 20 minutes and I don't want to be alone when they arrive." I warn.

"Fine Em, just chill. Jeez! I'm on my way out." He said.

"Don't tell me to chill!" I yelled but the line went blind.

"I'm going to kill you Booth." I groaned. 

And the exact second the ball rang. No fucking way Swan! 

I pushed the button to open the door, to let them in, and waited for them. 

Booth I'm going to kill you for this.-I texted my friend. 

Not even two minutes passed before I heard three strong knocks on the door.

I opened the door, and Regina stood there alongside Henry. She wore a blue shirt tucked into her black skinny jeans which hugged her curves exactly at the perfect places. She smiled down at Henry, then looked up and her smile froze on her face. 

"It's not nice to stare Miss Swan." She drew my attention back to her face.

"Hey, sorry! Come on in." I tried to be nice without making it weird.

"Hi Emma!" Henry smiled at me with widest adorable grin you could archive from a kid.

"Hi buddy." I smiled back at him. 

"I wasn't aware you were going to be here as well." She said not so friendly this time and walked in. "Where is Booth?" She wondered.

"I live here, and he is out in the grocery store to grab some drink but he should be back already. He's a last minute guy, but I believe you aware of that." I chuckled.

"I'm sorry we were early, I just felt uncomfortable driving around the block for the 4th time." She explained and I nod quietly. 

"Nervous much?" I chuckled, and led them into the livingspace of the apartment. A month ago, I couldn't imagine her being anything close to nervous.   

"I'm never nervous dear." She replies with a cold queenish smile.

"Yeah, you are Mommy." Henry chuckled, giving away the truth.

"Sush Henry." she sassed, and the little kid giggled cutely. 

"That's okay, Booth told me it's been a while since you two talked, so just take it easy. You were friends, it will be fine." I said softly, and she nod, but she didn't seem flattered by my words.

"Are you going to stay?" She asked, and sat on chair at the dining table, while Henry walked around in the living room exploring our stuff. She almost sounded she wished for me to stay. Or, I might just imagine things

"Just to finish helping with cooking. Then I'm out, I wouldn't like to bother at all." I replied, and put the potatoes in. 

Booth teared the door open in the second Regina opened her mouth to reply.

"Heeey!" he greeted them, and they said their hi's.

"So Miss Swan tells..." Regina started, talking to Booth.

"Emma." I state confidently.

She glances at me and I couldn't see her reaction clearly, but it seemed like she can't make up her mind about it either.

"Emma tells me you made her cook, and then leave." She raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms.

"That's not true. I did ask her to help with cooking, you know I have lack of skills in the kitchen. She agreed to help me, then I asked her to stay several times, but she didn't want to. Blame on her." He said, and placed the liquids on the counter.

"I don't want her to go." Henry shrugged, and I winked at him in response.

"See, we all would like you to stay. Miss Swan." Booth teased, and I rolled my eyes with a huge grin.

"Fine. What about Dr. Mills help me serve the food, and you and Henry set the table?" I asked and Henry jumped up and down from happiness.

"Sure Swan." Booth replied, and ordered Henry to carry some napkins to the table.

"Just... Regina." She whispered in a rough voice which was a huge turn on.

"I prefer Dr. Mills." I teased, smiling at her.

"Of course you do." she chuckled, but this time it wasn't from annoyance. Did I just make Regina Mills smile? 

"Mhm." I humm, and place the done potatoes and veggies into a plate while she just leaned on the counter next to me.

"These smell delicious." She complimented, breathing in the smell of food. "I didn't think you were such a good cook Emma."

"What can I do? I'm full of surprises." I winked, and her reaction was priceless. First she rolled her eyes but then she bit her lower lips, and didn't stop even when I smiled at her like a fool. 

"But I think you eat much better meals than this." I add, before things get uncomfortable.

"You think so?" she laugh lightly, brightening the room with her voice.

"I do believe my cooking skills are way behind yours." I confirmed.

"I eat at the cafeteria dear." She chuckles. "You don't have time to cook when you are working at emergency department, but I don't have to tell you about that."

"Oh. Well I'm lucky my coworkers cook at the Fire House." I chuckle, but her smile fades a bit before she bites on her lip one more time, and tacks her hair behind her ear. Her emotions were not easily hidden on her face. Her pain was evident, when I looked into her eyes. Most of the times when I looked into her deep dark eyes, I saw passion. Passion that would beat any beauty in the universe. Passion that turned her eyes into the brightest fire. The fire that kept me close even when she was insulting me and my work completely leaving me humiliated, completely burned down. This time, the fire wasn't that bright. And I would never imagine her letting me see her so weak, but she let's me see the real Regina Mills for some reason, so I better not fuck up. "I won't mention the Fire House again." I whispered softly, and she nod like her heart completely emptied out.

"It's okay." she said, and went to sit with her son at the table.

"This is so yummy!" Henry said with full mouth of potatoes.

"No talking with you mouth full Henry!" Regina ordered him.

"Sorry." He murmured, with his mouth still full which made us all laugh. This kid is adorable. 

"I have to agree with Henry, this is an amazing, easy, summer meal, I love the spicing." Regina complimented and I took it with a smile.

"Can we play on the PS4?" Henry asked shily after finishing his icecream.

"Sure Henry." Booth replied. "Em would you set it for him please?"

"Sure I would." I chuckled and took the plates. "You just talk a bit, I'll entertain my little friend." I said, and Regina and August both smiled gratefully.

"Nothing violant okay?" Regina asked me and I nod.

"Trust me Dr. Mills." I said, and left with Henry, and jumped on the couch.

"What do you say? Fifa or NBA?" I asked Henry.

"We have fifa at home." Henry grinned.

"Well let's see if you can beat the master then." I challenged the little guy.

We played for about an hour, then he said he got tired, and he'd rather watch something. He ended up passed out in front of the TV in the middle of How to train your dragon. I didn't want to bother Booth and Regina, so I excused myself and sat out to the balcony, with my iPod.

The wind was blowing a bit, which made me shiver every once in a while, but I didn't mind. I enjoyed the wind, the sounds, and I just started to distance myself from the things that bothered me.

"Emma." I heard Regina's soft voice calling for my name.

"Oh hey!" I smiled at her, and took out my earphones. "I didn't notice you."

"We are leaving. I just wanted to thank you again for the dinner and playing with Henry, he had a lot of fun tonight." she said, but when I opened my mouth to speak, she continued. "It was easier that you were here, so I'm very glad you decided to stay." she added.

"And here I though you hated me." I smirked.

"Oh I do." she said with faked sassiness.

"Sure you do." I grinned like a child.

"Bye Miss Swan." she said teasingly.

"Bye Dr. Mills." I flirted. 

What am I thinking? This is Regina Mills. Tomorrow she will be back to her old self. I better forget this woman.


	6. Chapter 6

Days passed slowly after the dinner with Regina. I saw her at the hospital time to time but we never had a chance to have a proper conversation, one of us was always in a hurry to somewhere. I don't think things changed that much between us. She stayed the fancy ass emergency surgeon, and I stayed the little gray paramedic that I was before. I even missed her sassiness and teasing but since we were on better terms she just did her job, and kept ignoring my presentation.

We were at the hospital after just finishing our shift with Elsa, when I saw a dark haired little kid sit at the corrior's chair, staring at the people walking by. 

"Henry?" I asked when I got a closer look of him.

"Hi Emma." he looked up, and his eyes were full of tears . When he opened his mouth to speak the words came out fitfully, the sounds half swallowed by a sobbing noise.

"Oh boi, what's going on sweetie?" I asked, and Elsa stopped next to us as well.

"Mary left me here, and I've been waiting for Mommy for an hour, but the ladies said she's busy, and she can't take me home." he sniffled. His eyes shifted to the side and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. As he blinked, they dripped from his eyelids and slid down his cheeks.

"Oh kiddo, don't cry, everything will be alright I promise you." I whispered, and wiped off his tears. 

The next minute, they pushed in a man with totally opened torso, bleeding all around the stretcher. Henry looked up and his face turned green and he had a grimace on, tears running down on his cheeks again.  
Elsa stepped in front of Henry to try to hide the man from his view.

"Hey Helen." I greet on of the nurses I knew when she walked out from their changing room. "Could you tell Regina Mills that her son is here and waiting for her to take him home?"

"She know about it already. She has a shift until 8 pm, and she just started a 3 hours surgery. She's not exactly replaceable right now Emma." Helen replied, and smiled sadly at Henry.

"It's just 5 pm, how could your babysitter leave you here?" I asked, turning to Henry.

"Mary said she can't take care of me, she had an emergency." Henry explained. 

"I see." I replied and frowned. I can't believe his babysitter is such an idiot. How can someone leave a 6 year old child right next to the emergency exit? How is it okay with her to make him see thing that most people haven't seen in their whole lifetimes?

"Emma please take me home." he asked me, and I glanced Elsa and Helen for their opinion but they just shrugged.

"Please." he begged. "I don't want to stay here." he added, and hugged me tight. I wrapped my arms around his tiny body, and lifted him from his seat. 

"Please tell Dr. Mills, I took Henry home, and she can pick him up after her shift from my apartment. She knows where I live." I said and she nod, and left. 

"Thank you."I called after her and she looked back with a smile on her face, waving goodbye.

"Come on Buddy." I whispered to Henry, and he kept his arm wrapped around my neck as I carried him out.

"I'll drop you out at home." Elsa offered.

"Have you traveled in an ambo little man?" She asked Henry and he shook his head. 

"Well you'll have a better first experience then most of the people." she chuckled. 

"Can we put on the sirens?" he asked, and smiled slightly, wiping the tears of his little cheeks.

"Sure we can." I smile, and hold him close.

When we got to hour apartment I put in a film for Henry to distract him, and I ordered food. 

"Emma?" He called for me, when I put down my phone.

"Yes sweetie?" I asked, and sat next to him.

"Are those ladies and man going to be okay? At the hospital? They were bleeding bad." he sighed.

"Oh baby boy." I whispered. "Who wouldn't get better when your Mommy is taking care of them huh?" I asked and I earned a slight smile.

"I know that my Mommy is a great doctor. But she told me she can't save everyone." he shrugged. 

"That's right. Henry you are a big boy. You have to understand that bad things happen in this world. You shouldn't have seen it at such a young age. I understand you're a bit sad now, but believe me you will adjust. And next time you are left alone like this, just call me sweetie, tell the nurses to call Emma, and I will be right there with you. I promise you little man." I said and hugged him close, I could hear his little voice as he tried to hide his sobbing.

"You know what I do when I see very bad things?" I asked him and he shook his head agains my chest.

"I close my eyes for a second and imagine myself on a better place. Like the park that was next to my first foster home. We played there a lot with my foster brothers. It had a little lake and we used to ice skate at the winter, played between the trees at the summer.. it was magical. It gave me comfort. What does give you comfort Henry?"

"Mommy?" He whispered.

"Well next time just imagine your Mommy is there with you. What would she say to you?"

"She would comfort me, and kiss me, and let me play the PS4 for more than thirty minutes." He chuckled slightly. 

"See Henry you're already smiling." I laugh with him. 

"You are like Mommy." he whispered. And his words got me off guard.

"What do you mean?" I asked pulling away a bit.

"You're warm. And comforting. And I like you Emma." he said, shifting closer to me. My heart melted from his words. He's such a sweetheart.

"And I let you play PS4." I chuckled and he giggled cutely.

Not long after, and our food arrived.

"This looks yummy." he smiled, and took the plate of italian food into his lap, when I handed it over. 

"What about we finish that film we started a few weeks ago while eating, then play some PS4?" I suggested.

He nodded eagerly, and pushed a mouthful of pasta into his mouth.

Three hours passed, and I heard three aggressive knock on my door. Henry was passed out on the couch, and I was reading a book on my phone at the kitchen. I walked to the door, quietly, careful not to make noises. Another loud knock was heard, and I opened the door immediately, before they could knock again.

"Hey." I greeted Regina.

"Where is Henry?" She yelled. Her eyes were darker than anytime before. Her rage held all the power of a wildfire, you could practically see the flames roaring in her eyes, ready to ignite anything that she came in contact with. Her muscles tight, jaw clenched, she pushed me aside, as she walked into my apartment.

"Shhh. He's sleeping on the couch, don't yell Regina." I ordered her. 

"You took my son." She hissed.

"Maybe you should leave him with responsible people who won't leave him at the god damn emergency. He begged me to take him here. If anyone to blame it's you for not choosing a good babysitter." I replied angrily. I can't believe she's angry with me for taking care of her son.

"You had no right to take him." She replied, trying to keep quiet, but I could see how much effort she puts into trying not to rip my head off.

"Damn Regina I was trying to help." I said in disbelief.

"It doesn't matter Emma! He's MY son!" She groaned. "I was worried sick."

"You were worried about your patients Regina and it's understandable you were in a middle of a surgery." I replied. "I took him home, fed him, confronted him when he asked about those people who were brought into the emergency. I did what was the best for him. You should fucking thank me, but here you are arguing instead." I raged.

"You don't know what's best for him." She hissed again. "He barely know's you Emma." She added. 

"Yeah because leaving him there to see those people hurt is so good for him. He was crying and begging me to take him from there." I said, and looked away from Regina's raging eyes. 

"You don't get to judge me or my decisions, and from now on, you leave me and my son alone. You don't ever get near him again. Understood?" She asked, louder this time.

"Mommy what's going on?" I heard a tired little voice speak behind me. 

I turned around, and looked at him sadly. I can't believe she's angry with me. I just tried to help her out.

"We are going home Henry." Regina replied.

He climbed off the couch, and walked to us.

"Bye Emma. Thank you for taking me here." He said sweetly, and hugged me. I hugged him back, keeping him close. 

"Take care little man." I said, and kissed the top of his head.

"Bye." I said coldly to Regina and closed the door behind them, but she didn't even bother to say goodbye.

Booth arrived home an hour later.

"Em." He called for me, and found me laying on the couch half asleep. "Chief sent you this." He said, and gave a paper to me.

I sat up, and looked at the letter in front of me. 

"This serves as an acknowledgement that you have read and understood why this written reprimand was issued." I read on the paper aloud, then tossed it aside.

"Fuck them." Booth groaned, and opened the fridge. "Beer?" He asked softly. 

"Yes please." I said, and sat up straight on the couch so he could sit next to me.

"Regina called me." He said.

"Yeah she's angry with me for helping her out. Imagine that." I rolled my eyes, and opened my beer. "And I though she'd be grateful you know? I did what she'd do for me. It's funny. Cause I even asked myself what would she do in my place. I mean, I could have stay with him at the hospital but where? It's a hospital. Sick and hurt people everywhere, it's not a place where a child should hang out."

"Agree. You did the best you could do. It's okay Swan I promise you, she was just worried about Henry. She wasn't angry with you. That kid is her everything. Believe me you probably got the nicer talk. Just imagine what she did to the babysitter." He chuckled.

"I rather not." I laugh slightly.

"Chill Em. About all. This is your first reported 'issue' they won't do shit, they just want to scare you. And Regina, well I can't say she will apologize anytime soon, but she will come around for sure." He tried to comfort me. "She's Regina. Not the person of apologies." He added. 

"Thanks Booth. You're a good friend." I said, and raised my bottle.

"Cheers." We say together, knocking our bottles together, and drinking till the button.

"One more?" I questioned and stood up.

"Make it two." he laughed and turned on the TV.

That night I couldn't fall asleep. I've been turning around sleeplessly in my bed for hours. I recalled her raging eyes again and again. Does she think I'm a psychopath? Or that I want to take her son away from her in any way? This is crazy, I did what a friend would do. But I guess she doesn't see me anything close to a friend. She won't be standing on my side when it comes to my hearing for sure. How can I feel so dumb when it comes to Regina? I got up angrily, pulled my blonde hair back into a tight pony-tail and decided to do some miles on the treadmill. I need to clean my head.


	7. Chapter 7

Finally the day I've dreading is here and I can't halt the dawn ebbing it's gradual way into daylight. 

I'm sitting on my balcony in the warm breeze of the morning, yet I'm shaking. My brain is constantly repeating the answers of the questions they might ask me this afternoon. My stomach shifts uneasily how I think about what it's gonna be like. As a kid I did some very mischief stuff, so I got to sit in the director's office a lot. Not like they could call in my parents or anything. I was always alone. But as a grew up I got more and more anxious from situations like this. All I got is my profession and my new family. Without my profession, I can lose them all. I knew I would never be alone anymore cause I found my people, but knowing I could lose the time I spend with them, knowing I'd have to leave them, would break my heart. And all because of doing the right thing. Everyone is telling me they'll let me go with a warning and I shouldn't worry but they can't possibly know that. I got up angrily, put on my uniform, and drove myself to work. Maybe people around would be a good distraction.

 "Hey Emma!" Graham greeted me with a smile at the morning when he entered the common room and found me there alone. The other shift was out on a call and our shift won't start until 6 am, but I was up all night trying to prepare for my hearing. 

"Hi." I replied shyly, try to hide the tiredness in my voice. 

"You don't seem good Em, did you sleep at all?" He asked, while making a coffee for himself.

"I slept yesterday afternoon, but I was up all night." I replied.

"Worried about the disciplinary hearing?" He asked softly, and glanced at the papers lying in front of me on the coffee table.

"Yeah." I relied, wishing to stop the conversation.

"Want me to help?" He asked softly, and sat on the couch next to me. 

I didn't reply but he took my letter and read it quietly.

"Possible outcome can be written warning, final warning, or dismissal. Well fuck them!" He groaned. "Idiot bitches. All they have to know is how to be in charge and they can't even do that good." He frowned, which made me laugh finally in days. "I mean come on Em! If saving a life isn't enough proof that you do your job perfectly well then fuck them!"

"Yeah but they can still cut my career in half if this won't go well." I say and shrug.

"You have a legal right to take someone with you. Are you taking Elsa?" He asked and I shrugged.

"I can't take her she's the 'witness'. They will question her anyway." I explained.

"Oh right. Good then, you can take one more person who's on your side. It's really worth to take someone. Being alone against those wolfs... I rather go into a burning house all alone." He adds.

"Thanks that makes me feel better." I groan and let out a dry laugh when he smiled embarrassedly about making it worse. 

Four hours later we were at the hospital after a call, and I felt like I desperately needed to talk to Regina. Maybe if I apologize she'd come to the hearing with me. Maybe if I could just put aside my pride... 

"Hey, Emma." I heard a dry, familiar voice when I was about to leave.

"Regina." I breath out in relief. She didn't ignore me in fact she said hi. A huge stone fell off my chest, and smiled at her slightly. 

"Your hearing is today, yes?" She asked, while placing documents into their places.

"Yes, it starts at 3 pm." I replied watching her reaction but her face was unreadable.

"See you there." She said, and walked away with another paper in her hands. 

I smiled to myself for a second. She will keep her word even if she hates me for different reasons. This is what makes her her. Regina is not someone who's not truthful to her own words. That's what make her always so confident, and this is why most people respect her even if they don't necessarily like her. 

I was standing at the corridor, while waiting for my hearing to start, and Regina to arrive. I shifted my weight from one leg to the other, and tried to breathe deeply to stay calm. The worst part about these hearings is, you never know if they are in good or bad mood. They can take away everything you worked for in your whole life without thinking about it twice and then you're left with nothing or they can leave you with a warning and with no serious consequences. It's hard to think about how both options can happen to me in about an hour or so. 

Finally Regina appeared at the end of the corridor with no expression on her face at all. She wore a navy blue dress, hugging her curves tightly, her hair was perfectly straightened, and she wore high heels which made her match my height. She probably caught me staring, because she cleared her throat, which brought my attention back to her face. I saw a slight satisfied smile dancing on her lips, and I smiled at her.

"Thank you for coming." I said, and looked away. 

I need to concentrate on this hearing not how Regina looks. God damn it Swan just look into her eyes.

"I keep my word." She said, and sat down on a chair not far from where I was standing. 

The hearing should have started around 3 but it was already 3:20 and they weren't calling us in. I walked up and down on the corridor trying to relax.

"Emma." Her voice echoed on the corridor when she called my name. "Stop acting so nervous it will be alright." She tried to calm me. I rolled my eyes. "Seriously Swan you're acting like a child."

"My career is the one at risk Regina." I murmured. "Not yours."

"What was that?" She asked coldly.

"Nothing." I said, and sat down next to her. "I'm just... acting like a child." I repeated her words and looked up, finding her smile at me.

"Come on, you know I can eat them for breakfast if I wish to." She flashed an devilish smile, which usually made me feel like she's showing desire to cause trouble but in this scenario I felt like she's just trying to comfort me and I found it amusing.

"Look before we get called in. About last time... I feel ashamed of my behaviour. The way I talked to you was terrible and you've been so good to Henry, he can't stop talking about you. You completely charmed him. I know things with the babysitter was my fuck up and I was angry at myself and I took it out on you. I just want to apologize and I know we had our ups and downs but you can trust me with this hearing. I will stand by you as I promised, and yeah I'm willing to rip their heads off if that's what it takes." She talked so quickly I could barely follow, and when I opened my mouth to speak, I was speechless, I couldn't manage to split out a thank you. I was lost in the moment.

"You okay?" She asked, and her voice was filled with concern this time.

"Yeah." I sighed finally in relief.

"You don't look good." She said, trying to catch my eyes one more time. 

"Thanks, you cleaned up nice yourself." I faked a groan with a smile. 

"Oh I knew that already from the expression on your face when you first saw me walk in." She teased. "You can't hide anything Swan. You're face show's exactly what you think."

"Oh really, so you dressed up for me huh?" I teased right back.

"Oh, you got me." She rolled her eyes playfully, and then comfortable silence fell between us.

"So are we back to this again?"  questioned, raising an eyebrow at her. 

"Back to what Swan?" She asked back.

"Flirting." I stated confidently.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm never flirting with anyone." She stated with faked seriousness.

"Mhm Dr. Mills. Sure not." I chuckled. I like this Regina Mills. The carefree one, with flirtatious, smart comments, who knows exactly what she's doing, the playful and  sassy one, the one who cares for everyone... 

"Emma Swan?" I hear my name, and it makes my breathing rapid and shallow immediately. I can feel my pulse pounding in my temples. My body is reacting like there's a gladiator about to beat the crap out of me instead of being faced with some people from above. My body is preparing for a marathon instead of sitting still for a couple of hours, and my brain fights the urge to walk out the building.

Regina must sense how anxious I got, cause I felt her hand on my back just for a brief moment, which caused me relax and take a deep breath. "We got this Emma." She whispered softly into my ear before we stepped into the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Please let me know what you think about the story so far, I'm excited for all kind of reviews! Thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

"Who's back to her team?" I heard August's voice yell through the loud music when we entered our favorite smoky bar. I found my friends standing by the bar, raising their shots. Elsa, August, Ruby and Graham all looked a bit drunk already. Elsa's pale face was all red this time, and both Graham and Booth had some weird spark in their eyes.

 

I just smiled, walking in alongside Regina, and August grabbed my waist, throwing me in the air, causing Regina and I both to giggle.

"Okay, okay big boy I presume you're drunk." I laughed and looked at Regina to see how's she doing. This is the first time she came back to this bar since her husband passed away and I wanted to make sure she's comfortable.

After the hearing I wanted to thank her somehow for her help, because she did most of the work really. If her presence wasn't enough to start with, she had a chance to stand up and speak, they couldn't really deny she's right, so they left me with a warning.

She looked around, examining the bar slowly. Maybe searching for changes, new faces.

"Hey Regina!" They greeted her with a hug, and Graham and Elsa gave us 1-1 shot.

"Cheers for Emma!" Ruby yelled, but I put up my hand. 

"Hey wait!" I stopped them before they could throw their drinks down their throats. "To Regina! She's the hero of the day!" I smiled at her softly and she returned my smile. Her smile showed happiness, but you could see through it, a smile that still showed the pain which surrounded her whole being when she was around us.

"To Regina!" They cheered.

"Drinks are on Emma!" Graham yelled and I pushed his arm and smirked at him, then looked back at Regina who smiled widely at the situation. I bet she missed these idiots.

"Fine drinks are on me." I said, and led the way to the back of the bar.

We sat down at our usual table, and ordered our next round, while everyone settled. Regina decided to sit between Elsa and I, while Graham, Booth and Ruby sat in front of us. 

"So where's Henry?" Graham inquired, looking at Regina. I could see he had enough drinks already cause his eyes where a bit glassy and he spoke way to slow.

"He's staying with his grandparents for a week. Summer holiday can be a pain in the ass if you don't have a babysitter." She explained.

"Well, we are happy to see him at the Fire House sometimes, I'm sure Harrison's kids would be happy to play around with someone their age. No offense Emma." Graham said followed by a chuckle, and in the exact same moment a girl covered his eyes from back.  She has a distinctive appearance, with her long, flowing, bright red hair, sparking green eyes, and smokey makeup. She was truly one of the most beautiful girls I've seen lately. 

"Hey Baby." she said, and gave a kiss on his cheek. 

"Oh hey Ariel." He smiled at her widely. "Guys, this is Ariel my girlfriend, and Ariel, this is August, Ruby, Emma, Regina and Elsa." He said Elsa's name so slow I felt my heart pounding in my ears. 

Poor Els...

"Hey everyone, Dr. Mills." She nodded at Regina with a slight smile. I guess they know each other from the hospital.

"Miss Blaese." Regina greeted her coldly. Well at least I know I wasn't the only one she kept away. 

"You know each other?" Graham asked her, while she sat in his lap. I shifted in my seat to see how's Elsa doing. She didn't even try to look at those lovebirds.

"Yes she was my mentor for like a month." Ariel splitted the words between her teeth like she was cursing, and Regina chuckled drily.

Thankfully no one asked anything cause that probably wouldn't end well. 

"So, how long have you guys been together?" Elsa asked looking up from her phone which she had placed on the table probably only for distraction.

"Uhm, how long babe?" Graham looked up at Ariel. Something is off Graham is the one who remembers every little detail, there's no way he doesn't remember.

"It's been 5 months Love." Arial smiled brightly. She truly looked happy, and in love. She didn't even seemed like a bitch I imagined her to be. Maybe I just made up my mind against her, to help Elsa cope with everything. Either way, I hate this situation, and I definitely hate Graham for putting Elsa through this. 

"That's so lovely." Elsa replied, but she couldn't hide how disappointed she is from me. I could feel it how her voice trembled.

Regina looked at me, reading my face like a book. I should take classes from 'how to hide your feelings' or something, cause she could definitely see I'm worried about something.

"So Regina. Did you leave those bastards alive or just one to deliver the message?" Ruby asked, turning everyone's attention to Regina. Ruby always know when to interrupt and change the topic. 

"What are you talking about?" Regina laughed. "I'm a gentle soul. I just made them see how uneducated they are." She shrugged.

"Oh you do that very good. Making people think you're the only one who can manage a surgery." Ariel says, and I could feel the air getting hot around us. 

"I'm good at my job Miss Blaese. And as a mentor I have to prepare you. It's not about my ego but helping you get better in your job. You didn't like to work with me, fine. Some would kill for me to mentor them." Regina replied calmly. I could feel she's holding back the beast. Although I kind of wished she wouldn't hold it back. There was something attractive about her when she talked right from her heart. Her body language changed as well. She straightened,held her chin up, and she was never afraid to look anyone in the eye. She could kill with those big brown eyes. 

Ariel on the other hand, avoided eye contact and turned to Graham.

"So any interesting firefighting story for today?" She asked and we all gasped for air. 

"We have a rule here, we don't talk about work." Elsa informed her coldly.

"That's right." Booth and I agreed.

"We have that rule at home. I don't want to go to sleep with the idea of him rushing into a burning house. It's just scares me to death." Ariel said, looking right into Regina's eyes and  Regina shifted in her seat. She does this on purpose. She is a bitch after all... I feel like I'm so focused on Regina beside me in this situation I could feel what she feels. She turned pale, and pushed her back against the back-rest. Ariel wants Regina out of here, but I won't let that happen. She deserves to be appreciated and respected in this fellowship, and I won't let a sneaky little red haired girl scare her off. 

"Well I'm very glad we have the same rules then." I said coldly, addressing my message to the red head.

"Is that Regina Mills? Or am I just dreaming?" Harrison almost screamed as he and some older firefighters walked in, and came to say hi.

Oh this is not in a good time. This must be so uncomfortable for her. I should have listened to myself and taken her out for a dinner or to another bar, there's just too many memories here. But she insisted to come here after I called Booth and he said they are all waiting for me here.

"Heey." Regina's face turns into a smile for my surprise, and hugs them tight. 

"We missed you here Regina. I'm so glad I can see that pretty face of yours smile again. Let me invite you for a drink. Oh and Emma, you too darling." He smiled, and gave a kiss on the top of my head. 

"It's quite cute how you play with his kids and he treats you like his daughter." Ruby covered her mouth, trying to hide her laugh. 

"So funny Rubes. But I'm pretty sure I've seen you and Elsa play with them too, but I'm definitely their favorite." I wink and Regina chuckles softly before sipping from her whiskey.

"What?" I whisper.

"Looks like you're very good with children. Not just mine, but three other loves you. Impressive." She said, and I shrugged.

"Again, I'm full of surprises." I smiled.

"That you are Miss Swan. That you are." She said grinned, and finished her drink.

"So, this is like the first time you're back since..." Ariel inquiered. I had enough of this girl.

Everyone remained quiet, and Regina closed her eyes. 

"Did I ask something wrong?" She asked, addressing the question to Graham.

"Babe, I think you should go." He said softly, stroking her back. "I'll see you at home."

"I have every right to be here." She stated, not moving from Graham's lap.

"It's for the best if you go. I won't stay long." Graham said, pushing her off his lap. 

"No, wait. It's getting late, I should head home anyway. It was nice seeing you all again." Regina said, and stood up from our table.

"What Regina no! Stay please." Booth said, and gave an angry glare to Ariel. 

"No it's fine. I worked a lot lately and I need a long sleep." She said, and placed a hand on Elsa's shoulder to sign her to let her out. "I'll see you soon." She said, and walked away. She said goodbye to the others who with time settled at the bar while walking out. I looked after her, and  weight my options up. I either go after her and talk, or stay and I won't hear from her for another two weeks.

I throw my whiskey down my throat angrily, and stood up too. 

"See you tomorrow." I groaned, kissed Elsa's cheek as I passed her, and rushed after Regina.

I found her standing ten meters away from the entrance, holding her phone to her ear. I walked closer I took a look at her for a second, I heard she's probably talking to a cab dispatcher. I walked up to her, grabbed her phone and shifted it to my ear, which caused her jump a bit in surprise then she looked away staring at the dark horizon.

"No need for a cab thank you." I said simply, and ended the call.

"You can't make me go back." She said dryly, and after she took back her phone she crossed her arms.

"Good, I don't want to go back either." I shrugged, and started to walk down the street.

She didn't follow me on the first five meter, but soon I heard her shoes's clicking sound against the pavement.

"So canceled my cab. What now?" She asked annoyedly, when she finally catched up with me.

"We are going to have proper street food, then go to a random bar and have another 4-5 drinks then go home and spend the night sitting on the balcony and talking." I said simply like we already agreed on a plan.

"What makes you think I'd ever go home with you?" She asked and rolled her eyes.

"I wasn't sure if you will get stuck with the streetfood or coming home with me." I chuckled.

"Kinda both." She replied, but kept walking with me. Something makes me think she actually wants me around, and it helps me going. 

"Come on Gina." I smiled at her, and stopped, grabbing her lower arm. "I know the best kebab place ever, and I can guarantee you'd have fun tonight with me.

"Do. Not. Ever. Call. Me. Gina." She warned, and I could see the fire in her eyes.

"Okay. Sorry." I said, and put my hand up in defense.

"Look Emma I get what you're trying to do." She stated calmly. 

"Trying to become your friend." I stated.

"No." She chuckled. "You're trying to get into my panties , and it won't ever happen." She stated. 

"Gosh you're so full of yourself." I gasped.

"So why make friends with an egocentric bitch?" She asked, and started to walk again, but I stopped her.

"I swear Regina you're getting me crazy. You are so fucking complicated." I groaned once again, and I could see I lighted fire in her eyes again.

"Then you might just want to stay out of my life." She suggested sarcastically. Typical Regina style.

"I want to be your friend. I swear. Just a friend." I say, and stare at her ragefull eyes for a few second. She doesn't say a word to me. "Regina please." I begged.

"I don't need a friend from pity." She stated. "Why do you even care?" She asked. 

"It's not pity Regina." I said. "I wan't to become your friend because I respect you, and you're actually fun to be with. And I know you care too. Otherwise you wouldn't have apologized or stand up for me on the hearing."

"Oh I don't care dear." She laughed dryly. "I did what every decent doctor would do for a coworker."

"You're not honest." I state and she still doesn't say a word to me. "I'll call you a cab and you won't hear from me again, if that's what you really want." I stated, and let go of her arm.

"I can call my own cab." She said, and walked away. Again, I did everything to keep her around and she pushed me away. 

I turned back and found Elsa leaning on the wall of the bar. 

"Am I an idiot for trying?" I asked more from myself then from her. "Regina won't ever change she will keep pulling me close then pushing me away." I gasped for air. "That what she does and I fell for her tricks again. I keep humiliating myself, and the thing is I still don't want to give up." I said quietly.

"Then don't." Elsa says softly, and looks after Regina's clear off figure.

"I... Don't know what to do." I admit. "She won't talk to me tonight that's for sure."

"How do you know?" She asked.

"I... I don't." I say. Elsa smiles softly, and hugs me.

"Go after her Em."She whispers. 

"You alright?" I asked and she nod against my shoulder. "That Ariel bitch should burn." I laughed, when I heard Elsa giggle.

"I miss you Emma." She admits. "But now you have your girl to run after." She states, and pushes me away from the hug.

"I miss you too Els. And she's not my girl." I add, while starting to walk after her.

"Sure she's not." Elsa chuckled, and waved goodbye.

"Let's find Regina." I whisper to myself.


	9. Chapter 9

I walked down the street, looking around for Regina. She quickly disappeared, so I have no idea where to look for her. Maybe she just got into a cab and went home. Maybe I should stop trying to find her. I must have walked at least for ten minutes when soft music hit my ears. I approached a bar on the corner, and looked inside of the window. I drew my eyes from one person to another, to see if I have luck tonight, until my eyes found the brunette, sitting at the bar. The black haired bartender leaned close to her as he talked, and then started to prepare a drink. I stood there for a minute, looking at her figure as she pushed both of her elbows on the bar top. It didn't take a minute until a guy sat next to her and started to talk. He seemed to try his hardest to look good, but Regina barely even looked at him. 

I step into a bar slowly closing the door behind me. One guy was smoking inside, the smoke twisted in its artistic way, forming curls in the gloom, as some fresh air came into the room. Regina leaned on the bar, her dark hair lying over one shoulder of her bodycon dress. She didn't look at the guy who was trying to catch her attention too much. 

I felt my palms getting sweaty, and my breathing heavier. I've been so lost in constructing scenarios for the evening ahead that I'm surprised to see how far I've come. I stood right next to Regina, and sat down. She looked up to see my blonde curls, and she shook her head. 

"What are you doing here Swan?" She groaned and rolled her eyes at me. 

"I'm having a drink with my coworker." I shrugged and smiled at her. I could see she's struggling with hiding her smile.

"You're impossible." She sassed, and turned away from me.

"You're impossible." I scoffed back, and waved to the bartender to take my order.

"I'm sorry is there a problem?" The guy next to Regina questioned.

"No, we are fine." Regina replied harshly.

"Ok, I'll just get out of here then." He said, and left us alone.

"You'd think a goodlooking guy like him have a spine to stand out for his lady." I chuckled. 

"Is there someone to stand out against?" She asked. 

"No." I smiled softly.

"I don't hate you Emma." She breathed out after a few minutes sitting in silence. "I don't necessarily like you either." She added which made me gasp.

"Well, that's a good start." I smile again, and this time she returns it.

"Why didn't you give up?" She asked. 

"Why would I?" I asked back, and throw my drink down my throat.

"Because I told you to." She pointed out.

"Yeah, I'm a rebel." I shrug, and I hear a raspy laugh coming through her perfectly formed lips.

"You annoy me Emma Swan." She admits. It breaks my heart but I knew it right she didn't mean to hurt me. 

"Why?" I ask quietly turning serious.

"Cause you're different. I could send you to hell and throw you out on the door a thousand times, and you'd climb back on the window for the thousand and one time." She said.

"Does it bother you that much?"

"You annoy the shit out of me with it."

"I thought you liked our games." I shrugged.

"I did. I do. As long as they are games." She admitted.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked back cause I didn't really see her point.

"You were the first one who went into my games and never backed off. It's quite fun to tease you, especially cause I always win."

"I let you win." I interrupt.

"Sure you do." She laughed dryly, and one her locks fell to her face. I reached to put it back to her ear, but she pulled away. "This is what I don't want Emma. I don't want you to care. Not even for one lock of my hair." She said, and fixed her hair herself.

"I don't." I smirked. "I liked it better that way." I shrugged and I earned a smile again.

"Emma you made yourself clear when you stated you want us to be friends."

"Well what can I do?" I asked back. "You confuse me a lot." I admit, and grab my second drink the bartender placed in front of me.

"How do I confuse you?"

"You act like you care. Then push me away. Then again, you talk like we were besties, then push me away."

"That's just me Emma. It's me. I don't make friends, I have a few and I don't need one more person who I can possibly lose."

"So you're just afraid of losing me?" I questioned back almost furiously.

"I'm not. But I don't want to be." She stated, and stood up.

"I'll see you at the hospital sometime. Um... Bye Miss Swan." She stated and threw a few dollar on the bar.

I didn't say goodbye. This is just confusing. I just can't deal with this right now. 

I sat at the bar for like a minute before I decided to climb back on the window for the thousand and one time. 

I left some money on the bar too, and left on the front door. She was standing next to a few people, who were smoking on the corner. She probably waited for her cab to arrive.

I walked up to her, and I could see the fire in her eyes again, as the weak streetlight lightened her face. She raised her chin, and stepped back, laying her back against the brick building, when I stepped closer. For a second we stared at each other. Then warm blood rushed through my body. Normally I wouldn't have enough confidence to do something like this but the few drinks pushed me through the border. I grabbed her by her waist, and pulled her against my torso. Our lips connected way faster then I imagined, and it sent chills down my spine, and I leaned closer and pushed her against the wall. My heart skips a beat. Her lips dancing on mine and we burn with desire. I think we were so lost in the moment we completely shut out the men around us cheering. I didn't care at all, all I knew is I want to kiss these perfect lips till the end of my life. I was surprised when she deepened the kiss, and pulled me closer by my hips, completely pinning her to the wall. I loved it. I loved the way her small body melted into mine. The way our lips fit like two puzzle pieces brought together after thousands of years apart from each other. I loved the way she relented as I held her tighter and tighter. We heard a car turn into the small street next to us, and when we broke away after what seemed like ages she looked at me with anger. Anger? I asked myself. 

"I hate you." She whispered, and walked up to the cab. I stared after her.

I wasn't upset neither angry at myself. She's attracted to me but afraid of getting closer and it's completely fine with me. Even if this means I have to fight my way back to her each and every time I see her. 

I leaned against the brick wall, gasping for air, as I stared after the cab. I looked up at the sky and smiled like a fool. Regina Mills is getting me crazy but I love every minute of it.

I walked two more blocks before I called a cab. I needed to clear my head. I presume Booth won't be home before the morning, he always finds a sneaky little bitch to sleep with, so I get to be alone a lot. 

I arrive home and rip off my clothes, and put on only an oversized gray shirt and my red lace panties before I sat out on the balcony with my iPod and a box of ice cream. A few hours must passed and I was still all alone at home. I heard two strong knock on the door and rolled my eyes. Booth you idiot.

"I swear one more time you forget where you put your keys I will make you sleep in front of the door." I yelled before unlocking it and pulling it open.

My mouth dropped open when I saw a messy haired brunette looking at me. Her eyes were dark, burning with desire, and she pushed the door wide open, her lips brush mine. Not innocently, like a tease but hot, fiery, passionate and demanding. I want to pull away before I lose myself but I can't seem to. In this moment, my senses have been seduced and I can no longer think straight. I smile, my heart fluttering when I feel her hot breath brushing my face while she's gasping for air. I clasp my hands on either side of her face.

"Regina? What are you doing here?" I asked, pulling away, while she pushed the door closed, and forced me against it. 

"What the hell do you think Swan?" She groaned, and pushed me against the door, while kissing me hard. 

"I hate you too." I groaned, and this made her laugh, and then smile at me sweetly. She smiled with the bright smile I never imagined would be addressed to me. 

"Good. You should." She teased, and her hands dropped on my bare hips. She kissed me passionately, and she leaned in a little closer, our foreheads touching when she pulled just a bit away, so our lips could still brush against each others' as we gasped for air. 

"I'm so tired of you." I groaned again.

"I'm so annoyed with you." She replied with a chuckle. "Could you just shut up?" 

"Make me." I challenged and it didn't take half second before her soft lips were pushed against mine once more. 

I pushed her off, and held her hand as I lead her into my room. I hardly had a moment to react before she pressed her tongue to the seam of my lips and, at my grant of access, delved inside my mouth. My arms reached up and pushed my hand into her thich locks, bringing her face as close as possible. I could nearly feel the slight burn of the whiskey as she pushed her tongue against mine. 

With a laugh I turn her around, and push her torso against my dark wooden door. I keep one hand on her hips, while the other reached for the zip of her tight dress. Under her dress, she wears black lace, which looks so soft over her olive skin. Once her dress was removed, she took the control again, and pushed me toward the bed, letting me fall with a soft bounce on the mattress. We lock eyes for just a moment, just enough for us to feel safe with one another. Her eyes were full of desire, I could feel her warmth from a meter. She slowly lowered herself, completely pinning me down on my bed, as I felt her weight on top of me. I grinned as I felt her reaching under my shirt.

"Is this really happening?" I whispered against her soft lips. 

"Say one more word and it won't." She threatened and seeing my facial expression she laughed on her sexy raspy voice. 

I helped her pull of my shirt, and feeling my bare skin touching her made me feel tingles all over my body. She let out a soft chuckle when I gasped for air between two heated kisses. 

"Still hate me?" She whispered seductively into my ear.

"More than ever." I whispered back, and let her take the control completely out of my hands.

Here I am laying nearly naked under her, five hours after she said I'll never get into her panties. Good one Swan. I held back a laugh trying to delete the though from my mind before she notices and walks out on my door without a word.


	10. Chapter 10

I woke up feeling cold of the morning, as a light breeze came through the opened window and tingeled my naked skin. I reached out to see if Regina is still in bed, but I remembered feeling her warm body next to mine all night she made me feel so warm but now I'm freezing. I was sure she already left. I peeked at my alarm. 5 am? What the hell? I groaned, and got up, stretched my sore muscles, pulled yesterday's shirt over my head, and looked out on the window, finding my favorite city already alive under the 15's floor. I often forget how much life surrounds me. How many people, how many different stories, how much pain, how much love can be found between the broad roads of Chicago. 

"Tell anyone about yesterday, and I'll throw you out off that window." I heard a silky voice behind me, and as I turned around I saw the still messy haired Regina Mills, leaning on my door frame lazily. She wore one of my black tops, which matched her black lace penties perfectly, and when I realized that I couldn't be more obvious in admiring her, I looked back to the streets under me.

"I was told I can manage to climb back on the window for the thousand and one time." I shrugged, and smiled because I knew she couldn't see my face.

"Do you hear what I'm saying? Someone gets to know and, You. Emma. Swan. Are. Dead." She groaned, and came closer. I pulled her into my arm, and finally felt comfortable from her warmth. 

"You. Regina. Mills. Are. A. Beautiful. Disaster." I copied the way she talked to me. "Now tell me, did you make me breakfast in bed?" I smirked, before I placed a kiss on her delicate lips. She didn't react. My heart almost stopped beating for a minute. She pushed me off gently, and I could sense regret in her behavior. What did you think Swan?

She ignored my latest question, turned to the window, and looked out, raising her chin high, breathing in the scent of the morning. 

"Isn't it beautiful?" She whispered, looking at the rising sun. "Even when the world is drowning in grief and hardship, the sky remains beautiful." Her voice was so full of emotions. I only heard her talk like this about her son before and it made me wonder, why is she so passionate about the sunrise.

"What if it's gloomy?" I question, pushing my elbows next to her as I lean on the window's frame  too.

"It doesn't matter. Sometimes we don't get to see the big picture. But the sun is always there, remained vivid and powerful. And there's no cloud big enough to hide it from all of us." She whispered, not taking her eyes off the sky, as sunlight filled it slowly.  With breath paused in my lungs, I wish time would halt. Me and her, here in my room forever. Suddenly I felt awful about the night. Awful because I realised it was meaningful for me. Meaningful because now I don't ever want to let her go.

She slowly pushed away from the window and walked to the kitchen, swinging her hips. I bit my lips, looking after her and ran my hand through my hair, trying to look less like a mess. I followed her, and sat at the kitchen island and watched her turn on the coffee machine.  She totally messed up the whole process but I didn't say a word until she finished. I found it quite adorable how she struggled with using a simple machine.

"You know, I though a fancyass trauma surgeon would know how to make coffee." I teased, and got up to stop her from sipping from the disaster she just created. I took the mug from her hands and placed another mug under the machine. 

"I got this." I whispered, close into her ear. "What you made is called glop." I laughed.

She ignored my comment, and pushed herself up on the counter, sitting next to me. I swear she's teasing me.

"What's the frown for?" I asked when I looked up to her face. 

"Umm..Emma..." She started but this is all she said.

"Umm..Regina?" I mirrored her once again, while running my hands up on her bare tights, and standing in front of her. I wanted... no I needed to feel her warmth. I was freezing without her. 

"This... Night. Meant nothing to me. You have to know that. And it won't ever happen again." She breathed heavy while she talked, and she seemed frustrated, waiting for my answer. She gently pushed my hands off her, and jumped off the counter, probably realising she just triggered me to touch her.

"Why do you think it meant anything to me?" I chuckled, but I felt sour from my own words. I feel disgusted from this. I knew from the beginning she doesn't want me the way I crave her, but hearing it was just pure attraction, pure, meaningless sex, it hurt me. I've done one night stands before. Those didn't mean anything. This? It was more than I ever had with a woman.

"Good. I just wanted to make things clear." She nodded, but her eyes looked a bit faded.

"Did you regret it?" I asked in a casual tone, trying to approach without putting too much emotion into it.

She looked me in the eye, but looked away and shrugged, then walked to the kitchen island to sit on the bar chair I sat on before.

"It's not a sin to be attracted to someone Regina." I said, turning after her.

"I'm not attracted to you." She scoffed, and I couldn't hold back my laugh. 

"You're impossible." I said, and placed her coffee in front of her. "It's hot." I added, before I left her alone in the kitchen and stepped under a hot shower. 

When I finished, and I walked back to my room. My top was perfectly folded on the bed, and her dress was gone.

"Guess it meant nothing." I whispered annoyedly, and put on some clothes myself.

As the day passed I felt more and more lonely. I missed her warmth and the light she brought into the room when she entered. Her smartass comments, her lips forming the most perfectly pronounced words. I sound like a lovesick teenager but it's not love. I hate her. I hate her because I'm feeling used, but I'm still missing her. I layed on my bed, smelling her scent on my sheets. I groaned, turning and tossing around, not sure how to get the beautiful brunette out of my mind. She doesn't want me. That's crystal clear. But she was attracted to me, she ripped my shirt off like she was saving someone's life with it. I recalled the way her lips nibbled on my ear and my bare chest. The way she moaned into my ear when I pleased her. The way she grabbed my hair, pulling us into heated kisses, the way her body craved mine. The same way mine craved hers. She is a beautiful disaster who got me wrapped around her fingers, who got me addicted. I was drunk still from the memories of her touches, and all I wanted is to forget. To move on. It won't happen again. She regretted it. She regretted every moment of it. I repeated it for myself. 

I kept falling asleep, kept dreaming about her until my alarm went off at 5 pm. I groaned and put on my uniform, an knocked on Booth's door to wake him.

"Work won't wait until you get sober." I yelled and he opened the door with a huge grin on his face for my surprise.

He held up a little paper from our notepad which we keep in the kitchen to leave little messages for eachother.

Forget what happened last night.

I read the perfectly formed letters, then took it from him, and I crumpled the little note, while pushing it deep into my pocket.

"Every detail." August grinned. "Who's the bitch? And what did you do to the poor girl?" He couldn't stop grinning. This feels so humiliating.

"No one." I said emotionless. I just felt empty.  My feelings are mixed and I can't stop my brain right now. I let my emotions to take over me last night and it was a big mistake. "I'll see you at work." I say casually, and leave him behind. 

Fuck you Regina Mills.


	11. Chapter 11

The weird feeling of missing something filled my everydays in the past few weeks. It's been over a month since Regina Mills talked to me for more than five minutes. It's been a month since I felt her lips against mine. And now, I was left devastated. Defeated. Hurt.

She sensed the change in my behaviour and stopped teasing me, talking to me, she even avoided eye contact.

The moment she walked out on my door she left behind a gap. A gap just can't be filled by another, by work or distractions. I know it's my fault. I know it's my fault, ruining our already unstable relationship. Now I see what she meant all along. She can't go further then teasing. Flirting. Playing.  Now that she isn't here, I see it for myself, but unlike her I don't have the courage. Not to act on it. I can't just walk up to her and tell her it meant something to me. Not after a month of denying. Not after pretending for so long.

 

Some days I feel everything at once. Those are the days when I see her running around in the crowded hospital corridors. Other days, I feel nothing at all. Those are the days when I can manage to spend 30 dollars on whiskey. I don't know what's worse drowning beneath the waves or dying from the thirst.

The fire house's garage was opened today, letting the dry air of late summer into the space, filling it with the smell and noise of the city. I was alone. Breathing in the scent of the air. 

 

"What did she do to you Emma?" I heard Elsa's voice from behind.

"Who?" I asked back, and looked at her confused.

"When was the last time you told me anything?" She asked almost angrily, ignoring my question.

"Long time ago." I admit, and looked into her eyes for a moment. Worry took over her usually happy, sparky blue eyes.

"I miss my friend. Where is MY Emma?" She asked, and pulled me close, into a warm hug. 

"On summer holiday." I chuckle.

"Tell her it's time for duty." She joked, and let me go. 

Silence fell between us. I'm not sure how it happened but I grew apart from my best friend, and it was harder to find my way back then ever before.

"Emma... you can talk to me." She said softly. "I don't know what happened between you and Regina, but I can see it broke you." She whispered, and wrapped her arms around me once more. "Booth is worried too. He keeps repeating you hold something from him... Emma, he told me about the little note she wrote, after the night of your hearing." I swear my heart just stopped beating. 

"Els.."I pushed her off and called her name, but she stopped me.

"Shh. He doesn't know it's Regina. I figured it out by myself. I also presumed the reason you don't want him to know is more complicated than your pride."

"Yeah. More like fucking Mills's pride." I groan, and she gives me a sympathizing smile.

"She's trouble." She said softly, but I could see she understands me.

"She's the worst." I laugh dryly in embarrassment.

"What happened?" She asked softly.

"Uhm..." I started but my lips doesn't seem to form anything.

"Come on Em, you can tell me." She said, and took my right hand into her lap. 

"I.. went after her, found her in a bar not far, I went in to talk to her, and she tried to explain one more time why should I stay away from her. I didn't listen. And it was a huge mistake." I could hear my voice change, and being afraid of my own emotions taking over, I took a deep breath and continued. "It was weird and all bullshit, so when she left I followed her out, and found her waiting for her cab... I kissed her." I spluttered.

"Okay well that was... sudden. Did she kiss you back?" She asked. 

"Uhm. Yeah she was... very into it. More than I ever imagined." I wondered back to the moment when she pulled me close, burning in need for my lips.

"Okay, so after?" Elsa urged me to continue.

"She said she hated me, and got into the cab." I said, and breathed out slowly. It feels so nice to tell this to someone. 

"So how did the note got into your kitchen?" She asked.

"Um... I went home too. Few hours later she knocks on my door ready to rip off my clothes... Well I couldn't really resist, not like any human being would be able to... But.. We had... meaningless sex then she left in the morning leaving the note, that August found..." I explained, pushing the word meaningless in my sentence. 

"Meaningless to her. Meaningful for you?" She questioned raising her eyebrow but I could already see disbelief in the way she asked, so I decided to be truthful to her, and to myself. 

"I don't know Els... I really didn't mean anything of this to happen. I truly just wanted to get to know her, to finally have a normal friendship with her. I know her since I know you... It's been a long way and I thought that finally we are on good term. Then... I fucked up. I wasn't even aware of her being into women. Teasing is one thing but having sex is another." I tried to collect my thoughts. 

"She knocked on your door Emma." She said. "Not reverse. Don't say anything is your fault in this." She stroked my back softly.

"I lit the fire when I kissed her." I answered drily. "I missed my chance to get to know her." 

"Em, you could never be friends with her. That's the truth. You kissed her because it's impossible for you to be friends with her. You two are not supposed to be friends." She tried to explain it.

"Elsa, I'm not a bad person to be around... I might be an idiot sometimes, but I'm funny, self-sacrificing, good with kids, and loving. You know it well if I grow to love someone I protect them with my life." I said, all aware of my better characteristics.

"Emma. You are all of that but most importantly a HUGE idiot." She groans.

"Thanks for the talk Elsa." I get up angrily.

"She doesn't want to be around you because she can't be your friend. She likes you. And it scares her." She states, forcing me to stop and turn back to her.

"She likes me?" I asked sarcastically. 

"Gosh Emma are you blind?" She rolled her eyes, but smiled. "You two teased each other from the moment you entered that hospital. I knew her for longer, well not too well, but I know you were the only one she liked to tease. She's  good at her job and disgustingly aware of it. She's mean basically to everyone. She made comments on everyone, but you? You were different. She found ways to tease you by making comments if not on your work, then on your appearance. You always had her attention more than anyone."

"This is bullshit. She hated me from the beginning." I laughed, finding Elsa's way of thinking quite impossible.

"She never hated you Emma. She hates the fact she likes you. She hates that she's attracted to you." She said.

 

"So what do I do?" I questioned my friend annoyedly.

"Well first you have to decide what do you want? Do you want to be her friend? Or do you want her to be yours?" She questioned, and I shrugged.

"Emma she won't ever be able to be your friend. But if you want her to be your's make sure she knows you're an option. Because if she thinks all you want is to make friends with her, she won't ever act on her feelings."

"I don't think you're right." I state. "She doesn't want me that way."

"Oh, Emma. Did you feel this way when she kissed you back or when she ripped off your clothes?"

"No." I admitted. "But she made herself clear. She said it meant nothing for her."

"People lie." Elsa stated and the alarm went off. We smiled at each other.

"That was a pretty cool last line." I laughed, and pulled her off the ambulance to shut it's door, while listening for our destination.

"I know. I'm always cool." She winked. 

"Elsa I want us to to be the same again. To talk about more than... Me..." I stated and she smiled softly. "I missed you a lot lately." I added.

"I missed you too Swan." She smiled. "I'm glad you let me in." She added, and put on the sirens. 

"Let's go and save some lifes." I sighed with faked excitement.

"Idiot." She grinned at me, while I pushed on the gas pedal.

Ten minutes later we were putting a junkie into the ambulance. He felt sick, so we put him on the monitor, and Elsa started to question him about what he took but a few minutes passed, and he wasn't cooperative, denied to go to hospital, got up, and pushed us away as he wanted to get out of the car. He slipped on the edge and I catched my left arm for support, pulled it with himself, which caused me feel a shrewd pain rush through my arm, reaching my shoulder. 

I yank, and get off the car, holding my arm close my torso. The pain stays, and it's more than obvious I either strained or dislocated my shoulder, in the most lamest way history had seen.

"Em, you okay?" Elsa asked, and hopped off too, looking after the guy who started to run. 

"Probably a strained shoulder." I stated examining my own arm.

"Or a dislocation." She disagreed. "That asshole."

"Just leave him Elsa, put my shoulder back and let's get out of here." I asked her.

"We will have to x-ray it." She disagreed once more.

"Come on Elsa! You know how to put back a dislocated shoulder." I shake my head.

"I'm pretty sure a Dr. Mills is much better in it." She winked and shut the ambulance. "Get in the car." She ordered me, and hopped on the driver's seat. 

Two minutes later we parked at the hospital. The pain in my shoulder just increased, but I didn't want to get out of the car. An injury like this can send you warm the bench for weeks. But again, the pain was nearly unbearable at this point.  

"You need painkillers." Elsa said, when I hissed while getting out of the passenger's seat.

"Really." I rolled my eyes, and followed her inside.

"Hi. Is anyone free to check Emma's shoulder?" Elsa questioned  one of the nurses.

She pointed behind us, and Regina just walked out of an operating room with another doctor called Dr. Whale. I didn't know him, I've barely exchanged a few word with him through the year I spent in this hospital, but in this situation, I rather choose him over Regina to check my shoulder. I just can't face her. Not with mixed emotions. Not after what Elsa told me. 

She looked up, our eyes locked for a second, but she quickly looked away, and started to walk to the other direction alongside Dr. Whale.

"Ugh!" Elsa groaned. "Dr. Mills, Dr Whale!" She called after them. "Either of you is good, really." She said, so both of them stopped.

I walked after her but when I got there she already explained my situation.

"Dislocated shoulder, dear?" Regina asked, holding up her chin, and smiling. For some reason her weird superior behaviour didn't bother me this time. She rather sounded excited then pitiful or arrogant. "Come on, let's find a free x-ray." She suggested, and already led the way on the wide corridors.

"I'll see you." Elsa smiled, and kissed my cheek. "You can thank me later. Yes, I accept credit card." She whispered playfully, and I rolled my eyes at her.

"You are so dead." I groaned, and followed the brunette I've been craving to see all month.


	12. Chapter 12

"I can find someone else if you are busy."  I said politely, and let her lead the way down the corridors.

"Relax Swan, I'm free." She smiled back at me over her shoulder, and removed her hairband. Her dark locks fell carelessly on her shoulders, covering the white cape. I could smell her shampoo instantly, which sent me chills down my spine. I could still recall how amazing her hair smelled from close.

"Let's find a free x-ray." She suggested, and knocked on the first door, opening it only halfway to peek inside while leaning on the doorframe. I love how she walks around in this hospital like it was her own house.

"Dr. Mills." They greeted her from inside.

"I'll need the x-ray for a sec." She informed the woman coldy.

"Sure, come on in." She said politely, while Regina pushed the door wide open, and let me go in first.

"You can leave us alone, go get a coffee." Regina suggested, and she nod, leaving the room for only the two of us.

"What happened?" She inquired when the door was finally closed.

"It got dislocated." I scoffed.

"No joking." She rolled her eyes playfully.

"You've been avoiding me." I said suddenly, and I could see I got her off guards.

"Emma just let me take care of your shoulder and we will talk about it another time." She suggested. 

"Yeah, just check my shoulder and let's avoid the topic for another month." I smirked, cause I couldn't help making fun of her. 

I tried to take off my shirt, but she didn't watch me struggle for too long, before she walked behind me and helped to pull the sleeve over my shoulder. Her fingers brushed my skin a bit and I could feel it tingle on the places she touched me. Then I reached behind my back to open my bra, but I found it open.

"Here." She said softly, whispering into my ear. Her warmth would seep into my being every time our skin touched, and I could feel my muscles relax instantly. 

"I bet you couldn't wait until something like this happens to me so you can help me out of my clothes." I made a flirtatious comment. 

"I bet you couldn't wait until something like this happens to you so you can get me help you out of your clothes." She teased back, which made me smile. I missed this. I missed her so much.

She did the x-ray, confirming I have dislocated my shoulder, and guided me into her office.

She gave me painkillers and we waited for a bit in silence until the pain ease in my shoulder.

She clicked, and typed something on her computer, more and more frustrated. She looked bothered. The clicking sound of the keyboard was louder and more aggressive after a while. I got up and walked up to her. 

"Give grace to that poor computer." I smiled, when her attention was taken from the screen and she rolled her eyes at me.

"You roll your eyes a lot Mills." I noticed and giggled.

"Sit down on that bed and shut up before I start the reduction right now." She threatened.

"Well that would hurt a lot." I agree, but instead of sitting back, I walked behind her, and reached for her shoulder with my good hand, starting to massage the place between her shoulder and neck. I smiled when she didn't say more, just melted into my touch. She sighed and sat back in the chair, relaxing.

"Looks like I'm not that bad company after all." I whisper. "You can stop avoiding me." I smile, but surprisingly, she stood up and shook her head.

"I'm okay with acting like it didn't happen. You were the one who changed." She said, anger building up in her.

"What didn't happen?" I grinned, and seeing it ease her mood, I stick with the lie. It didn't happen... 

"Emma, you're the worst liar." She groaned.

"At least I try." I shrug, but sadness takes over me because I can't be honest with her.

"Look, I won't lie this time. I am attracted to you. But I don't want anything more then that." She stated. "Ever." She made herself clear.

"Wait, you're attracted to me?" I laugh. "Oh hell, I'd never guessed." I tease.

"You are annoying." She grinned, and pushed me towards the bed. "Maybe I should start it now." She flashed her evil smile I loved so much.

"You do realise you're a turn on when you smile like that?" I smirked.

"Let's start now." She suggested, and reached for my arm, but I pulled away. Her face was dangerously close to mine, and she didn't pull away, instead she locked eyes with me, and I could feel my heart pounding against my sternum.

No words are spoken but a story worthy is communicated only by looking into each other's eyes. I didn't want to hurry this time, I just leaned in, and pecked her tender, smooth lips softly. She didn't pull away, and didn't kiss me back, but when I disconnected our lips, she grabbed my neck and brought my face back to her,  and her lips brush mine, not soft and gentle like I did, but with force. Tasting my lips, passionate and demanding. I smile into the kiss, when I felt the world fell away, forgetting about my pain from feeling her warm lips against mine. God I missed these thick lips fighting for dominance. I pulled away just for a moment to to catch my breath.

"Emma." she whispers slowly, prolonging each letter as if to savor them. I smile, my heart fluttering at her voice. Maybe Elsa is right. Maybe she's really just afraid to accept her feelings. Maybe she really does like me.

The next thing I knew, she had slammed her lips to mine and nearly knocked all wind from my lungs. She pushed me hard against the wall behind me, and I hiss when I feel my injured shoulder slam into the wall. She pulls away immediately, and fear filled her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Emma. Are you okay?" She asks, placing a hand on my upper arm. "I'm such a moron." She says, not taking her eyes off my arm.

"Shh." I smile. "Just... slow down okay?" I ask, and lean in once more.

Her smile froze when I reached to cup her face, to bring her back into another kiss. She pushed my hand away, and stepped back. 

"I think you're well enough to start the reduction." She stated, and her dark eyes were shady again. I can't believe how much her mood changes in seconds. 

I nod, and sat straight without another word addressed to her. This woman's going to be my death.

She started to rotate my arm back into place, but it hurt like hell, and it took a few minutes until it was back completely.

"I'm proud of my work." She winked when she finished paperwork, but I was still breathing heavy from pain.

"Yeah. Next time I will find a orthopaedic. They are less cruel." I groaned.

"Hey! I did the work perfectly." She protested, and smiled, while handing over my papers.

"Six weeks?" I groaned. "What the hell I supposed to do for six weeks without work?" I asked after reading my paper.

"It could be more." She shrugged emotionless.

"Most functions come back after two." I disagree. "You're just evil." I groaned.

"You like me evil." She smirked. "Next time, just thank me." She suggested lowering her voice to the raspy one I love so much.

"I hate you." I groan. 

"I hate you too." She sighed, but this time I discovered more disappointment in her voice then playfullness.

"Good. You should." I answered the same way she answered to me a month ago. 

If this is really that hard for her I will give her time. I just don't know how to tell her. It's a good start she even talks to me again.

"Regina, I just want you to know... I don't want to push you into anything. But we have something here. We always had. And if you are not ready to take this seriously, I won't push you into anything. I just need to know what You want, cause I tried thousands of times, but I just can't seem to see what's going on in the mind of yours." I say softly, and she looks like a scared puppy.

"Emma, I'm good with what we have, I don't need and I can't have more." She breathed out slowly.

"Regina, I have no idea what do we have here." I motion between us. "Is this just two people attracted to each other? That's all we have? Really?" I asked.

"It can't be more." She said, holding up her chin. "I'll see you in six weeks." She added. 

"See you in six weeks." I said, trying to hide the disappointment in my voice with mixed feelings, and left her alone in her office.

Another six weeks without her...


	13. Chapter 13

Days passed dangerously slow at home doing nothing. I spent the days sleeping, the nights sitting on the balcony, eating fast food and listening music. There was something calming about the night, and staying up until sunrise. It always made me remember how Regina described it, and finally I could see what she was so passionate about. Sunrise is a new start. A second chance every day given to us. Something that it's worth to get up for. Something that teaches us to move forward, and to not let anything take us down. I think she had long sleepless nights as well when she lost Robin. That's when she got so passionate about the start of a new day. That's when she had to learn how to give life a second chance for the sake of Henry, and for herself. 

 A week passed like this, and I couldn't stay inside for longer. I had to get out and I had to get back to the field. My injury was only halfway heald, still painful, but I knew I could help out somewhere, so I spent the second week, cooking at the Fire House, hanging out with the others. Trying to get back to my normal. They saw how bored I am so they started to ask me to do some favors like go and get the kids from school, walk them home, or like go, take the reports to the hospitals. 

This is how I ended up walking in my red leather jacket and black skinny jeans towards the hospital, hoping I'd find Regina there, hoping I wouldn't miss seeing her.

I walked in and saw her raging, yelling at some poor idiot who got into the queen's way. I shook my head grinning like an idiot and walked closer.

"Hey." I greeted the nurses at the desk quietly, trying not to gain any attention from the brunette, as I placed the reports on the desk. "Reports from the Fire House." They nod, and took it. I turned around, leaning on the desk, watching the scene between Regina and the other doctor.

"You don't run this hospital!" The guy groaned annoyedly.

"I don't! You're right. But neither do you!" She raged, and I smiled widely. This woman has a temper which can turn into wild sex of a huge fight, but either, I find it amusingly sexy.

"Back off lady." He scoffed, and pushed her out of his way. 

"Dr. Mills." One of the nurses called her name, and I could see what's coming on this poor woman.

"Not now!" She raged, looking at the nurse standing next to me. 

Her eyes fell on me, and the burning rage ease in them, melting into the usual chocolate color.

"Emma Swan. What the hell are you doing here?" She questioned me, but she was rather surprised then angry. "I said no work for six weeks." She raised an eyebrow.

"Regina Mills. Do I look like I'm working?" I asked, pointing at my civil clothes. "I came to drop off some papers, but if you're free, could you check on my shoulder? Pain is kind of constant, and it should have eased by now." I lie, and she nods.

"Come." She orders. 

"But Dr. Mills!" The nurse tries again.

"I said not now!" She groaned, and led the way. I looked at the poor nurse and smiled at her slightly. I can't even imagine work with Regina every day. She's so bossy.

She opened her office, and walked in first. I closed the door behind me, and smiled at her when she turned around.

 "Sit." She ordered.

I smirked and didn't move. 

"What? I thought you want me to check your shoulder. My time is way too precious to waste Swan." She groaned.

"You need to relax, okay?" I smile softly, and walk closer to her. She takes a step back, and shakes her head.

"Get out Swan. I have real patients waiting." She said, and pushed me towards the door, but I stopped, not letting her to throw me out like that.

"Regina, look at me." I say, and she raises her chin, looking into my eyes. "Take a deep breath." I order.

Instead of taking a breath she holds the air in, and I could see her jaw clench.

"Fine, then just don't." I laugh at her stubbornness, and take her hand into mine, bringin it to my lips. I kiss her palm, then her wrist, but unexpectedly, her hand drifted to my jacket. She inhaled sharply, and she closed the gap between us before I could go further, pulling me into her. I love how much energy she puts into a kiss, she never kisses slow she wants it all at once. 

When she kissed me, my brain lit on fire and the warmth spread throughout my entire body. I got addicted to her way too fast, and I couldn't bare not to be with her. Her kisses were sweet torture, that I couldn't get out of my mind. Must she be so perfect? 

 

I wrapped my hands around her waist, while she cupped my face with both hands. When we broke apart for air, I rested my forehead against hers and gathered some much needed oxygen. Her smirk told me everything and I smiled back. 

"You just can't stay away from me Miss Swan. Can you?" She husked, and pushed me against the closed door. Carefully this time, paying attention to not to hurt my shoulder.

"Do you want me to stay away really?" I groaned in need for her lips connect with mine once again.

"No." She mumbled, and I could feel her sweet lips brush mine. 

The swirls of emotion I saw in her eyes made me gasp. Lust and desire. She yanked me to her and covered my mouth with hers in a hungry kiss.  It was magic, the way her lips danced on mine. I held her close, and I opened my mouth with a low moan allowing access to our tongues to connect. 

She leaned down and softly kissed the tender area at the base of my neck. I could feel her warm tongue leave wet spots over my neck, and I must have smiled like a fool while gasping from pleasure cause she stopped and flashed an evil smile.

 

"Wipe that grin off Swan or I'll stop." She threatened, but it just made me giggle. She has all the power over me, and I don't mind, I'd give everything to be able to call her mine.

"You don't think I'm serious?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh I know you are. You left me hang with desire too many times already." I husk against her lips, and slowly kiss her jawline down until her collar.

"Are you saying I'm not enough?" She questioned again, with the same look on her face. She made me laugh. Not enough? You are way much more than a human being can imagine.

"Who could get enough of you?" I smirked.

"Good point. I'm perfect." She laughed, and pecked my lips one more time.

"That you are Dr. Mills." I agreed softly. 

Two knocks were heard behind me, and I jumped on the bed immediately, while Regina stepped away from me.

"Thank you Dr. Mills." I smile at her when another doctor opens the door. 

"No problem Miss Swan. See you in a few days for another chackup." She said with a professional smile, and turned to the doctor, while I left her office smiling like a fool. 

-What happened to the 6 weeks?- I texted her, when I got home. It took her four hours to reply, when I was already half asleep. 

-Your shoulder is not recovering too good, best if I keep an eye on it.-

 I read her reply and suddenly I was wide awake. I chuckled. 

-Tell me if I'm wrong but I believe last time you saw me, my lips captured your attention more than my injured shoulder.- I smiled, waiting for her reply, that never arrived. She must have fallen asleep, but she left me wide awake, and confused once again.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 

Few days passed without one word exchanged between Regina and I, and I started to think she's avoiding me again. I kept looking at our messages, waiting for the reply that never arrived. My eyes flashed between her name on top and the last message I sent. I can't believe I fell into her trap again. She's playing a dangerous game with me and I guardless. 

I groaned from annoyance, and decided to leave my phone, and start to prepare to go out with Ruby and Elsa. I dropped my phone on my bed carelessly, and walked to the bathroom, washing my face, then applying some eyeliner and mascara. I was never one of those kind of girls who spent hours with getting ready, so I was out in a minute. My eyes catched a small light on my bed, as I entered my dark room, and I grabbed my phone, checking if I got any messages. 

 

My heart skipped a beat when I saw Regina's name with bold letters. I wondered if I should open the message right away, or wait, but soon I got another, and I couldn't wait longer. 

I need a ride Swan. -I read.

Can you pick me up at the hospital?- She asked, and I found myself smiling like a fool.

I think you said I'm not a taxi driver.- I texted back immediately, knowing this message will make her roll her eyes in annoyance. I love how flirting is so God damn easy with her.

Get your ass over here Swan. -She ordered me. 

Call a cab Mills.- I responded, but I pulled my white tank top over my head, changing into black T-shirt, and skinny jeans knowing if she wouldn't want to see me, she'd just call a cab.

Five minutes later I found myself speeding towards the hospital in the darkness of the night. I parked in front of emergency exit, taking care not to block the way of ambulance cars.

She waited in front of the entrance, in her small black denim jacket, and a red dress that hugged her curves at the most perfect places. I chuckled as I opened my car's door, looking over the beautiful brunette.

"Next time just tell me we're going on a date." I winked, and stepped next to her. She chuckled but there was something about her smile that showed sadness. She tacked a lock of her hair behind her ear. She never does that, except if she's feeling a bit nervous.

"My car is at the garage." She explained herself, and I smiled widely, knowing I have the power over the situacion. "Besides, you're too easy to make a fool of." She laughed, and walked down the pavement towards my car. Here, I lost the control already.

"You can forget my ride." I groan, and walk after her. 

She stops immediately, turning to face me. She smiles seductively, and takes a step closer to me.

"What if I say Henry is staying at my sister's tonight, and I might have a glass of my famous apple cider for my favorite 'absolutely not taxi driver'?" She asks, and I can't hold back to soft chuckle. 

"You won't get me drive you home anytime you need a ride." I walk around her, and open the door for her.

"Only this time?" She smiles softly, and gives a kiss on my cheek as she gets into my car.

I walk around my car, and hop on the driver's seat.

"How good is that cider?" I groan, before I start the car.

"The best." She husks sexily, and leans in to kiss the corner of my lips. My lips curl into a smile, and try to lean in for a real kiss, but she pulls away, and smirks.

"Seriously?" I groan, and she laughs sweetly. She's smiling a lot but something is up, I can sense it, she's sad.

"Drive me home Swan." She orders in a dry tone that will drive me crazy one day.

"Where's home?" I sigh, and start the car. 

"Forest Glen." She replies, smiling in front of herself, when my mouth hang open.

"You're kidding me." I state and laugh, but start my car and drive towards my destination. 

She's beautiful, smart, successful, a good mother, and rich as well?

Half an hour later I parked my car in front of a house that reminded me of my first foster home. I spent the good part of my childhood there alongside 4 other foster kids I barely remember anymore. I often try to recall their names and faces, but it's all blurred somehow. I looked up at the tall white house with porches at the front, while Regina searched for her keys.

 

She walked up the stairs and opened the front door. I stood nervously behind her, waiting for permission to go in. She smiled over her shoulder, sensing my tenseness, and walked in first, holding the door for me.

I looked around carefully, taking attention to every detail. The front door opened to a hall, which lead to a huge opened space, probably the dining area and the living room. The walls were mainly white and blank. No pictures, no decoration. I have no idea how I imagined her house, but I guess I just thought it would me more vivid. More full of life. I mean, Regina is so full of passion, I thought she'd hang at least some pictures of her family. Henry's shoes layed next to the door all mixed which made me smile, just imagining how Regina orders him to put them in order. Henry might got more characteristics from his father, then Regina cause I can't recall one time when she or her work wasn't all neat and perfect.

"Is it how you imagined?" She asked with a soft chuckle, while I hang my red leather jacket, and took my shoes off.

"Who said I've ever imagined your house?" I smirked, and I could see the smile forming on her face as well.

"Yeah right, you only imagined my bed." She groaned, and took off her shoes. I followed her lead to the living room and we settled on the couch, facing each other. Her red dress just glowed on the gray couch, and I smiled how comfortable she is with clothing like this. She never looks less than fabolous.

She poured a glass of cider, and placed it in front of me on the coffee table. Then she poured one for herself as well, holding to her red lips immediately, while crossing her legs. I feel like she's teasing me with each and every move she takes.

"So, how do you like it?" She inquired, taking a long sip from her cider, leaving a bit of her red lipstick on the glass.

"It's amazing." I admit, after lifting the glass to my lips and tasting the sweet liquor.

"Told you." She chuckled, and her smile was priceless. Her huge, toothy grin that showed true happiness. But her eyes soon wondered away, and her smile faded.

"So, why are we here?" I asked, not to be rude, just from pure curiousness. What changed so quickly?

"I thought you wouldn't mind talking a bit in private." She shrugged innocently.

"Talk?" I chuckled. "Regina, you don't do talk." I say, and she smiles guiltyly.

"I know. I guess I don't." She laughs. "But I'd like to hear about you. Tell me about yourself." She asked softly, then took another long sip from her drink while I watched her carefully, trying to read her. 

"You want to get to know me?" I asked back, uncertain about her behaviour.

"I should. If we keep doing... what we're doing." She says.

"What are we doing?" I asked back one more time, sitting an inch closer to her. 

"You know exactly what are we doing." She groaned, and I could sense something is wrong this time. It wasn't her typical 'I'm annoyed with you' groan.

"Tell me about yourself?" She asked once more, and I chuckled softly.

"Anything for you." I sighed.

"So, where did you grow up? Have you got any siblings?" She asked, and layed her back against the armrest, lifting both of her legs into my lap comfortably.

"I grew up here, in Chicago, being tossed around between several different foster families. I have no siblings. I'm kind of a loner I guess." I said. "What about you? Where did you grow up?" I asked back.

"I got to move around a lot because of my parent's jobs. I was born in California, then we moved to Brooklyn when I was about Henry's age, that's where I spent most of my childhood. We spent a few years in Washington, one in London, and two in Paris. Then we finally settled in a tiny town not too far from here. Then of course I spent a few years in Boston because of university."

"Harvard?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow almost in disbelief. 

"My parents were quite strict about the future they imagined for me." She stated, with no emotions showing on her face.

"I presumed." I smiled. 

"So you've never left Illinois?" She questioned.

"I've never left Chicago." I admit with a sad smile. She breathes in slowly, and I close my eyes for a second. How did I even think she'd like me? "Welcome to my tiny world." I say, and force a smile on my face.

"Welcome to mine." She answers softly, sadness completely taking over her face.

"Regina... Is everything okay? You are different. Calling me for a ride, taking me to your place, talking? And... to be honest I can sense you're sad about something." I ask, while she removes her legs from my lap, and tucks them under herself.

"It's fine if you would like to continue in my bedroom." She shrugs, with a sad chuckle.

"I don't. I mean, you know me." I chuckle softly, which makes her smile for a brief second. "But I can sense something is off and I'm here if you'd like to talk about it." I say softly.

"I just had a bad day." She shrugs. "Henry isn't home, and I just wanted... needed company." She added, avoiding eye contact. 

"Well I'm glad you texted me." I smile, and reach for her hand, to comfort her at least with a bit with a friendly touch. "So... Would you like to talk about it?" I ask softly, and she closes her eyes, shaking her head. "It's okay. I understand. We all have those days." I whisper and give a kiss on her cheek, before bringing her into a hug.

"I..." She breathed out slowly. I could feel the little puff of air on my skin as she buried her face into my neck. We stayed like that for a few second, then she pushed me away gently, and drank the rest of her cider all at once.

"Woah Regina just... slow down." I say, when she reached for the bottle to pour some more cider into her glass.

She poured her second glass anyway, and took another sip before she laid her back against the sofa, staring in front of herself.

"She was just five." She stated, and my eyes closed for a second. I know what's coming. "Her father was drunk. He got away with a few scratches, but I couldn't save her." She explained, and kept her eyes closed. "I fought for her life for four hours and at the end I couldn't do a thing Emma..." She said, anger burning her eyes while she tried to fight her tears.

I know how she feels now. It's unfair. Heartbreaking. She's thinking what else could she do to save her? What if she was quicker? Did she really take attention to everything? Did she do everything correctly? I sat closer to her, so our shoulders could touch, and I reached for her.

"You did your best." I state, bringing her hand to my lips for a quick kiss. She smiles, but her eyes are faded, and full of tears.

I could hear she's breathing in sharply.

"I hate how small I feel time to time." She says. "Like it doesn't matter how much I do, I won't ever be able to make a difference."

"You can't save everyone Gi.. Regina." I say softly, and turn to face her.

"He used to call me Gina." She explained, inhaling deeply, then looking into my eyes, as a tear left the corner of her eyes, and ran down her left cheek.

"I'm sorry. I won't call you that again." I say, closing my eyes, hoping I didn't ruin it again, and she won't kick me out, just after making some sort of progress in getting to know eachother better.

She reaches for her glass and dranks all of her cider in it one more time.

"Regina, I don't think getting drunk will help." I say, and grab the bottle to put it on the other side of the table so she couldn't reach it.

She breaths in, and out slowly, locking eyes with me. Her beautiful chocolate eyes are full of pain. I hate to see her so sad. But I could also see longing which was probably caused by her strong cider. Her eyes glanced on my lips several times. We weren't that close but I could feel the tension, and I have no idea what are we waiting for. I smile when I realize she's waiting for me to make the first move. She cleared her throat and wiped off her tears. 

I smile at her widely knowing she wanted me here for comfort. I looked down, and she must moved fast because before I knew it her lips were firmly pressed against mine, as she had both of her hands cupping my face. It was different this time. It wasn't just attraction. It was full of emotions, she probably held back before. Maybe I finally broke down one of her walls. In a second she pushed me down on the couch, pressing her body to my front, pinning me down. I could still feel the wet tears on her cheeks, and it broke my heart. I let her warm tongue slip into my mouth without even thinking, and I let out a soft moan as her tongue connected with mine.

 

I run my right hand through her thick, raven locks, while my left hand wonders down her side, to her hips, then back on her back. I could never get enough of her perfect body. 

She stopped kissing me, and stood up, holding out her hand, to help me up. 

"Are you sure?" I whispered, closing the gap between us, our lips brushing. "I don't want to..." I started, but she cuts me off with a needy kiss.

"I need this Emma." She whispers back, and rests her forehead against mine for a second, before she pulls me towards the stairs.


	15. Chapter 15

I woke up early, as the first morning lights hit my face. I opened my eyes, and scanned the room. I didn't really have time to look around last night, and I wasn't surprised when I couldn't find any personal items lying around in this room either. She keeps her house look like it's a god damn hotel, and from one side it amazes me, on the other, it creeps me out.

The messy haired woman was still sticked to my side, just like she was all night. I couldn't sleep a lot, but I wasn't tired. I looked over her beautiful flawless skin, as the lights danced over her whole body and smiled, from true happiness, but my smile faded as realization hit my mind. I follow this woman around like a lost little puppy and all she wants is to fuck and some flirtatious comments. I recalled our conversation about ourselves, and it breaks my heart knowing how different places we came from. She won't ever see me as a partner. She will always want to control me, and it started fire in my mind. What if I won't ever get to know her better? What if I am only here for sex? What if she doesn't care like I do?

I slowly removed her arm from me, that was wrapped around my waist, and sat up in bed, then pulled my shirt over my head. I can't believe I let this happen again and again. Sex with her is amazing. But will this be enough for me? Do I really want this trouble? 

"Emma.." I heard her raspy voice from behind, and I smiled over my shoulder when I heard her pulling the silky sheets over her body.

"Good morning." I smiled softly, and turned to her. 

"What time is it?" She inquired, reaching for her phone on the nightstand.

"Early." I replied with a soft chuckle. "You should rest a bit more." I smile, and lean to peck her lips for a second.

"Are you going?" She asks, closing her eyes for a few second, stretching in the bed like a cat.

"I should." I smile down at her. "You're adorable when you're nice you know that?" I notice, and smile goofily at her.

"What am I when I'm not nice?" She asks back, raising an eyebrow. 

"Smoking hot." I laugh, and she lets out a relieved sigh.

"Good girl." She whispers, and sits up quickly, grabbing my arms, pulling me with her. 

"Why are you so insatiable?" I smile down, when she pushed her lips firmly against mine.

"Do you really have anything to complain about Miss Swan?" She questioned, and placed another soft kiss on my lips.

"Not at all." I whisper against her lips.

"You can stay, my shift is from 6 pm, and Henry will only arrive home around 3." She explains.

"Oh I see. Someone should keep you company." I reply smiling down at the beautiful brunette.

"I wouldn't mind at all." She grins. 

She's just using you! I heard a voice in my head and I couldn't resist saying it out loud.

"Regina, are you using me?" I question, leaving her guardless. Her facial expressions changed, first confusion, then anger took over her.

"I thought we agreed on not taking this further than having fun." She replied, and sat up frustratedly in the bed.

"I know. And anytime you need me I'm here." I whisper desperately in need for her to say this relationship is more than what she admits.

"But it's not enough for you. Is it?" She questioned.

"It's just... I think you're wrong thinking this is all what we could have. Don't freak out, I'm not saying I'm not happy with what we have, cause sex is just..."I start and finish with a goofy grin.

"Look I think I let you knew at the beginning what you're getting into, so you have no right to complain." She disagreed, and crossed her arms while resting her back against the wall. 

"I'm not complaining..." I start.

"Good." She interrupts. "Then, we shall return to..." She smiles, and leans in to kiss me. If only her kisses weren't that narcotic sweet...

"I need to go to the bathroom." I say, and leave her confused.

I only needed an excuse to be away from her for just a few seconds until I collect my thoughts. 

"You can do this Swan. No emotions included. You did this a thousand times with other women, she's not different. Just don't get too attached to her and you'll be fine." I whispered looking into the mirror. "And I just gave a pep talk to myself, looking into the mirror. Am I getting crazy?" I questioned on my weakest voice.

I opened the door, and I found my favorite doctor laying on the bed, facing the bathroom door. Completely naked, uncovered, pure, ready for me to take her. She smiled at me, and beckoned me towards her seductively biting her thick lips. I can't believe this is happening over again.

~~~

A few weeks passed like this. I sneaked into her office time to time, we made out, said goodbye, and when I got a text from her I just jumped into my car and drove to hers. I often felt like a slut, but I knew she never wanted to make me feel like one. The moments we shared sometimes, soft touches, quick goodbye kisses, sweet whispers kept me going cause deep down I knew she would be able to feel more for me. She might won't ever admit it, but with each kiss we shared I felt her need for me. Not just my body, but for my mind as well. She often asked me about my past, and slowly, she managed to get to know me. She broke down my walls, and she became my drug. I knew soon I'd give her every inch of me. Every little piece of my heart. I got so drunk on her I couldn't stop anymore. I knew I'd lose my mind without her. I was like a bad junkie, in constant, desperate need for my next dose.

As soon as I got back to work it got a tiny bit easier, cause I had less time thinking about her, but I still often found myself daydreaming about how her silky hair brushed my skin when she kissed her way down on my body, or when her eyes glowed in the dark from desire. I felt like I knew Regina Mills, but truth hit me time to time, and I had to realize I barely know anything about her, while she knows almost almost everything about my life. 

Elsa kept asking me about her but I kept my mouth shut, saying nothing happened. Unfortunately Elsa was one of those who could read me like a book, and she gave me disapproving glances all the time when I excused myself, going after Regina at the hospital. I'm not sure I was that obvious, or she just knows me like a sister, but she definitely wasn't happy about the thing between Regina and I and she made herself clear several times, even though I didn't admit a thing.

"Stop staring at her, Ms. Obvious." Elsa warned me, and grabbed my arm, turning me around with force, so I wouldn't be able to watch Regina talking to a nurse.

"Just give me a sec." I say, and push her hand away, not even looking at my blonde friend, just walking towards Regina. She glances at me, and excuses herself immediately.

She doesn't even take the time to pretend we just ran into each other again, to exchange a few words, she just walks towards her office, and when the door was closed behind me she forced me against it, and kissed me with all her need.

"Someone missed me." I chuckle.

"It's been a week." She groans.

"Long time huh?" I whisper against her silky lips, and I could sense she can't wait to rip my clothes off, and she is an inch away from doing me right here in her office.

"See you tomorrow after I drop Henry off at school?" She whispers, hope filling her dark eyes.

"I'll be waiting for you." I whisper back and peck her lips. Her thick, red lips dance with mine for a second before someone knocked on the metal door behind me, and I stepped away from Regina.

"Dr. Mills. I'm sorry for disturbing, I presumed you were alone, since you have no patients waiting." Dr. Whale smiled, and closed the door behind him. 

"Just a late check on Miss Swan's shoulder." Regina explained, and I was so thankful for her awareness cause I'm still drunk from her kisses, staring like a dumb teenager.

"Oh right! Back to work? Is it back to normal?" He asked, glancing on my shoulder, like it would just start talking to him.

"Everything is back to normal." I smile at him. "Dr. Mills insisted to check it one more time, just to make sure I'm truly ready to be back full time." I explain, lying like a cheap watch.

"Well, she's never doing half job, am I right Darling?" He smiled at her and I could discover longing in his eyes which made me feel sick in the stomach. That man has no right to look at her like that, God forbid lay a hand on her. This situation is just getting awkward, and I quickly realise it's time for me to excuse myself.

"That's right." Regina chuckled, giving a toothy grin to the other doctor. What's with the smile? She can't seriously like this man! 

"Well, time for me to get back to work." I say, and take a step towards the door, uneasy, hurt by the fact I have to leave them alone.

"Have a nice day Miss Swan." He replied, and smiled over his shoulder, waiting for me to close the door behind me. I looked at Regina one more time before closing the door, and she gave me a quick sad smile. 

Dr. Whale is totally into Regina. I took a mental note for myself, making sure I try to keep him away from her in the future. I can't let her start dating others, while we clearly have a thing.

I finished the rest of the shift with barely a world addressed to anyone, and headed home right after. Booth made dinner, but I didn't feel hungry. With every minute passed I felt more sick from the thought of Dr Whale and Regina being alone in her office. I had my phone in my hands, turning it around again and again, playing with it, trying to calm my nerves. 

"What's up Swan? You're so off lately." Booth says, and sits next to me on the balcony lighting a cigarette, then handing it over for me to take a drag. I shook my head, refusing his offer.

"Don't you have enough smoke at work?" I chuckle.

"Not any house fires taste like menthol." He smirks, and takes another drag. "Seriously Swan, what's up?"He asked gently.

"I... Might got myself into a very toxic relationship."

"Wait? You have a girlfriend?" He asked in disbelief. "Why I haven't heard of this yet?"

"It's embarrassing." I breath out slowly. "She's not my girlfriend, we are not dating at all." I explain.

"So... You're just having sex." He figured it out.

"Exactly." I close my eyes, and cover my face.

"Is she hot?" He questions with a goofy grin.

"She's perfect. But don't be all happy about this cause this is slowly killing me. And now, I'm pretty sure she has an admirer. I feel like I can't do anything about people who are trying to flirt with her cause I can't even say: 'Hey, hands off, she's mine.'" I groan. "Cause she's just simply not mine." I add quietly and shrug my shoulders. "This is frustrating." I groan one more time and August chuckles.

"Do you know what you need Emma?" He smiles again. "A glass of good, old whiskey and a beautiful girl, lapdancing for you." He smiled, closely watching my reaction.

"Can you please stop with the stript club thing?" I laugh into the silence of the night.

"I swear I'll take you to a striptclub one day." He grins, and offers the last drag of his cigarette. I annoyedly take it from his hand, and take two little drags from it before stumping it, breathing the scent of menthol and smoke deep into my lungs. I find myself struggling with coughing but I hold it back, and clear my throat.

"My advice is. Tell her how you feel before it's too late and you find her in someone else's arms. Believe me, I'm talking from experience." He says, and leaves me behind, entering his room.

"What do I do with you?" I whisper to myself, while opening our messages.

Before I knew it, I hit the send button.

So... what's up with Whale? -I read back my message. Is this too desperate? Did I just make a bigger fool of myself then I already was?

Jealous much, Dear?-I read after a sharp ping of my phone.

Just making sure I'm still needed for tomorrow.- I reply, trying to keep it cool.

I'll let you know if our plans are cancelled.-She replied immediately. A sour feeling took over me.

She definitely wanted to make sure I know I'm only temporary until she find someone else, who can fit into her perfect little world. I might just won't ever be the right person for her and it broke my heart. I let out a small sigh, and I could feel tears forming in my eyes, and run down my cheeks. I shivered, not sure if it's from the pain I felt inside increasing with each second, or from the cold breeze of the late summer night, but I decided to call it a day. Soon I found myself tossing around sleepless in my soft bed. There's no way I will sleep tonight. Not without her by my side.


	16. Chapter 16

Regina's POV

The morning came sooner than I expected and I layed in my bed staring at the ceiling at 5 am without one minute of sleep. I considered texting her, saying that I'm sick, but I have to see her. I miss her whole being and when she's not around for days, it's get hard to just walk around with a smile on my face. How can you need someone with every inch of your body and soul, while your mind says the strict opposite?

I collected all the energy left in me, and took a shower, then made lunch for Henry. I wasn't really hungry so I decided to eat when Emma gets here. I walked to my son's room, and I sat next to him. He is so tiny in this huge bed, and looks so peaceful while sleeping. He's a smart boy, smarter than most at his age. He loves being at school but he doesn't have a lot of friends, so I was so happy when Emma introduced Ryan to him on the barbeque,  because since then they are basically inseparable from one other.

"Baby boy." I whisper, and my precious boy opens his eyes slowly, smiling at me immediately. "Good morning." I smile down at him, when he pulls the sheets over his head.

"I don't want to get up Mommy." He giggles.

"Is that so?" I laugh, and reach under the sheets to tickle him. I know this will get him out of bed in a second.

He screams unbelievably high when my fingers reach his side and start to tickle him. 

"Stop Mommy! Stop." He screams, and lughes, struggling with pushing my hands away.

"Will you get up?" I smile, but don't stop with the tickling.

"I will! I will!" He laughs.

"Good." I smile, and bring him into my arms, hugging him close. 

"I love you Mommy. Mornings are so much fun with you." He whispers sweetly.

"I love you too my little prince." I whisper back, and kiss the top of his head. 

"I miss you a lot after school... Aunt Zelena is always busy, and Jessie is no fun." He says, crossing his little arms, pouting. I smile at my son, when he looks up. "Please don't tell Jessie I said that." He adds, and I burst out in laughter. It's adorable how much he cares about what his babysitter thinks of him.

"Mommy!" He groans.

"Okay okay! I won't tell. Don't worry." I smile, and I stand up, opening a drawer to pick his outfit for today.

He said he doesn't need help with dressing up because he's a grown up man, so I left him get ready.

An hour later I dropped my son off, waiting for him to enter the school. He was adorable. Every day, he looked back from the entrance, waving goodbye to me not caring about what others would think.

When I got home I turned on the radio in the kitchen, and started to prepare food for Emma and I. She was always hungry, and I found it adorable so I kept surprising her with breakfast when she came over, earning the goofiest, most adorable smile from her that kept my heart beating.

I didn't take attention to the music playing in the radio until Taylor Swift's I knew you were trouble hit my ears. I groaned from annoyance and pain just increased in my heart. I closed my eyes, and sat on the kitchen floor, my back against the counter, and my knees brought to my chest. How can you say no to your heart? I stayed like this, trying to clear my mind until I heard her car pulled on my driveway. I put on my mask, and get up from the floor. I can't let her see me like this.

"You're early Miss Swan." I noticed opening the door before she could even knock.

"Can't let a gorgeous lady wait." She replies with a smirk. She's wearing black skinny jeans and a loose flannel shirt. I've never imagined myself liking someone in flanel but she definitely rocked it. I smiled, as she stepped into my house.

"You seem a bit pale." I noticed, while she placed her shoes perfectly next to the others.

"Why do you care?" She asked and shrugged. Why do I care?! Of course I care! Are you blind? 

"What was that?" I asked back, because her facial expressions were unreadable this time.

"I didn't sleep a lot last night." She admits, while walking into my living room, sitting on the couch facing the huge windows that looked at the backyard, and pulling her knees to her chest.

"I do care. Idiot." I groaned, and sat close behind her on the couch, wrapping my arms around her stomach.

"You're idiot?" She asked. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes. You can't answer that Regina. My mind argued harshly with my heart. But I decided to just remain silent. 

"Nevermind." She said and it was heartbreakingly painful, when she chuckled like it really wouldn't matter.

"Tell me what's bothering you?" I questions quietly.

She sighed once more. I decided not to ask again, if she doesn't want to answer she doesn't have to. I leaned to her neck, and gave tiny, wet kisses, kissing my way down to her shoulder then rested my chin on it. I could imagine us from outside. If a stranger would see us right now, they would think we are the most adorable couple on the planet. Truth hurts sometimes...

"I...um.. I don't like Whale around you." She admits. Oh so it's all about Dr. Whale? That prick is just a suckup, no one likes him. I remove my chin from her shoulder, and I close my eyes as I realized what's coming on me. I took a deep breath and listened to my mind once again instead of my heart.

"That's just... not your business." I said. I couldn't see her face from behind but I really didn't want to. I know how much it breaks her when I'm pushing her away. 

She pushed my hands off, and sat a meter away from me.

I take my time, trying to read her face and I notice it's not sadness that takes over her but jealousy. Anger. I chuckle softly, and grin at the adorable blonde.

"What?" She questions, raising an eyebrow.

"You're cute when you are jealous." I smile.

"But I'm not allowed to be?" She ask sarcastically, and chuckle in disbelief. Well now, I got her disappointed.

"Is this what kept you up last night?" I asked softly, sitting closer to her.

"No."

Liar.

"You can tell the truth. I won't bite. Hard." I smile and lean closer to her teasingly. I wait for a few second and she avoids eye contact. She looks very tired so I talk without thinking. "Come on, you need to rest." I smile. "What do you say? Bubble bath, breakfast then a few hours of sleep?" I ask while grabbing her hand, pulling her up with me.

"Sleeping?" She asks back. "I thought I'm only for fun."

I ignore her comment, while my heart is literally just broke into tiny little pieces.

"I had lack of sleep too." I explained, and pulled her towards my bathroom.

My bathroom was enormous. I have a huge bathtub between the walls, right next to the window. The bathtub was raised a bit, stairs lead to it, which allowed a great spot to sit on. She took a deep breath, and sat on the stairs while I let a full tub of hot water. We didn't talk at all.  I stopped the water when the tub was full, and reached for her hand to pull her up. I gave a tiny kiss on her lips, but she didn't kiss me back. I can't lose her... Panic took over me, but I was a good actress, I smiled, and unbuttoned her shirt slowly, teasingly, knowing that she won't be able to resist when my fingers touch her bare chest. I know I give her mixed signs but I literally was in a battle with myself all night. I can't let her break my heart. 

"Get in Dear, I think it's perfect now."- I whisper, when all her clothes were removed.

"Will you join me?" She asks, hoping she'd get a positive answer. 

"No, but I will sit here by the tub."I smiled, and sat next to the bathtub, laying my back against the cold wall.

"Are you sure? It's quite nice here." She smiles, and plays with the bubble on top of he water, circling her hand around to even it perfectly.  
I reach to the bubbles, brushing my hand on top of the hot water, it really did feel nice, but I can't let her too close. 

"I'm sure dear." I assure and reach for a shower gel, my favorite honey and apple scented one.

"Hm. Now I'm going to smell like you." She smiles when I sit closer to her, and start to apply the shower gel on her back. "I love how you smell." She adds.

I love how you smell too. My heart yells but my mind is in control once again and I remain silent.

I could sense she relaxed under my touch, but she looked even more tired then before.

"You go and lay down in my room, I'll be up in a few mins, Im just going to make some toast and eggs for breakfast." I instructed her when she was out of the bathtub wrapped into a towel. 

"Yes. Your Majesty." She whispered into my ear, leaning into my personal space. 

"Be good Miss Swan." I replied with a smirk and disappeared into the kitchen. 

I don't know how long will I be able to resist this woman, but right now I can't help myself I have to feel again. It's been so long since I let myself live in the moment. In the past few weeks Emma and I spent a lot of time together. I like her. And I grew to admit it. I got to know a lot of things about her. She told me about her foster homes, Elsa and the others at the fire house. She told me how my house reminded her for her first foster home and my heart melted anytime she talked. She was smart and strong and beautiful. How can someone like her be into someone as broken as I am? Things slowly changed but one thing won't ever change. Anytime I'm getting near to feel something towards Emma, flashbacks attack me and I can't seem to get the voice out of my head. The voice of the fire department chief. How it broke when he knocked on my door in the middle of the night and told me we lost Robin. Emma's a strong woman, who  went through hell and back. She's the kind of girl who raises from the most darkest places. And she always does. But no one's immortal and I know that well from experience. There's no doctor who can save everyone. I will let myself feel today but I can't do this longer. I can't have her around knowing she can have the same fate like Robin had. I know it's not the same, she doesn't have to rush into burning houses every day, but there are cases when they have to take risks, and I can't handle that after Robin's death. I can't wake up each and every morning praying for my loved one to survive the day. I can't go through that again. I need to stop this before I fall for her. Before my heart takes the control, cause there's no way back from there. 

I walk to the kitchen and start to prepare food. Emma loves everything I make so I'm quite confident she'd like simple eggs with toast well.  
I'm about to take the eggs from the pan and place it on the plates when I feel strong arms wrap around my stomach, and wet lips attack my neck from behind. I jump a bit from surprise but soon I melt into her touch. I love when she surprises me.

"You scared me." I smile, and finish up our plates.

"Sorry." She blushes. "I couldn't wait longer." 

"Hungry?" I raise an eyebrow while she turns me around by my hips.

"Yes. For my Queen." She whispers against my lips.  
I take a look at her. She's wearing an old red shirt of mine, and her black panties only.  
I can feel blood rush into my cheeks so I decide to push her off before she notices and I turn back to finish preparing breakfast. She let out a sigh and sit at the table.

"It smells good." She compliments with a wide grin.

"It's just eggs Emma." I laugh, and sit.

She shrugs and starts to eat, humming after the first bite. I chuckle at the adorable blonde, and start my meal as well. 

"Want me to help you clean up?" She asked softly, when I placed our plates into the sink.

"Later." I smile, and grab her hand, guiding her to my room. 

I lay down, and she crawls right next to me, as close as she can.

"You're so warm." She whispers. 

"You're so cold." I chuckle. "You just spent forty minutes in a tub of hot water and you're still freezing." I notice, and turn to face her.

"I guess someone has to keep me warm." She winks and pulls me into a kiss. It was different this time. Slow. I could feel time stop around us. It wasn't a long kiss, not even a deep one. But I could feel all her emotions through it. Stop Regina! I hear my mind arguing with my heart again, and I pull away.

"Sleep Swan, we both need to rest." I whisper and she closes her eyes, obligating me.

A could feel her breathing change after a few minutes and I know she's asleep. Me on the other side, I couldn't rest. I sat up, facing my window, my feet are on the smooth carpet on the floor, and my elbows on my knees, while my hands are massaging my temple. I can't do this over again. At first this whole thing between me and her, it was about fun. We always had chemistry, and I couldn't resist after she kissed me. But now, things have changed. I got to know the blonde and she was growing to be a part of my life. A very important part... I need to find the way back from here.  
Even if it will break my heart. I can't fall for her. I can't go through that, and I can't put Henry through that again. I breath in deeply and start a plan in my head. Time passed quickly, and I realized I was sitting like this, thinking for over two hours. I could hear Emma mumble time to time, but mostly they were unformed, not understandable words.

"Gina." I heard this time almost clearly, and my eyes immediately shut close. My heart is racing and I could feel tears forming in my eyes. I stand up quickly like I just touched something hot. I can feel my muscles tense, and I need to take a few deep  breath to control my emotions. 

I won't do this anymore. I can't. This was the last time I let Emma Swan close to my heart.


	17. Chapter 17

Emma's POV

I groaned loudly when I heard the alarm, and reached to the nightstand to grab my phone. I was surprised when I found Regina's black iPhone instead of my white one. She must set it before falling asleep. It was 1pm so I slept about three hours, and I know it's soon time to leave. I turn off the alarm, and push myself on my elbows to look around in the room. Regina was nowhere to be seen, so I crawled out of bed, and went to look for the brunette.  I know she was different this time. I could sense she cared when she suggested the bath and sleeping instead of just wild, passionate sex. I remembered her hands brushing my skin slowly in the bath, almost like when you want to memorize something by touching it. Not in a sexual way. Not like ever before. She laughed, smiled a lot, and played with the bubbles like a child creating funny beard on my chin. And forming it into different shapes. Maybe I'm going to be able to break down her walls with time...

"Regina?" I called for her when I couldn't find anywhere downstairs either. 

"Oh, you are still here." She said, as she opened the back door. She was wearing jean shorts and a dark green sleeveless top sticking to her skin tightly creating perfect match with her olive skin. I've never seen her so casual before, not even on the barbecue party a few months ago. She seemed a bit sweaty and her hair was messy. 

"Where would I be?" I chuckled. "Where were you?" I asked. I thought she was in bed next to me at least for a few hours. 

"Just did some gardening." She shrugged.

"Gardening?" I smile. This woman is the sweetest. "I thought you were tired too."

"Who would be able to sleep next to you? You talk, toss around, and snore." She grimaces, and takes off her dirty sneakers.

"Woah. Well, no one complained about that yet. Including you." I say, and I could feel she's just pushing me away again. She slept peacefully next to me anytime I stayed.

"Come here." I order with a smirk, cause I couldn't resist the new side of her I just go to know. I never thought she was the gardening type.

"I'm dirty Emma I need to wash my hands." She says and head towards the bathroom but I grab her hips and pull her into me. I don't give a shit if she's dirty. 

"I like you dirty." I whisper seductively, and give a tiny kiss on her lips.

"Emma..." she tries to push me off but I know damn right I'm stronger than her, so I keep her close. "Let me go." She groans.

"What's bothering you?" I asked back, frowning at her. She is so damn complicated.

"Nothing's bothering me Emma, just let me go." She ordered.

"No." I protest and bring her lips to mine once again, by holding her head with on hand. She pushes me off with force that I've never experienced from her before and it scared the shit out of me. 

"I said let go of me Miss Swan. And if you don't mind, I need to get ready for work so I need you to leave." She said, and walked past me.

"Seriously?" I question.

"You know I'm serious." She replies from the bathroom coldy. The evil queen is back...

"Fine." I shrug and go upstairs to change back into my own clothes.

I'm about to leave in hurry when she opens the bathroom door, and our eyes meet. 

"Emma..." she calls for me. 

"What?" I groan, but deep down I was dying to know what's in her mind.

She walked up to me, and pushed me against the front door. Placing both of her hands on my hip bones.

"Next time you come. Make sure you wear something sexy." She smiles with her naughtiest smile. I couldn't decide how to react this is confusing the shit out of me. So I decide I will be just passive about it all. 

"Noted your Majesty." I shrug and push her off, trying to open the door but she pushes her hand against it. 

"What?" I turn back annoyedly our faces are just inches away, and I could feel her hot breath brushing my skin when she exhales.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, and I could see a toothy grin forming on her face. "For not making you scream  my name out loud today. Guess I have to double it next time." She said. I wasn't sure if I'm disappointed or simply grossed out by her behavior after the moments we shared today, but I knew she's just acting. Just putting her mask back on. The mask that keeps us hundreds of miles away from each other while we are literally inches apart. This is not my classy, smartass Regina. This is someone who desperately keeps trying to push me away. 

Not giving up on you Gina. I took the mental note for myself and gave a kiss on her cheek. 

"I enjoyed the bath Miss Mills." I replied and left her standing there at the doorway.

A few days passed without exchanging a word again. I didn't disturb her at work, nor texted her. She never mind that shit. I swear I'd get a response quicker if I would just send an owl or something instead of text messages. She's the type who only texts when she wants something. 

I sat in the common room alone, with my phone in my hands staring at her picture like a lovesick teenager. Everyone else was on a call, except me and Elsa.

She walked in and grabbed the phone from my hands.

"Give that back." I order furiously.

"You are pathetic girl." She grins at the picture before locking my phone and throwing it on the couch next to me. I grab it immediately, pushing it into my pocket. "You're good until Booth gets back from his leave and catches you staring at her picture." She says, and sits on the coffee table facing me.

"Shut up Els." I groan, and stand up, but she catches my wrist and pulls me back. 

"We are going to talk." She states, and motions for me to sit down. Elsa is like  a big sister to me, even though she's a few years younger. 

"About what?" I groan again. 

"You are in love with her aren't you?" She questioned. 

"I have no idea." I shrug. "I like her. I'd love to take her out, be all sweet, and cheesie and all. I hated those things before ya know. But I guess I'd like that with her." I explain. I just can't keep this in anymore.

"You are so..." Elsa started, but couldn't find the right word.

"Pathetic. According to you." I say with an ashamed grin.

"I was going to say 'in deep' , but pathetic is just fine." She laughs.

"I seriously don't know Elsa. I guess, I got attached." I shrug. This is definitely I've never seen will be happening. I've never grew close to anyone. I've never felt the need to be with anyone before she knocked on my door at that very first night.

"I guess that... happens. Sometimes." She says with pity filling her eyes. 

"You are helping so much Elsa." I groan, and push her off the table, so she'd fall on her butt. 

"You bitch." She laughs, and jumps up immediately. 

"Deserved it." I laugh, and push her playfully, so she would fall on the couch this time.

"You are so dead Emma Swan." She laughs, joy filling her bright eyes and she tries to push me off the couch.

"Khm." I hear someone from the doorway clearing her throat.

We stop our childish game and look at the woman at the door. Regina stands there in her tiny black jacket, and she looks like she came here in a hurry. Worry fills my whole being, an I stand up walking to her. I'm not sure how long was she standing there but I sense she just arrived.

"Hi, uhm. I'm going to go and grab a coffee, you just talk." Elsa says, and I give her a short smile gratefully.

"Hi." I say, and take a few steps closer to her. 

"Hi, I need you to do a favor." She says out of breath.

"Okay?" I question. "What is it?"

"My mother called me and told me my father had a stroke this morning. Not sure about the details but I need to go and stay with them for a few days. My sister Zelena is coming as well, and normally I'd ask my friend Belle to look after Henry, but she's in Europe on her honeymoon so..." Regina sputtered, and I could barely keep up. "Could you and August take care of Henry?" She asks, and I purse my lips. She really does trust me with her son? 

"Uhm sure. I mean, happily. August is on leave though, he's in Brooklyn visiting distant family." I add, so I could make sure she would choose me still if August is not around. 

"That okay I guess..." She shrugs. "As long as you can make time to take care of him." She adds. 

I just nod, and smile at her softly. "Thank you for trusting me with this." I smile. 

"I don't want to take him, he is just... too little to see his grandfather like this." she explains and her voice cracks halfway.

"I understand Regina, it's fine." I smile, which seems to calm her a bit. "Where do I pick him up from school?" I ask, making sure she knows I'm serious about this. 

"Uhm." She chuckles on my eagerness."I brought everything you need. Here, his teachers number, but I will let her know he will be staying with you for a few days." She says, handing me a bunch on papers. "This is the address of his school, and this is his schedule. I need you to talk to his babysitter to see if you can pick him up sometimes."

"I will talk to the babysitter." I smile. "We will work everything out I promise." I smile. "Don't worry about a thing."

"Emma I trust you a lot with this. It's not  a joke, he's my son." She breathes out on the edge of crying.

"I will take care of him well Gina." The nickname slips out of my mouth again carelessly, and I look down ashamed. She asked me specifically not to call her that. I'm such a moron. 

She lets out a small laugh, and smiles at me with tears filled eyes. 

"Thank you Emma." She smiles. "Here, my sister's number too if you can't reach me for whatever reason." She hands over another paper after searching in her handbag. 

"He has no allergies, I make him lunch usually, but I'll leave some money for you to give it to him so he can buy something in the cafeteria if you have no time to cook."

"That won't be a problem." I assure. 

"Uhm. I usually check if he's homework is done, and I let him play the PS4 only an hour a day, if he's bored he can grab a book or play with other toys. You can watch films, or cartoons but only non violent ones." She says, and I nod along.

"Noted." I smile. 

"He has soccer practice tomorrow and on tuesdays, I wrote down that address too. I will try my best to arrive home on friday, but I'm not sure how long will it take." She breathes out slowly after finishing her sentence.

"As long as it takes. We will be just great. Don't worry about him." I assure once more, and run my hand down her arm, then hold her hand gently when I reach down to it. 

"I remembered you mention you used to take care of the youngers while you were still in the system and I couldn't think about anyone else..." She said, explaining why she came to me again. "Not like I have tons of friends." She lets out a sour laughter. "Uhm guess people don't find me friendly." She chuckles. 

"They don't know you." I smile softly, and take a step closer to her before bringing her into a tight hug. 

"Thank you." She whispers. I could feel her trembling, and I  can't decide if she's crying or just very very stressed. I've never seen her so scared before. 

"Regina, you know we will be fine. You just take care too please." I whisper into her ear.

"I'm not worried about Henry. I'm afraid of losing dad." She whispers. 

"If he's half as strong as you are, he will be fine." I say, and give a kiss on the side of her head. Her raven hair smells like her shampoo and I love the feeling as it brushes my skin. I love how I'm a little taller cause the feeling of being able to just turn to her and give a kiss of comfort on the side of her head is priceless. 

"Thank you." She whispers back holding me tighter than ever before. 

"I'm here G.. Regina." I whisper back,  mentally cursing myself for almost calling her Gina once again. She have enough on her shoulders now. 

"I'll pack a bag for Henry, then take it to him to school and let him know he will be staying at yours." 

"Okay." I agree, and she pushes aways softly, but she keeps holding my right hand before squeezing it and turning to leave. 

I watch how she walks towards the garage, her head down this time. 

"So... what's up?" Elsa asks. 

"Uhm. I have a kid for a few days." I shrug and wink when I see Elsa's surprised features. 

"That's big." She chuckles.

"I'm sure I'll be needing Auntie Elsa around." I laugh, and turn to the garage when I hear the engines drive in. 

"Finally they are back. I'm starving." Elsa cheers, and runs to the fridge to take out the food for all of us. 

"Wash your hands kids." I call out when the others arrive to the room from their call. They all chuckle as they all changed already, and washed themselves. 

I can't help noticing how Graham immediately turned to Elsa, helping her take the food from the fridge. 

Ten minutes later we were done heating up our food and started to eat like a family. It wasn't common that we ate together cause most of the time at least one of the teams were out anyways but on mondays we liked to start the week with some 'family gathering'. 

This is why I grew to love this place. It was home.


	18. Chapter 18

I leaned to the door of my car while waiting for the brown haired little guy appear from the school's entrance. I always loved kids, but there was something about Henry that I found the most adorable and sweet. He was a smart kid but also so kind hearted, and naive. It amazed me how different the 6 year old Henry to the 6 year old Emma was while how similar they were. Henry is so happy and free, he is loved and protected by a strong mother who would bring down the stars for her son's happiness if she had to while six year old Emma was happy if she had a roof over her head and got proper food once a week. She trusted no one, she barely understood the concept of love and she didn't know what's the big deal about Christmas. But somehow I felt like Henry and 6 year old Emma were very much similar.

I smiled widely when he looked around searching for me. I waved and his face lit up when he catched the sight of me. A whole class exited the school so I lost him in the crowd but he easily found his way to me, and wrapped his little arms around my waist. I held him close. His head just reached up to the center of my stomach and I found it adorable how he wrapped himself around me. 

"Hi there kid." I smiled, and he gave me the most adorable toothy grin ever. 

"Hi Emma." He greeted.

I took the huge bag from him, and throw it on the backseat next to his car seat that Regina dropped off at the Fire House before she left the city. 

"Well, well. Isn't that Emma Swan I see?" I heard a raspy voice from the front of my car. 

I looked at the brunette woman dressed in completely black, with a brown haired little girl tucked to her side. At first sight I couldn't recognize her but when her lips curled to a smile my mind click immediately. Lily!

"Lily Page?" I asked back, and she took three extremely quick steps towards me before she wrapped her arms around my neck. 

"Oh my!" I exhale. 

"Jeez you look the same." She laughed.

"Not like you! I barely recognized you!" She laughed along, then her eyes slipped to Henry, standing by my side close, looking up at the woman curiously. 

"I see you got one of your own as well." She smiled down at Henry, then waved to her daughter to come closer. 

I chuckle, and shake my head. 

"Oh he's not my son Lily, I'm just looking after him for a few days right buddy?" I ask, and I run my hand through his thick hair.

"Oh I'm sorry I just assumed without thinking." She apologized. Gosh I can't take my eyes off her. I can't believe we meet like this after not seeing each other for years. 

"It's fine. I see you got one though." I smile, and the little girl giggles. 

"Hi Lori." Henry waves at her shily.

"Hi Henry." She smiles back adorably.

Our eyes meet with Lily's and we both almost burst out in laughter because of this little scene between the kids.

"Lori meet Mommy's friend Emma." Lilly introduces me, and then looks at Henry. "And I presume you two know each other already."

"We are classmates Mommy." Lori explained like it was an obvious fact, and she rolled her eyes at her mother. Flashback came back to me about Lily doing the same at the same age.

"She's just like you." I smile at both of them. 

"Yeah. I like to think I was better mannered at her age but hey, that wouldn't be true would it?" She winked. 

"Not at all. Troublemaker." I grin, remembering to the old times. 

"So, would you like to meet sometime? We can do a play date while Henry is staying with you. Would you two like that?" She asked from the kids, and they both grinned and nodded. 

"That would be awesome." I smile. 

"I'll give you my number, just give me a ring when you are free." She smiled, and I handed over my phone so she can add herself to the contacts.

"Messaged myself, so I'd have your number too." She winked.

„Well see you two later." I smiled and waved goodbye. 

„See you Henry." Lori smiled widely and ran to their car. 

Before I buckled Henry up in the car, I looked up and saw Lily and her daughter was leaving in a Chevrolet Camaro. I shook my head. She always had a thing for fast cars but a Chevrolet?! Girl I remember the times when we were stealing sweets from the supermarket.

"Emma? Can we play Fifa at yours?" He asked as soon us I finished to buckle him up. 

"Uhm. Homework first kid. Queen's orders." I smile. 

"You call Mommy the Queen?" He giggles sweetly. 

"Well she has the characteristics of a queen hasn't she?" I ask back, and he nods eagerly. 

"See?" I wiggle my eyebrows and shut his door.

~~~

When we arrived home I asked Henry if he's comfortable with sleeping in my room, and he smiled and nod. 

"It's nice of you, giving me your room." He says, more like thinking aloud then directly to me. 

Well I can't really let you into Booth's room can I? No idea when was the last time he cleaned and I won't risk any questions about the huge amount of cotton in his nightstand's drawer.

I smile at the adorable 6 year old, and put his beg on the couch. 

"You Gentlemen have thirty minutes of watching cartoons to rest a bit, then you start your homework okay?" I asked and he nods, jumping on the couch, to turn on the TV. He chooses some cartoon about robots but it doesn't seem harmful so I just go with it. 

"What do you want for dinner?" I ask him. 

No answer, he is completaly dazed out in his show. 

"Henry?" I call his name a little louder from the kitchen.

No answer still.

Gosh I'm being ignored already? Is this how it feels to be a mother? 

"Henry Mills!" I call out and he takes a small look at me before turning back to the tv.

"Yes?" He asks.

"Dinner. What do you want to eat for dinner?" I ask again.

"Can we order pizza?" He asks, not taking his eyes off the cartoon still.

"Not happening. Choose something that your mother would agree with as well." I order.

No answer again. Gosh why is that stupid robot is more important then his dinner.

I walk over and mute the TV. 

"Emma?!" He groans. 

"Choose something that your mother would agree with as well." I repeat myself.

"She would agree with pizza." He smiles mischiefly. 

"Good try." I wink. "But you see, I have this super power." I shrug, like it wasn't really a big deal.

"A super power?" He narrows his eyes.

"Yes. I can tell when someone is lying. And you, my little friend, are definitely lying." I wink. 

"Ugh." He groans. "Fine. Sometimes she makes me chicken balls with veggies." He says, and turns back to the TV trying to understand the story from only the picture.

"You like that?" I ask back. 

"Yep." He says. 

"Wasn't so hard, was it?" I mock, and turn the sound back on.

I turn to the kitchen and start to prepare the food. 

My phone starts to ring and I pick it up, placing between my ear and my shoulder to hold it while I work on the dinner. 

"Hi Emma. It's Regina. How is everything?" She asks. 

"Everything is just fine. I'm preparing dinner, and Henry is  watching cartoons then he's going to do his homework."

"Good..." she said, and exhaled slowly.

"Uhm, do you want to talk to him?" I ask. 

"No, I'll call one more time before bedtime to say goodnight, we just got here and I wanted to... check in." She explained.

"Sure. Bedtime at?" I ask back because we didn't make that clear. 

"Eight. Eight thirty tops." She said. 

"Got it." I say and finish up with cutting the vegetables. 

"Uhm. Thank you again. We will talk later." She says. 

"Anytime Regina. Talk later, and hey?" I call before she could hang up.

"Yeah?"

"Keep your chin up Beautiful." I smile, and I could feel she smiles too. 

"Later." She says goodbye, and hangs up.

I start the chicken balls but wait with starting to cook the vegetables. I sit for a bit, thinking about what to make for him tomorrow's lunch. I swear this is way much work then I expected. Usually I just read or listen to music when I get home from work. 

"Henry, rest time is over, get your books and all and start your homework please." I call out for him, and it looks like it's impossible to get his attention again.

"Henry. Mills." I raise my voice.

"I heard you." He informed me.

"You certainly got some sass from your mother little man." I groan, and grab his backpack to put it on the chair next to the dining table. "Get some work done before I call her." I order, and he turns off the TV. 

"You are so bossy." He says, when he walks past me annoyedly.

"That's right." I grin.

"Just like Mommy." He groans again, which makes me chuckle. 

The rest of the day was quite fun. We corrected his homework together, then played some PS4. 

I tucked him in after he had a short conversation with his mother on the phone, then I left the light on in the living room, leaving his door slightly open so some light could sneak into the room. I knew that always comforted me when I slept at a new place. 

I hear my phone vibrate in the kitchen, and I rush to grab it when I see Regina's name on the screen. 

"Hallo?" I say, but I get no answer. "Regina, is this you?" I ask when I hear a sharp exhale on the other end of the line. "Regina?" I ask again, but then she hangs up. I take a deep breath and leave my phone on the counter. 

Two hours later I switch off the lights, settle on the couch to close my eyes. I can feel my muscles relax and my eyelids getting heavy, but few minutes later sobbing sound hits my ears and my eyes open immediately. I ran into my room, where Henry was sitting on my bed, his little knees brought to his chest and his head resting on his arms. 

"Oh Henry what happened?" I ask him, and wrap my arms around his little body. 

"I had a bad dream." He manage to say between loud sobs. 

"Oh honey, next time just call for me I'm right here." I coo, and lay him down. 

"I wasn't sure if it's okay." He admits, and looks up at me. 

"Of course it is okay kid." I whisper, and bring him close to me. "Do you want to talk about your dream?" I asked and he shook his head against my neck. "Okay then I'm just gonna stay here with you okay?" I ask and he wraps his arms around my waist as an answer.

"Thank you Emma." he whispers.

"Of course Henry." I whisper back and give kiss on the top of his head. 

The next day I couldn't wait my shift to end so I could go and pick him up to spend the rest of my day with him. He really enlightened my life just with his presentence.

"Hi Emma." he smiled brightly after exiting school the next day. 

"Hi Henry." I smile, and grab his backpack so he doesn't have to carry it to the car. 

"What are you carrying in this thing? Rocks? It's very heavy." I ask, and he grins up at me. 

"I had some time in lunch break and I went to the library to take out some books to read." He explained.

"Wow, I don't think I ever went to the library at your age." I admit laughing at myself a bit. 

"How?" He wondered, frowning at me.

"Well I wasn't lucky enough to have a mother like yours." I explain. "Or any other kind." I shrug.

"You didn't have mother?" He asked back again.

"I did. When I was a very little baby. But unfortunately she passed away in an accident, my dad as well." I said, looking on the pavement as we walked towards my car.

"Just like my dad?" He asked unsure, and I could feel my heart sore.

"Similar. Yes." I say with a sad smile, and open the backdoor for him. "Get in Buddy." I order, and he jumps into his seat immediately.

"Will grandpa die too?" He asks, and I can feel I stop breathing for a moment. "I want the truth." He adds.

"Henry a stroke can come in a lot of different forms and I don't know a lot about your grandfather's state. But I know he couldn't be in better hands with your mother by his side." I smile, and he nods understandingly.

"I miss mommy." He sighs. I miss her too.

"Your grandpa needs her more than we do." I smile. "Now let's go home and get ready for your soccer practice shall we? I'm excited to see you out there. I played soccer too back in high school." I add, and his eyes lit up. 

"You did?" He asks. "Can you practice with me after school tomorrow?" He asks.

"Sure I can. We can do whatever you want Henry." I smile.

"Can we eat ice cream after practice?" He asks back immediately.

"If you do good, yes we can." I smile, and give a kiss on his forehead before closing his door.

"Emma?" he calls for me when I get into the driver's seat.

"Yes Henry?"

"Lunch was yummy." He smiled softly, watching me in the mirror. 

 

"I'm glad you like it." I smiled back, and started the car. 

I guess I'm nailing this babysitting thing already.


	19. Chapter 19

Regina's POV

A whole week without Henry feels like a part of my heart being ripped out of my chest and kept locked away in the distance, but I knew I did the right thing when I left him home. My father is slowly recovering but I'm not sure how long will it take until something takes him away from me and I don't need my son remembering his grandfather like this. I need him to remember the always cheerful man who treats him with candy and do sword fights in the garden, who teaches him how to swim at the summers and who always sneaks some cookies before dinner despite mine and my mother's wishes. I need my son to remember that man. Not the one who can barely manage to sit straight. 

"Hi Dad." I smile, when I walk into his room before leaving to say goodbye.

"Hi kid." He smiles weakly. 

"I need to head back to the city soon. Zelena is staying longer, and I will visit next weekend." I inform him and he blinks slowly, then nods his head. 

"How is my little man?" He asks, with sparkly eyes. The eyes that he only has when it comes to Henry. 

"He is doing fine. I left him with a friend. Emma. She's taking a good care of him. He's complaining about the food so that's good." I wink, and he laughs a bit drily.

"Give a break to the kid." He says. 

"Oh, he has so much fun. He's quite fond of... Emma." I say, looking down to my lap for a second before my eyes meet my father's again. 

"How about you?" He asks back, searching for my eyes. 

"What about me?" I scoff followed by a small smile.

"Do you like her?" He questions, raising an eyebrow. 

"Excuse me?" I ask back surprised by his question. "She's nice, and I can trust her. That's all I need." 

"Regina dear." My father sighs. "We both know that's not true. When you talked about her the other day..." he starts but I cut him off. 

"She's a nice woman who is trustworthy to take care of my son. That's it." I say, keeping the straight face and look deeply into his eyes. 

"You can lie to yourself but you can't lie to your old man Darling." He laughs. "Tell me. Please." I stare into his eyes for a second, considering all my options. He sees right through me. The only person who can manage that.

"How did you know?" I ask, and I avoid eye contact. 

"You face lit up when you talk about her. Or when your phone rang the other day? You ran to it like your life depends on it. And it wasn't because of Henry." He explained. "You hide it well. Your mother doesn't know."

"She'd kill me." I add.

"She would be happy for you. She changed." He smiled peacefully.

"Mother never changes." I state harshly. 

"What are you afraid of really? Your mother disapproval? That didn't stop you since you got pregnant with Henry. Remember? She wanted you to give up on him but you never did. She yelled, and was furious, and feared for you future. But you didn't care. So what's stopping you now?" He asked. 

"She's... She's not my girlfriend." I state. 

"But you love her." He pointed out.

"I... love is... a heavy word dad. I like her. Very much. Maybe too much." I admit. 

"So why don't you ask her out?" He asked. 

"She's... She's working with Graham and August at the Fire House Robin used to work at. She's a paramedic." I say, fighting the ball in my throat. "She's quick, never misses one detail, she knows exactly what she's doing... She's always in a rush. I used to think that girl is like a hurricane. But I kept insulting her, kept pushing her and then she became even better. She went against the rules to save someone and that was the moment I realized... She's easily the best paramedic I've ever met. She could definitely make it through medical school." I explain. 

"Is this why you like her?" He asked.

"Because she's good at her job?" I ask back, then shake my head. "This is the reason I can't be with her. I can't fall for her. What if... something happens to her. Like it happened to Robin." I breathed out slowly. 

"Don't you think it's a bit late to think about that?" My father questioned, and realization hit my heart hard. 

"I'm not in love with her." I deny, shaking my head. 

"I didn't say you were Regina. But you already got close to her and you already brought her into Henry's life. Would it hurt you if something would happen to her now?" He asked but he never got an answer. "Regina?" He asks again, and I blink as a feel the ball in my throat grow bigger, and crocodile tears form in my eyes. 

"Regina Dear. Life is just too short to refuse to take risks." He said, and reached for my face to wipe my tears off. "You can push her away, but it won't do any good to your heart darling. You will feel empty and lonely. Because she might be there for you now, but she won't be able to wait for you until eternity." He explained. 

"I don't know if I can do it Dad. It scares me." I cry, and sit closer to him, to rest my head on his chest like I always did as a kid when I was upset. 

"It's okay to be scared Regina." He cooed. "But fear shouldn't control your life. Darling, take every chance on happiness because not one of them will come back to you after you let them sneak away." He said, and caressed my hair. 

"I love you dad." I confess, and hug him strongly. He hums, and kisses the top of my head. 

"I love you too kid." He smiles when I let him go and look into his eyes. 

"Please get better." I ask, and sit up by his bed. 

"On it." He winks.

"I will be back soon." I assure him. 

"I know you will Honey." He says, and smiles softly while I kiss his forehead, and turn to leave. 

I thought the two hours trip back to Chicago would help to clear my thoughts, but it only seemed to confuse me more. My father's words echoed in my ears but as soon as I imagined asking Emma out, I had this ball in my throat again, and I knew I won't be able to do it. I won't be able to do it just yet and I'm not sure I will ever be ready. I need some time away from her, I need to create some distance. 

I arrived in front of their apartment around 7 pm, and I could see the lights were on at the top floor. 

I walked up to the door, and ringed the bell. The door opened with the usual buzzing sound and I took the elevator to the top. 

Henry teared the front door open as soon as my elevator's door opened and ran to my arms. I picked him up from the floor, and wrapped my arms around him, as he pushed his face to my neck. I could feel tears forming in my eyes once again, but I took a big breath, and looked up at Emma who was holding the door for us.

"Hi Prince. Hey Emma." I smile, and walk towards the apartment with him. 

"I missed you Mommy." He said, and kept his arms around my neck. 

"You did?" I smiled, and looked at Emma while she closed the door behind us. "Were you a good boy?" I asked, turning back to my son.

"He was excellent." Emma replied, and layed her back against the kitchen island, crossing her arms. She wore dark blue sport shorts, and a grey hoodie with her wavy hair falling on her shoulders carelessly and glasses that I've never seen her wear before. She looked so beautiful. She must noticed I'm watching, cause she blushed, and removed her glasses. 

 

"Then you deserve a present." I smiled, put Henry down on his feet and reached into my handbag to pull out his favorite comics.

"Mommy!!!!" He screamed. "Thank you. Thank you! Thank you!!" He jumped up and down and hugged my waist. 

"You're welcome." I smile, and carass his head, as he keeps me close. 

He walks away with his comics, and places it into his backpack. 

"Won't you read it now?" I ask him, hoping he would leave me with Emma just for a litte to talk. 

"No, I can't do that." He pouts.

"Why not?" Emma asks.

"I need to tell her about our amazing adventures!" Henry extragerrates with rolling his eyes at Emma, and I chuckle. I wonder who you got that from?

"Henry, we shouldn't stay, it's already late, and tomorrow's school day." I explain. 

"We can sleep here right Emma?" He asks, and I shake my head as I look up to Emma to show my disapproval. 

"Sure." She shrugs with a wide smile, and surprisingly she doesn't even bother to look at me.

Henry claps, and jumps on the couch and immediately starts to talk. "I always thought girls can't play soccer, but Emma is the best soccer player on the planet!" He extragarrates again, but I find it interesting to know that Emma plays soccer that I just found out a few days ago when Henry told me about their little practice in the park.

"I just helped him to practice some moves and tricks." Emma shrugged. "Where am I next to Alex Morgan huh?" She laughs, and hugs Henry. I presume Alex Morgan or whoever is a soccer player. "But thanks Buddy. Really. I had a lot of fun with you." She said, and kissed my son on the top of his head.

"And... Emma know's Lori's Mommy, and we went out to the park yesterday, and we played with Lori and had so much fun!" Henry continues.

"Who's Lori?" I ask him, since I haven't heard her name before.

"They are classmates with Henry. I happened to know her mother Lily, and we arranged a playdate for the kids." Emma explains. 

"Yeah and Lori is super nice!" Henry adds. 

"Super nice huh?" Emma laughs, and pokes his side. 

"She is." 

"Someone has a tiny crush on her." Emma laughs, and tickles Henry's side. 

"Emma stop! And Lori and I are just friends." Henry points it out, then sits closer to me. 

"Ah-ah." Emma mocks him, and smiles at me. 

I don't know anything about this Lori girl, and never heard about her, either her mother Lily, but something really bugged me about this. I returned her smile anyway, but I could see she noticed I forced it. 

"This morning, we went to swim, then we had lunch, and played PS4, and I beat Emma in FIFA!" He screamed. 

"Wow kid, you didn't beat me okay? I let you win." She rolled her eyes playfully.

"I know you didn't. Don't lie, that's not nice. Right Mommy?" He said, and poked Emma, who giggled and poked him back. I smiled at them, because now I truly understood how close they grew in the past few days.  Henry poked her back, witch just started a huge tickling battle between them and I didn't know how to react so I just watched the two with a smile on my face.

"What? You'd like some too?" Emma asked when she totally pinned Henry to the couch and looked up at me, finindig me grinning.

"No I'm fine dear, I rather stay out of your silly games." I assure, but Henry frowns.

"Mommy likes to tickle too." He says, and Emma locks eyes with him and they grin at each other. I stand up immediately preparing for the attack. 

"Oh I bet she does." Emma smiles, and pulls Henry up. 

"You two! Stop before you start it!" I groan, and take another step back. 

"Get her!" Henry commands pointing at me and starts to chase me all over the living room. 

In the run I forgot I'm not only running from my son but Emma too, and I easily found myself facing the blonde, running right into her arms. 

"I got you." She whispered into my ear with a giggle, then I felt little arms reaching to my side to tickle me, and I let out a low laugh. 

"Good job Emma! Don't let her run!" He laughs, but Emma pulls me away and stepps in front of my son. 

"Girls against boys?" She challenges, and my son screams, and runs to the other side of the room. 

"Okay okay, peace?" He offers his hand when Emma gets to him, and Emma takes it. 

"Good deal." She says. 

"Won't your neighbours complain?" I asked and Emma shrugged. 

"I guess they got used to it after the second day." She laughed and hopped on the couch. 

Henry rubbed his eyes slowly, and curled up next to me.

"Close your eyes boy, it's been a long day." Emma says, and caresses his head softly. 

"Can I go to your room?" He asks. 

"Sure." She says, and my boy disappears in the bathroom to wash his teeth before he runs to give a huge kiss on my cheek then walks up to Emma and does the same, and then he walks to Emma's room. I'm in slight shock but I guess she did take care of him well for a week so he grew close to her.

"You sure it's okay if we stay?" I asks, looking after Henry.

"It's better for everyone." She smiles. "You can sleep with him in my room and I'll stay out here." She says and it makes me wonder.

"So Henry took your bed, you slept on the couch all week?" I asked. 

"I planned to sleep on the couch but he had a nightmare the first night so I stayed with him, after that, he eventually asked me to sleep next to him all week." Emma answered. 

"Oh. Thank you. For everything. For taking care of him." I smiled softly, and she smiled back. 

"Come on, go to the balcony, I'll be there in a second." She says, tapping my knee, and walks to the kitchen, grabbing two wine glasses. 

I walk to the balcony, and wrap a blanket around my shoulders when the cold breeze reaches my skin through the thin layer of textil of my clothes. 

She walks out, and places the glasses on the tiny table, then she walks up to me, wrapping an arm around my waist from behind. 

"We missed you." She confesses, and I could feel the ball grow in my throat immediately. I missed you too.

"Thank you for taking care of him again, I'll pay you the fair amount." I reply, and she pulls away, stepping next to me with a confused look.

"You asked for a favor so let it be a favor."

"I don't like to own anyone anything." I reply surprised by my own voice, how stone cold it sounds. 

"You don't own a thing. I was glad to have Henry around. It was a favor." She assured. 

I made a mental note to leave money on the table before I leave, and just nodded. 

"How is your dad?" She asked, and took her glass into her hands. 

"He's getting better. Zelena stayed with them. Mother is a mess..." I said, and took my glass too.

"He will be fine." Emma assured. 

"Thanks." I replied to her empty words, and took a long sip from the dry, white wine she poured.

"Regina I..." She started and I looked up at her, finding her green eyes staring into mine way too close.

I could sense her breathing change, and without hesitation, she moved closer and pressed her soft lips against mine. I moaned as the sweet taste of her lips blinded me, and I kissed her back with need. I didn't care about anything at the moment. Everything felt faded when she kissed me, and when I realized how much I need her, I felt the ball back in my throat choking me. I pushed her away, and placed my glass back on the table, turning away from her.

"Emma. I..." I could almost hear  my father's voice.  Take the risk.  But the ball in my throat kept choking me until I could barely breath. This can't happen. This is not good for me. This will destroy me. She will destroy me. 

"Regina! What?" She shook me from my messy thoughts, and grabbed my arm so I'd face her. 

"I... I have to take Henry home."


	20. Chapter 20

Emma's POV

The next few days passed painfully slow after Regina stormed out of my apartment with Henry. She declined my calls, she didn't reply my messages, she avoided me at the hospital. I even opened up to Elsa, and told her about the situation but she couldn't help me out with one of her wise advices this time. I was too close to the picture to see how messy it was from the beginning, but I couldn't make up my mind and take a step back.

I just finished with my shift, and I was walking to my car when I received a text message from Lily. 

You look nice today. - I read and I looked around, finding my friend standing next to her fancy car, with her daughter tacked to her side. 

"You look nice today too." I reply with a wink after looking over the woman all in black once again." Are you so much into this emo style?" I ask pointing at her outfit mockingly.

"Ha-ha. So funny Swan." She replies, and Lori giggles sweetly when her mother pushes my shoulder playfully.

"What are you girls doing here?" I asked kindly, shifting my eyes between the two brunettes. 

"We figured you'd miss a kid around since Henry isn't staying with you anymore, so what do you say about an ice cream then playground?" Lily asks.

"Sure. Let's do it." I shrug with a small smile. "Where are we heading?" I ask.

"We are going to my favorite ice cream place." Lori jumps up, shifting her hands into the air excitedly. 

"Wanna drive?" Lily asks, and throws her keys to my chest without waiting for answer. I look at the gray 4 doors camaro behind them, and smirk at Lily. 

"Lori, who's the better driver? Mommy or me?" I ask, and wink at the little girl. 

"Mommy." She claims. 

"Oh Honey, we will see about that." I chuckle, and get into the driver's seat while Lily buckled Lori in. 

"Is this car kid friendly?" I ask before I start the engine, and I barely can catch my breath from the sound it makes. Lily chuckles softly at my reaction and slaps my knee. 

"You just take it easy with the gas pedal Em." She says, and keeps her hand on my knee while I pull out from the side of the road. 

I really didn't know a lot about cars, but this one was definitely the fastest car I ever drove and I enjoyed every second of it. Ten minutes later we pulled up next to a tiny ice cream shop that sold handmade ice cream, not those premade ones that I usually get. I keep in mind to bring Henry here once, I'm sure he would love it. 

"What's your favorite flavor?" Lori asks, and tries to see the flavors herself, but they are too high for her so I shift her from the floor, and point at my favorite.

"Rocky road."

"Mommy likes rocky road too." She nods, and I look at her mom, who watches us with amusement.

"She does?" I smile, and exchange looks with Lily. "What's your favorite?" I ask. 

"Pink." She says with a giggle.

"Basically anything what's pink." Lily explains with a soft chuckle. She definitely raised a princess.

We finished our ice creams while walking to the park and Lori talked most of the way about her friends in school having a 'huge' fight and she's ending up spending the day with Henry. Soon we arrived to the park, and she ran off to the swings while we settled on a bench with Lily. 

"So what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours? You seem troubled." Lily asked softly, then she sat closer to me wrapping an arm around my shoulder. 

"Please don't even ask." I chuckle, and scoop closer to her too, then rest my head on her shoulder. 

I missed her comfort a lot. I barely could remember but these tiny moment we share remind me a lot of the old times. 

"I never thought I'd see you again." She whispered, and rested her head on mine.

"I never thought I'd see you again either." I replied, and closed my eyes for a second, remembering back to our childhood. We used to tell stories to each other in the group home. Whenever we were upset, we made up stories where both of us got their happy ending. Where we never got separated and grew up as sisters. I live in the moment of memories and I know Lily does too, because her breathing changed and I could sense how relaxed we both feel right now. I heard Lori scream in excitement, and I opened my eyes quickly. I saw a brown haired little boy run straight to my direction. I remove my head from Lily's shoulder as I realise it's Henry, and he's actually running to me, and I stand up, and pick him up from the floor to throw him in the air while he lets out a loud giggle, then he wraps his arm around me. 

"Hey Bug." I smile, and kiss his temple.  

"Hey Emma. I missed you." He says sweetly. 

"Henry..." I heard Regina's raspy voice call for her son softly. "It's not nice to disturb adult conversations."

"Hi Regina. It's fine really. We were just lost in memories I guess." I say, while placing Henry on the ground, and he rans to Lori immediately. "This is my friend Lily Page. And this is Henry's mother, Regina Mills." I introduced the two brunette, and they shook hands. 

"I heard a lot about your daughter Ms Page." Regina said with an unfamiliar smile. It wasn't forced but wasn't real either. 

"Please call me Lily." She says, and Regina nods and gives her a toothy smile. Is she into Lily? She's acting strange.

"Our kids are quite fond of eachother, Ms Mills." Lily smirked.

"Regina." She corrected, and took a seat on the bench and we followed her lead. "They are indeed." She agreed. "And this looks like a good opportunity to get to know each other personally." Regina adds with another smile. "So how do you know each other?" Regina started the questioning and I could already feel my palms getting sweaty. 

"From the system. We were around seven when we ended up in the same group home. From then, we couldn't be separated. We even ran away together once." Lily laughed, and I smiled at her, for bringing up our little adventure. "Then I got adopted by a family at my teenage years and soon we moved to New York with my new family. We tried mailing with Em, but it didn't work out because I moved a lot, and we couldn't keep track of each other anymore. Eventually we met again when Emma picked up Henry at school last week, and we found out they were classmates with Lori. It's amazing how we managed to find each other after so many years." Lily continued explaining our history. "I guess I have to thank you for that." She added looking at Regina, and placed a hand on my knee. 

"Well, that sounds... lovely." Regina said, and I could see her eyes shift to Lily's hand for a second then back at us.

"How do you two know each other?" Lily asked back. 

"We worked at the same hospital for a year." I explained, then looked at Regina who just nod without any facial expressions.

"Must be a special bond if you let her take care of Henry." Lily noticed, and I could feel she sensed something cause she's never pushy except if she feels like something is off.

"Emma and I are friends. Yes. " Regina replied dryly, and my heart hurt because of her words, but what else could she say really? We occasionally fuck, sometimes even pretend we care about each other then we don't talk for days?

"So what do you do for a living?" Regina questioned, and I smiled proudly at my friend.

"She's a badass cop." I state, and Lily frowns.

"I'm a detective, thank you." She replies, and pushes me jokingly. "I heard you are a trauma surgeon." Lily said and Regina just nod again. 

"One of the best in the city." I add, offering a small smile to Regina, and I could see her eyes spark for a second, but her face harden, and she turns her head away.

"Thank you Dear." She says coldly, and fix her eyes at the two playing children. 

They make their way around the slide, and climb up to the top. Henry waits for Lori to get to the top, lets her slide down first, then he follows her carefully not to knock her over when he arrives down. 

"They are cute." I smile, and the two woman nods in union.

"So, is Lori's father around?" Regina asks curiously.

"It's just the two of us for now." Lily replies "Her father was the running away from responsibilities  type." She shrugged.

Regina chuckeles, and nods.

"I know that type quite well dear." She says, and she seems relax for a few second, until Lily sits closer to me again, resting her head on my shoulder this time. 

We sat in silence. I concentrated on Regina. She often shifted in her seat and let out a long sigh when Lily moved beside me. 

Lily and I never had romantic relationship, mostly because we were so young when we met, we basically grew up together. I could never imagine myself with her. Not even now. Although, she always was a tease when it came to me. 

I found it quite fascinating to watch Regina react to my interactions with Lily and I could feel she was jealous. I got drunk on the feeling, that I could make her jealous. I didn't mean to provoke it though, this is really just the way we were at our teenage years with Lily. Best friends. Sisters. 

Soon, Henry and Lori arrived claiming that they were both hungry and we should go and grab  pizza but Regina insisted on taking him home and preparing a proper meal for him, so I knew we would go on separated ways from now. 

"Emma, I was thinking... are you free tomorrow night? Something came up and I couldn't get Henry's babysitter come over. My sister is still with my parents so, could you come over to my house to stay with Henry for a few hours?" She asked, looking into my eyes without any kind of kindness or emotions. I thought about it for a second before I nod. At least I get a chance to talk to her when she gets home.

"Okay then tomorrow at 6?" She asks and I nod again. 

Henry giggled in excitement before he hugged me an turned to his mother to leave. 

"See you tomorrow." I said, and waved goodbye to them, then turned back to Lori and Lily, who sat on the bench watching the scene between us. 

"Another favor?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"You know I love Henry." I shrugged, and glanced at Lori who listened to the conversation carefully so I decided not to add more. 

"Come on, I know a good pizza place." I command, and lead the way out of the park. 

We arrive at the restaurant, and order, then Lori runs off to the corner of the room looking at the aquarium amused by the colorful fishes. I keep an eye on her, but I know Lily does too so I don't worry too much. 

"So what's the deal with... 'Ms Mills'?"

"Nothing." I shrug. "She's a good friend." I add, hoping she would drop the topic.

"She is ice cold towards you." She stated.

"Maybe she was just nervous around you." I shrug once again. 

"Emma I'm a detective." She says, and I refuse to react. "Are you two together? She was jealous, wasn't she?" She asks. 

"Why would you think that?" I scoff. 

"Body language. Anytime I touched you she tensed up. Anytime I smiled at you I swear I could feel she's trying to kill me with her eyes." She explained, and raised an eyebrow waiting for explanation.

"No. We are not together." I state.

"So, she just likes you?" She asks again not even waiting for my answer. "Do you like her back?"

"Lily, I really don't know what are you trying to do here." I sigh, and grab my glass starting to spin it around to easy my nerves.

"Do you like her?" She asks again.

"Like..." I chuckle. "Is a very plain word for what I feel." I admit.

"Butterflies?" She smirks.

"Fire." I reply, thinking about our heated kisses and the way her chocolate eyes used to shift to my lips with full of lust when we caught each other for a few minutes in the hospital.  

"Can't blame you..." Lily chuckles after watching me for a few seconds in amusement. "Is she playing hard to get?"

"She's playing impossible to get." I reply, before Lori returned to the table smiling at us.

"I made friends with the yellow-pink fish." She announced. 

"Sure you did." Lily rolled her eyes at her daughter and I grinned at the little Princess.

I was sitting at the kitchen counter at Lily's place after Lily practically dragged me here after encounter with Regina. I was sipping my cold beer, while waiting for Lily to put Lori to sleep. I really wouldn't mind if it took long, I wanted to avoid conversation that will take place after Lily comes back.

As usual, I can only curse my luck as I heard footsteps in the hallway, coming my way.

"So, what is really happening with you and Regina? I could sense jealousy and possession coming in waves from her." asked Lily as she sat down opposite of me, with her own cold beer in hand.

"I really don't want to talk about this, Lily." I sighed, hoping she will let it go.

"I know what you are thinking, but let me explain something. I don't care how long it will take, but I will get the whole story. You are not leaving without telling me." She looked at me, sipping her beer. She was like this when we were kids, she would not stop until I talk.

"Okay " I grunted, taking a generous sip of my beer "We fuck sometimes. It sometimes seems more than that." I looked down to my hands holding a beer, pausing. Lily reached for my hand and I looked up.

"Whatever you say is safe with me. I'm here for you, Emma."

"It always more for me." I said, tears nearly burning my eyes. "For her, maybe. I just hope that I'm the reason for that shine in her eyes that sometimes appears when we are alone." I swallowed and looked at Lily "Reality is that she made it clear that she doesn't want me in any other way, except for fucking. When she calls. If she calls." I finished quietly as the waves emotions gripped my chest.

"That is bullshit, Emma." Lily exclaimed loudly, startling me  
"If she felt like that, only like that; she wouldn't trusted you with her son." 

Lily got up and started to pace, just like she did when we were kids.

"When you have kids, certain things shift. They, they become centre of your life, forever. To trust you with him, is not a small thing."

"Lily, she has a nanny, I'm just here when she can't. I don't think she looks at it that deeply, if anything I'm convenient."

"Emma, I love you but you are dumb." Lily said "Besides if you feel that way why would you keep up with it?" 

"I understand where her coldness and reservation comes from." I replied.

Lily looked at me and moved around the counter, until she was in front of me. She took my face in her hands and said.  "You have to be brave, because she isn't. If you want her, you will have to be more vulnerable, more open than she will be, maybe ever." I gulped at her words, that was always problematic part for me.

"If she is what your heart wants, do your best. Give your all, that's the only right way to go with these things." She said as her thumbs caressed my cheeks.

"I'm afraid." I whispered.

"I know, I know." she nodded and hugged me tightly in a hug that I waited in what seemed, eternity.

"I should go." I say, noticing how much time I spent here. "Morning shift." I explain, when she flashes a confused look at me.

"Ah." She nods, and hugs me one more time tightly.

"I missed you." I admit.

"I missed you too. Thank you for telling me about Regina. Just for the record, I'm willing to kick her fancy ass if she ever breaks your heart." She winked.

"I hope there won't be need for that cause that would cause a serious Romeo and Juliett situation between the kids." I laugh.

"Yeah I shall not ruin my daughter's love life already." She agrees with a wicked smile.

"See you soon?"

"As soon as possible." She smiled brightly, and walked me to the door.


	21. Chapter 21

My muscles were sore from today's work and my whole body felt wrecked and tired, yet my heart pounded soundly against my chest when I finally arrived to the large mansion. I couldn't stop smiling because finally I get to kiss her with the passion that has been burning my heart through this summer. 

I could hear my heartbeat when I knocked on the huge wooden door and waited for the beautiful brunette to answer. 

The door opened after a few seconds and a tall black guy smiled charmingly at me. I felt sick in the stomach, I couldn't move, I daren't even breathe, I'm frozen to the spot. I breath deep and heavy until he flashes another smile and opens his mouth to speak.

"Miss Swan?" He raises an eyebrow playfully. How could I miss noticing the black Mercedes next to Regina's?

"Uhm yes. And you'd be?" I question back raising my chin trying to gather some strength.

"I'm Baron Samdi." He said, and opened the door wider. "Baron, to beautiful ladies." He added while we shook hands. 

"Oh good, you're here." Regina said, walking by me while she put an earring into her ear in front of the mirror of the hall. "Sorry I made you wait dear." She said, looking up at Baron with an apologetic smile.

"I was early." He smiled down at the brunette dressed in a crazy tight red dress that showed off all her curves. I could feel anger build up in my whole body. She's going on a date. Is she taking revenge for the park scene with Lily? Or is she just trying to prove we have no future? 

"So, are you guys going on a date or what?" The words escaped my lips and I almost shook my head not believing I actually said that and how pathetic my voice sounded at the same time.

"Yes, we are indeed." Baron answered with a toothy smile and I watched Regina as she bit her lips, while searching in her purse. "I'll wait you outside Regina. It was nice meeting you Miss Swan." He added and he disappeared behind the door. I couldn't wish stronger for him to stay there forever. Out of these doors. Out of Regina's life.

"I didn't know you were seeing someone." I said coldly, crossing my arms. 

"It's new." She said, and put on a red lipstick that matched her dress perfectly.

"Sure it is." I laugh drily. "You could have done better than this if it's all about getting me jealous." I add with faked confidence.

"Thankfully no one asked for your opinion." She groaned. 

"So you're not saying it's not about getting me jealous." I state with a smirk.

"Oh dear. You're so wrong if you think this has anything to do with you." She laughed carelessly.

"This wasn't about the babysitter. It was about showing off your perfect little boyfriend." I state, and I can hear footsteps on the stairs.

"Emma!" Henry yells when he's halfway down. 

"Hey kid." I smile and pick him up.

"Henry! I'm leaving, I'll be back around 9, but I want you in bed by 8:30. Understood?" She asked from her son and Henry just nods.

"Good." Regina said with a smile, and gave a kiss on the top of his head, while he kept his arms around my neck. 

"Mom?" He asked before she opened the door and Regina turned back to face her son. "Will you get together with that guy?" He inquired.

"I don't know what the future holds Henry." She answered.

"Do you like him a lot?" He asked.

"Henry this is our first date. I can't know just yet. But why are you asking these questions?" She asks, frowning at Henry.

"I just...don't like him." He admits.

"He's a very good man Henry. You can't say you don't like someone if you don't even know them yet." She talked in a warning tone that Henry understood the best and he nod while holding into my neck stronger.

"Be good and don't play too much video games!" She warned, and turned to leave.  I put Henry down and close the door behind her.

Henry sighed and I could feel my breath is getting heavier with each and every breath I take. She's out, with that guy. I stared at the door fighting the urge to cry in front of Henry.

"You ok?" Henry asked looking up at me sweetly with his adorable wondering eyes.

I sniffed and nod.

"I'm fine. It's just been a long day." I lie.

Henry takes my hand, and smiles kindly.

"So what are we going to do?" He questions excitedly. "You can rest if you want to, I can play in my room. That's what usually Jess and I do. We study together then she tells me she's tired and I should go and play." He gabbled.

"Oh boy. I'm much better than that." I laugh. His innocence always brought smile to my face.

"I know. You're cool." He smiles widely.

"Oh, am I?" I smile back and let him to lead me to the living room. 

"So... we can play soccer in the garden, but Mommy doesn't like it because sometimes I ruin her flowers... or we can play PS4 here. If you want to, I can show you my room and play there."

"You're the sweetest boy ever." I smile. "We can do whatever you want to really. I'm not one of those basic adults." I wink.

"I know Em." He agrees with a serious glance.

"So what are we doing?" 

"Hm." He thinks hard, leaning on the sofa. "Can we build a fort?" He asks while his face lit up buy the idea.

"A fort?" I question back.

"Yes, in the living room. Mommy and I used to do play that a lot. We built a fort and we played PS4 then we read stories and slept there." He explained. 

"Your mother played PS4 with you?" I question in disbelief.

"Yeah she used to be much better than me she just let me win. But she haven't played in a long time." He explained.

"Oh well, if that's what you want to do, bring the blankets we are building a fort!" I smiled and he ran off to the house to collect blankets for us. 

I walked to the kitchen and placed my hands on the cold surface of the counter as I took three deep breaths. She's only doing this to hurt you Swan. She has no interest in that douchebag. Her son doesn't like him, she'd never be with someone who Henry doesn't like.  
No matter how hard I tried to talk some sense into me, in this few minutes I had without Henry, I couldn't keep a tear from escaping my eyes.

"Emma?" I heard a weak voice behind me and I turned around while I wiped my face.

"Are you crying?" He asked.

"I never cry, Henry." I chuckled but my voice sounded wet and weak.

He dropped the pillows on the floor he was holding and walked to me. He wrapped his arms around me, and buried his face to my stomach.

"It's okay to be sad sometimes. You can tell me if you're hurt." He said softly with the wisdom of an adult.

"Thank you Henry." I whisper and I can't hold my tears longer.

He didn't let me go, just kept hugging me. I caressed his head with one head but I covered my face with another.

"I have a good idea." He said, after I calmed a bit. 

"You do?" I ask and chuckle. "You always do."

"Yes, let's make popcorn, build that fort and play. That will keep your mind busy." He said.

"How are you so smart at such a young age?" I questioned with a laugh.

"When mom is sad because of dad, she usually works extra hard to keep her mind off him. At least that's what Jess says." 

"Is your mom often sad because of your dad still?" I ask back.

"I think she's sad because she's lonely." He answered.

"You're so young to know these things." I laugh.

"Jess explains a lot of things to me when we study together. She's studying psy..." He clearly can't remember the word.

"Psychology." I help him out.

"Yeah. That. So Jess is smart about these things so when I heard Mommy cry a few weeks ago, I asked her what she thinks. She said she thinks Mommy is lonely. So I told her I think she should go on a date. She got upset and yelled at me for not minding my own business but later she apologized, and said she would go and try. So now she went out with that guy and I really don't like him... he's just not the right guy for Mommy." He explained, then walked to grab the pillows.

"You think so?" I ask. 

"Yeah. He's arr... uhm... arrogant." He explained pointing the world when he finally remembered.

"How do you even know that..." is about the ask but then realize he's around adults most of the time. "Jess." We say in union. 

"Do you think there's any chance your Mom could be happy with another woman?" I ask him, and he raises an eyebrow then falls awfully quiet. I bite my lips, and wait.

"Mommy said it's okay for girls to like girls too." He said and nod at the end. "Help me!" He commands and gives two blankets to me. 

"Okay what about we put every breakable things away first?" I ask him and he nods in agreement.

It took us about 15 minutes to finish our fort and it ended up quite big so I could easily fit as well. We laid on our stomach and started to play some video game that Henry was crazy about. I couldn't really pay attention, so I just followed his lead and watched him win. 

"What about we get you in PJ's and I read something to you." I offer. 

Henry  nod and ran off to change, and I took my time with getting comfortable under the fort.

Soon Henry arrives in adorable little soccer ball patterned PJ and sits close to me. 

"Which one would you like?" I ask, and he points on one book I've never heard about, but I take it to my hands and open it. 

Henry shifts beside me, and presuming he's not comfortable, I wrap my arm around him, bringing  him close to me, so he could lean on my chest. I keep an arm around his stomach and my head on his while I read the book. He listens carefully, and laughs at some parts but mainly he's quiet.

"Emma?" He interrupts me once. "Will you tell me why were you sad before?" He asks innocently, looking up at me.

"Someone who I really really like, hurt my feelings." I answered softly.

"Did they want to hurt you?" He frowned.

"Yes Henry I'm afraid it was intentional. Or at least... They knew it would hurt me, even if it wasn't their direct intention." I explain.

"Then they don't deserve you." He said softly and hugged me. I hmm in response, and get back to the book. 

Maybe they don't. 

Henry fell asleep next to me halfway through the book, and I wrapped him into a blanket and layed him down, then wiggled my way out of the fort carefully not to ruin it, and walked to the kitchen. 

I'm not sure what is this date about exactly but her point is clearly to push me away. This time she might just pushed me a little too far.

I saw the light turn on outside from the kitchen window and I looked to see what's happening. 

Baron is talking, walking up the stairs with Regina, then she lets go of his arm and reach for her keys. 

Baron stops her, and turns her around to face him, then grabs her waist and forcefully pulls her into a kiss. I can see Regina's not resisting so I force myself to look away, and I open the fridge and pour some cold water into a glass, then walk back to the living room.

Regina opens the door and closes it, then she leans against it taking two deep breath before she realizes I'm watching her.

"How was your date?" I ask casually keeping my voice down.

She didn't bother to answer she just rolled her eyes, and took of her shoes. 

She walked into the living room acknowledging the huge mess we created with Henry.

"You built a fort?" She asked and I couldn't decide if she's upset or happy.

"Henry wanted to build a fort so we built a fort. He's sleeping inside." I added. " I figured you wouldn't mind since he claimed you did this often with him" 

"Yeah it's... alright I just thought it was... our thing." She said.

"Oh.."

"No. I don't mind. I'm just, surprised." She said. 

"Anyways, it's getting late, I should go home and you enjoy your fort with Henry." I said, and turned to grab my stuff. I wanted her to stop me and I wanted her to make me stay but she just watched as I put on my jacket, and turn to leave.

I place my hand on the door knob, and took a big breath before I turned back. She won't ever to take the first step so I have to do it. 

"Regina I wanted to explain... About Lily." I start.

"Emma that's unnecessary." She states coldly. "You and me could never work. Not the way you want us to. I don't care about the relationship you have with Lily. It wouldn't change a thing" She said.

"Oh and you and that arrogant dick will." I groan. "Look Regina. Today I came here hoping I can tell you I will wait for you. As long as it takes cause no one knows it better then me how is it to lose someone. I know it takes time until you let people close to you again. I just wanted you to know. I still want us." 

"There's no us!" Regina hissed and her tone scared the shit out of me. "Get this through your thick head Miss Swan! I won't ever love you. I had fun a few times with you. That's all. We agreed on not taking this far but it is already out of my hands." She whispered not to wake Henry but anger was easy to hear through her voice. "I mean every word. I didn't go on that date because I was jealous. I went because I wanted to. You see there's a thing. I didn't want you to get attached and you did. And I don't need a complete mess like you in my life." She groaned and I could feel all my muscles tighten. "I don't want you. Baron is a decent man who can provide us much more than you ever could. Find someone else." She said coldly. 

I stood in silence. Why didn't I see how wrong I was about her? I don't even know if I know her anymore. Her words burned my heart and souls and I could feel tears burning my eyes as she spoke.

"I wanted to believe it was all about fear of losing me." I stated coldly. "But now I see how much of a fool I was. I let myself ignore the signs just to feel better about being a... whore...  I hope... that one day, you realize what you've lost, cause yeah I might be a mess. But I loved you." I turned my back on the shocked woman, and placed my hand on the doorknob once again. "Please kiss Henry goodbye and tell him I love him." I said over my shoulder, and her door was close behind me in a blink of an eye.

~~~

Follow me on twitter (@rainemese) for updates about the story!


	22. Chapter 22

My tears were streaming down my face as I entered my apartment. The lights were on, and August lazily layed on the couch eating pizza from the carton and watching some show on TV. I turned away but he must have caught a sight of my face cause he dropped the carton on the cafe table, and walked to me. 

"Oh Ems." He whispered when I lifted my eyes to look at him, and a few tears left my already wet eyelashes. He sighed, and wrapped his strong arms around me bringing my head to his chest. He gave a soft kiss on top of my head and held me close. He was warm and I was freezing cold but somehow it didn't matter now. It didn't make me feel better.  I actually felt like this is making it worse. 

I attempt to clear my throat as I wipe my tears away, and he lets me go, but keeps a hand on my back guiding me towards the couch. 

I laugh drily when he attempts to give me a slice of pizza, but I just shake my head and he shrugs biting into the slice. Then he goes to the fridge and opens up a bottle of red wine. 

"You now, it's time to drink about it." He offered a glass and I took it with a forced half smile.

"I'll need stronger then this." I say, as I bring my knees to my chest and look at my friend. 

"We will get to it. Now spill." He orders and I take a deep breath. I hope he will take this okay cause I won't survive one more heartbreak today.

"I... August can you promise me you won't be angry?" I ask and he frowns but nods.

"You know I have your back Em, why would I be angry?" He questions.

"Remember the woman I talked about?" I ask, and he nods flashing a concerned glance towards me. 

"She's... Regina." I say without air in my lungs, waiting for the reaction that never really came. His eyes widened a bit but he didn't say a world so nervousness took over me. "Not like it matters anymore. She let me know we won't ever... happen. I told her I loved her... I'm sure she already known that. She kept playing this game with me and now I'm a complete mess." I gabble, when he's not reacting at all. 

"Wait." He snapped. "Regina as Regina Mills, my late best friend's widow Regina Mills?" He asks, and I nod, closing my eyes knowing from his tone he's upset. 

"You were fucking her." He stated impatiently. 

"From my part it was never just fucking August why do you think I'm crying like a teenage girl?" I question. 

"Get out." He barked. 

"Wha..?" I question, losing all the air from my lungs once again.

"Get out of my fucking apartment." He said, and stood up. 

"August..." My mouth hang open and I could feel blood pump in my throat. 

"Emma, get out of here." He said now calmly, and he stood up. 

I walked to my room and grabbed my sport bag to pack some clothes without any other word addressed to my friend. 

I left the apartment five minutes later with a few clothes in my bag and I headed to the bar. It's late and tomorrow I'm starting early but it doesn't matter a tiny bit I'm tired and wrecked but it won't make a difference cause it's over. Regina and I are over. 

I entered the bar that rather was empty tonight, there were only some regulars sitting at the tables and the young bartender was wiping the counter. He smirked when he looked up at me and nod his head hi. 

I dropped my beg on the floor next to the bar chair I sat on, and ordered a whiskey. A few hours went by like that. I ordered, drank, and stared in front of me like a ghost.

"Swan we are closing." The bartender let me know.

"One more." I say, smashing my glass to the counter and he nods with a half smile.

"This one's on the house." He says, while refilling my glass with whiskey. "Heroes deserve it time to time." He smiled softly and pushes my glass towards me.

"Yeah. Heroes." I chuckle and take it way quicker then I suppose.

"What's bothering you?" He asks, leaning on the counter, pushing his elbows to touch mine.

"Don't give me the weird bartender shrink shit." I warn and throw my drink down my throat.

"I'm not giving ani shrink shit Swan, I'm just here if you need a friend." He smiles.

"I'm a loner today." I say coldly. "See ya."

I didn't really know where to go now. I ended up deciding to take uber and spend the night at Elsa's. I hope she won't ask any questions just let me sleep it off. 15 minutes later we parked in front of her house. I peeked through her window. The light was on in the living room, but it was empty. I was about the get out of the car when she walked in the room with Graham. I watched as they sat on the couch then Graham wrapped an arm around Elsa's shoulder and they started to watch TV. 

When did this happen?

"Lady?" I heard my driver. "Are you getting out or what?" He asked. 

"Uhm. Actually, I will go somewhere else." I answer and he stares at me like I was crazy. 

"Fine, where to?" He asks back annoyedly. 

"Fire House 49 please." I say blinded by the amount of alcohol I took in. 

I tossed around in the uncomfortable bed and I could hear every little noise around me. The night shifters in the kitchen, the cars outside of the street, the running water in the bathroom... The small buzzing sound of the lights in the room.

I woke up a few hours later for someone walking by my bed, dropping something on the floor. 

"Oh geez Em! What the hell are you doing here so early?" I recognized Ruby's voice and tried my best to not throw up in the exact minute I opened my eyes.

 

"What?" I question tiredly.

"Did you sleep in?" She asks, while collecting her keys from the floor.

"Sleep? Not really." I answer and stare at the brunette. 

"You should wash yourself you smell like whiskey." She informed me judgingly.

"Yeah whatever Rubes." I say and fall back to my pillow.

I managed to get myself together for the shift that started an hour later. Ruby made me breakfast and Elsa fired me with endless mothery questions.

"Elsa seriously I'm fine. I was out last night. Got drunk, came back here to sleep. End of the story." I explained for the last time.

"You never go out when you have morning shift. It's like your number one rule." Elsa groaned slamming the fridge's door.

"Guess I do now." I shrug annoyedly and get up to leave the confused blonde alone.

"Don't make a habit of it. You're a mess." She yells after me when I enter the hallway.

"Yes mother." I yell back at her from my way to the garage. "You're not the first god damn person who calls me that in the past two days." I add to myself, but I bump into August at the entrance to the garage. 

"Emma." He breathes out, then flashes worry filled eyes.

"August." I nod, stepping out of his way ignoring his concerned look. 

"What's up with you too?" Ruby questions who just climbed out of the truck. "Had a fight? Told you it won't be good to move in with him." She laughed. 

"Yeah whatever." I shrug and walk past her too. 

I don't need them around right now. Not Elsa's mothering tone, not August's judging bitter face and not Ruby's annoying comments. 

I sit in the car and grab my phone to text Lilly. 

Can I crush at yours for a few nights?- I sent the text message and impatiently tapped on the back of my phone until I heard it bing. 

Romeo and Juliet it is.- I read her message. She was always good at putting the pieces together so I'm not surprised she already presumed it's about Regina. 

I smiled at the small message knowing she won't ever step away from me. She is a true friend and the love that we hold for eachother still after those years apart proves it.

We were out on calls all day and I couldn't decide I'm feeling sick because of the lack of sleep or because of the smell of blood. But I was thankful I at least didn't have to face Regina at the hospital. 

"You won't talk will ya?" Elsa asked annoyedly after I slammed the rig's door for the 6th time today. 

"Why? You do?" I ask with a sarcastic tone.

"What do you mean?" She asked frowning immediately. 

"I wanted to go to yours last night after Regina told me she want me out of her life and August kicked me out but you were having a movie night with your boyfriend." I explain. "I'm happy for you by the way. I just wish you've had mentioned." I shrug.

"Oh. Graham's not... he's not.. we are not together Emma." She shook her head. "Whatever that's so not important right now. Are you okay?" She asked innocently, placing her hand on my upper arm. 

"Oh sure. I told Regina I'd wait for her and that I loved her. I actually said it. Then she told me I can't provide her and Henry as much as her brand new boyfriend could. She also told me I'm a mess and she doesn't need me in her life. Then, I walked up to my apartment crying like a baby and the man I call my best friend kicks me out for loving someone he cares about. I mean why is it a crime to love someone?  Why am I the sinner in this scenario while my heart got broken by that woman. Then I ended up sleeping two hours on the shittiest mattress in the universe and being  questioned for my actions all day by you, Elsa. Yeah I'm just fine." I answer sarcastically. 

"Sorry. I'm an idiot." She whispered under her breath.  I looked over at my friend who definitely just wanted to help and I felt guilty immediately. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be an asshole. It's just. I feel like crap and I just need a break from everyone now." I say and she lifts her gaze from the floor before she nods her head slowly. 

"Just know that you can always come to me." She assures. 

"I know Els, I love you." I smile softly. 

"You can sleep at mine until that asshole gets his head out of his butt." She added. 

"I already asked Lily if I can stay with her she said yes." I smile.

"You know her from the system right?" She asks while walking next to me to the changing room. 

"Yep, she's like a sister." I explain.

"Well hope you're not trading me for her." She raises an eyebrow playfully. 

"Ehh. People actually believe that you and I are sisters. She has dark hair and brown eyes. There's no way I can possibly replace you by her." I tease. 

"If that's your only reason, you're in deep trouble." She pokes my side. 

"Hey Els?" I ask before entering the changing room. 

"Yeah?" She smiles brightly. 

"You'll have to tell me about the Graham situation." I say with a half smile. 

"I will, I will. When I figure out what the hell is going on." She chuckled but her smile faded. 

"Just don't get your heart broken. I'm telling you. It's not nice. Plus I don't want to kill the hero of Fire House 49 so he better do things right." I warn and she nods in agreement. 

"He better fucking does." She laughed with me while starting to change. 

"I like you when you curse." I chuckle and open the door for her. 

"Can I at least drop you off at Lily's?" She questioned when we were done with changing. 

August appeared from the other side of the lockers and he eyed me for a minute then took a deep breath and left. 

"Ignore him." Elsa suggested. 

"Can we stop at the liquor store?" I groan. 

"Absolutely not." She answered way too quickly to even consider it. 

"Right. Lily has some at home anyways." I chuckle to earn an eye roll from Elsa. 

"Ems, at least take care of yourself." She added seriously this time. 

"Always." I smile softly, and push her towards the door while grabbing my sporbag. 

Lily picked Lori up from school an hour before my shift ended and when I arrived at their house I found them running around in the kitchen.

"Hi girls." I greet them and Lori gives me a quick hug before she returns helping her mother. 

"Wow you look like crap." Lily's eyes winded when she glanced at me before pushing something into the oven. 

"Had a long night." I explained but got cut off by Lori. 

"Mommy said a bad world." Lori warned her mother and shook her head. 

"Oh yes Mommy, how dare you?" I raised an eyebrow and received a mischief smile from my friend. 

"Shut it Swan." She groaned at the same time playfully. "Lucky you, you've got two angels."

"I do?" I smile and Lori nods eagerly. 

"We are making muffins, and Mommy bought three boxes of ice cream. But we can eat only after dinner." She explains excitedly.

I raise an eyebrow at my friend. 

Pizza-she mutters. 

"Explains the excitement." I laugh and she nods before returning to her task. 

"We will have a fine night Emma. Then we will figure out how to take care of this situation of yours."She assures. 

"Oh Regina made sure there's nothing left to take care of." I shrug sadly.

 

"You'll tell me everything after Lori's in bed okay?" She asked and I nod with a sigh.

"Now get your lazy ass over here and help us clean up." She ordered and Lori giggeled. 

"Yeah Emma we did all the work. It's your turn." She sassad sweetly. 

"Bossy. Just like her mother." I note with a chuckle and start to pack away the ingredients they left out. 

An extremely long kid style movie marathon, pizza and a box of ice cream later I sat on the couch my legs in Lilly's lap drinking my rose. Lilly sighs, then smiles at me softly. 

"So where from now? Your roommate kicked you out for banging his best friend's wife. Will you be able to rent an apartment by yourself?" She asked quite directly. 

"Uhm. First of all, LATE best friend, and yes I'm able to rent something. I'm just not sure I wanna stay." I explain and thought immediately start to flash through my mind. Maybe I shouldn't stay. Maybe a little change would do good for me. 

"What do you mean? Where would you go?" She asks, raising an eyebrow. 

"No idea. Away? Maybe I just get in my car and travel through the states. Go and see Europe.  Or go and volunteer somewhere. Like in Africa or something. Teaching, helping out in hospitals, all that. Not like anything holds me back. No roots, no responsibilities... I'm free. Perks of being an orphan."

"So you would run." She states. 

"What?"

"You would run from facing Regina and August. You would run to an other continent to play nice. Just to be away from them."

"That's a very negative way to put it." I say annoyedly. 

"Well it's the truth. You wanna get away? Do it. But don't go anywhere because of that bitch or because of your so called 'friend'."

"Regina is not a bitch." I whisper under my breath, and close my eyes cursing myself for even protecting her. 

"Emma..." Lilly draws my attention back to her face. "They don't deserve you."

I sour chuckle left my lips as I think back... 

"Henry said that too."

"He's a smart kid." Lilly smiles softly. 

I humm, and sigh trying to clear my mind and get it off the Regina topic. I can't deal with it now. Maybe a few days later it will all come back on me but right now I can't think about her or even August. Sometimes it's just much easier to close my eyes or turn away then face the cold truth. 

"So what's the plan?" Lilly asks raising an eyebrow. 

"Running. Cause I'm a damn good runner."


	23. Chapter 23

Regina's POV

"It's been a while since we did this." My sister smiles at me while I turn my car towards Henry's school. 

"Yeah. We haven't been hanging out lately since you got a real job." I mock, and she flashes her sparkly blue eyes at me, before an evil smirk spread on her face. 

"We haven't been hanging out since you have a grilfriend." She mocked back and my smile turned into a frown immedietly.

"I don't have a girlfriend." I respond with what I hope is cold enough voice. I try to concentrate on the road and try to hold back all the emotions that are trying to break my heart once again. I haven't felt so overwhelmed since the day she said she loved me. I kept ignoring the thought of hurting her, and the rotten feeling of losing her. I stubbornly avoided every situation that could make our paths cross because I'm certain that there's no energy and will in me to resist my feelings any longer. 

"Oh come on Reggie, we all know that misterious blondie isn't just a friend." My oblivious sister continued and another wave of emotions hit me. I grabbed the wheel harder and clenched my jaw as I tried to hold my tears back. That misterious blonde. That beautiful, caring, amazing woman I just let slip thorugh my walls then crashed her like she was nothing to me. I ruined this, I ruined her in a way. Something that made me happy, that was never perfect, but it was the closest thing to perfection I have ever known. 

I stopped my car in front of the school, Zelena's words hitting my deaf mind. My eyes are focused on the school gates and few moments passed until I saw my massy haired son walk out of the gates alongside his little new friend, Lori. Zelena and I exited the car and walked towards them, then I saw Lilly hugging them both before turning to her daughter. They all exchanged a few words that somehow managed not to reach my consciousness and before I could realize Zelena was next to Lilly, shaking hands with her. Lilly seemed fine, not even a tiny bit bothered, then Zelena turned back and waved to me to come closer since I apparently faltered in my step. I hesitated as my eyes met Lillys. I knew she knows about us. I knew Emma have told her what happened. I expected to see anger and coldness in her eyes, but her eyes held staidness instead of anger, which prompted me to slowly walk up to them. 

"Hello Mommy." my son greeted me happily, smile on his face. 

"Hello." I said only, not daring to speak more in fear of Henry realizing that something is wrong. Or to give Lily reasons to say something, even though I am sure she wouldn't in front of the kids. 

"So you're the little girl that my nephew is going into raptures over all day." Zelena smirked at Lori, who just blushed and smiled at Henry. 

"Regina, the kids expressed their wish to go to the park then to my house for the afternoon. It's friday and I'm home anyways so it's fine by me, if it is by you." She said but she barely looked into my eyes this time, choosing to focus on the kids. I looked at the kids who were both looking at me with the cutest puppy eyes on the planet. This was a possible save for me as well, I need to collect myself.

"Sure."-I breathed out.-"Uhm... Is Emma at yours as well?" I asked without thinking, cursing myself as soon as the question left my lips. 

"She was staying with us for a couple of days, but she left last night." Lily answered like a robot. She is probably masking her emotions in front of the kids, which I completely understand. 

"She quit her job at the Firehouse, and left." Lori added quietly, her voice full of sadness. He wanted to continue but when she recived a cutting glance from her mother, she immediately stopped herself. 

"Lori..."She shusshed her before she could say more. 

"Where did she go?" My sister asked confused, not understanding how I don't know about Emma's whereabout.

"She's on an aid organization in Colombia." Lilly said. My heart stopped for a moment as something sharp pierced through my chest. I felt like I will faint right then and there.

"Colombia?" I barely breathed out. 

"Yes. She is helping out in camps cause there are whole villages stuck at storm zones." She explained shortly. 

I felt like the ball in my throat doubled up. I could feel my body shake while I was trying to stand straight. I wanted to scream at Lily, at the idiotic blonde but most of all I wanted to scream at myself. Colombia? She really did have to endanger her own life for strangers? What is she thinking? She was the one who said once that we can't save everyone. Now what is her plan? Hurting me just cause I hurted her? 

"You seem a little pale Mommy." Henry noticed, and grabbed my hand. 

"I'm alright sweetie. You can go with Lori, I expect you to be on your best behavior. I'll pick you up at 7 pm." I said and Lilly offered me a weak smile before settling the kids in the back of her car. 

"Regina can I have a word please?" She asked before I could turn to walk back to my car. Zelena froze next to me, but she soon realised she's unwanted in this situation and waved goodye to the kids before returning to our car. 

"Look, I don't know your side of the story, and I didn't want to mention anything in front of the kids, cause adult problems shouldn't be their concern. And God I wished I could punch you in the face when I saw you again." She groaned "But obviously, that is not a mature thing to do, especially because I can't avoid running into you here while you will probably parade your new boyfriend. Also because you're not hiding your emotions that good as you think you do. So I suggest you to talk to Emma when she returns." She said, leaving me breathless for a moment before my pride started to roar inside me, making me opened my mouth to speak up for myself. Lily just held up a hand and continued. "Please don't even bother, I'm not interested in your Ice Queen play. I'm not blind and I can see how much this is torturing you as well. Look, you hurt my friend, probably more then anyone ever did before. But she is not the person who won't forgive. Emma has a strong personality, but she goes soft when she loves someone. So if you feel any regret about that night, I'm telling you you should talk to Emma. And I'm really tring to understand you Regina. Truly. So if you are done with ignorance, you can call me and we could talk. I'm not saying I can see what she sees in you Regina, but she's not trusting people easily. You turned her world upside down, and I'm almost positive she could forgive you if you put aside your pride finally, and ask for forgiveness." She added. "I'll text you my address so you can pick Henry up. See you." She said, and turned back to her car. I was left speachless and angry. But not because of her words. Her words echoed with truth. I'm angry because I can't stop myself from believeing her words. Cause I can't stop thinking I should actually talk to Emma. I made up my mind once, why can't I do that once again? 

"Wow, I've never seen anyone speak up against you like that before." My sister said with smirk as I got in my car. 

"What?" I asked when I finally found my voice.

"She didn't let you talk did she?" She smirked. 

"Yeah.. yeah." I breathed out, and turned on the car on autopilot. 

"Regina what is going on? Why were you so weird about Emma, and how the hell you didn't know she's away?" Zelenas angry voice pierced through my ears. 

"I told you, she's not my girldfriend. Not even close." I said, sadness evident in my voice and I gave up on masking it. 

"You kicked her out. Her friend is mad at you because of it." Zelena analysed the situation. 

"She's not mad Z." I barely responded deciding it's time to leave this damn school.

"Regina stop the car." She commanded me before I could pull out from the parking lot. I looked at her, and her eyes were not accepting no this time. 

"Tell me what's going on. Talk to me please." She asked softly this time. 

"Zelena I really really just wanted to spend a nice afternoon with you but this is not happening if we are keep going on this topic. Emma and I weren't ever together, I rejected her she ran away to south America. What else matters here? Nothing. You know the facts." I rambled out quickly."I don't think I can talk about this right now." I breathe out trying to fight a panick attack that's starting to weigh in on my chest. 

"Well you must. Cause we are not going anywhere before you explain what is going in your head." She says, and takes the keys out of ignition port. 

"Zel..." 

"Please Reggie, it will help you, I promise." Zelena pleaded me I close my eyes and take a big breath before starting to explain. 

"Emma... Came to my life like a hurricane. I always found her adorable, but I also knew she's not someone you can mess with. It was attractive... I think... I was always attracted to her. She worked in the hospital and we barely interacted for the first year, I didn't even know her name for a long time, but we always found a way to tease eachother even if we only made sharp comments on eachother. She respected me, but she never feared me, which was new and exciting. Then she left the hospital and a little time after I found out she is working as a paramedic at the Fire House. Robin's Fire House. I didn't want to get close to her, but our ways crossed more and more times, and no matter how many times I rejected her, she came back to me. Then we started just messing around. I didn't think I'd grow attached to her. I didn't think I'd develop feelings. It was all new and scary but addictive as well. I wanted to get to know her better, and spend time with her anytime I could. She grew close to Henry as well, and as perfect it sounds, I didn't want it. I don't want it."

"But you want her." She argues, trying to understand "You grew attached, you grew to love her didn't you?"

"Yes, and no. My heart... is breaking. But my brain is keep saying no. Even if it's getting harder and harder anytime I have to choose."

"Remember what father used to say?" Zelena asked, and I shook my head. "Follow your heart, but take your brain with you." She said, I stared at her confusedly. "Do you know what are you doing here?" I shrugged, then shook my head. "You are following your brain while stepping on your own heart, sister." She said.

"So what shoud I do? Go after her? Tell her how I feel? She won't ever forgive me even if Lilly think she would." I heardly breath anymore I'm just fighting my tears.

"She thinks she would?" asks Zelena with hope in her voice

"She said I should talk to her when she returns." I nod. 

"Will you?" She asked. "No way. I'm not.. I'm not.." I mutter out, trying to form a proper sentence.

"What can you lose? Your pride?" She asks, bowing her head to meet my eyes that are looking down to my lap.

"I... don't care about my pride." I state.

"So you fear the rejection. How many times did you reject her and how many times she came back to you?" She asked.

"That is diffrent Zelena."

"Is it?"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Lets go home." I say determined to stop this helpless feeling that is running through my body.

"I'll go back to office now. You need to think. I suggest you call dad." She offered a weak smile before giving a kiss on my cheek then wiping my tears off and getting out of the car.

I started to car a little after my breathing got back to normal. I wanted to listen to her. I just couldn't make my mind understand that I will be unhappy without Emma. When I got home I decided I need to relax and clear out my mind, which led me to sit on couch with a bottle of red wine and book in my lap. I read two pharagraphs while I drank half of the bottle. I could not concentrate on the words, or make my brain focus on the words before me. Soon I put the book aside, and my hands were playing with my phone in my lap. I took two sharp breaths before I dialed my parent's house. "Hallo?" I heard a deep voice on the other side. 

"Hey Dad, it's me Regina." I sniffed, tears started to run the moment I heard his voice. 

"Hey Sweetheart. What is wrong, mi hija? Zelena mentioned you might call us today." My fathers voice full of concern. "Is it Regina?" I heared my mother yell probably from the kitchen. "Tell her I need to talk to her if she has a little time." 

"You heared that Bug?" He asked. 

"Yeah, dad. Tell her I'm sending kisses." I breath out sharply.

"What is bothering you Sweetheart? Are you alone? I thought you were having a family day with Zelena and Henry." He asked.

"Oh yeah, Henry's at a friend's and Zelena is at the office." I explain without really explaining anything.

"Talk to me Bug." He says softly.

"I'm not following my heart Dad." I say, but I barely manage to say the last word before a sob leaves my mouth.

"Oh Sweetheart." He mumbles. "I can't blame you. You went through a lot, but you shouldn't be scared of happiness, love."

"Dad, I don't even know if she would take me back." I stated, making my heart break a bit more.

"Sometimes we just have to trust that there's a way back to eachother Bug." he responded 

"What if there isn't?" I ask. 

"Then you're heart will need a lot of time to heal. Otherwise... do you want to live with the thought that you haven't even tried?" He asked.

"I'm not sure I know what I want." I stated.

"But you do Regina. You do. You just have to listen to your heart." He said. Nothing sounds more simple than this advice, but it's so hard to follow it.

"I think dinner is ready Love, I won't keep your Mother waiting , but I'll call you tomorrow okay? Just think about what I said, I know you can make the right decision, whatever you choose for yourself." He finished knowing that it's up to regina and her stubborn head to make sense of the things.

"I love you dad. Thank you." I breath out before my tears start to fall like never before.

"I love you too Regina. Try to take care of that heart of yours for a change." He said softly before hanging up. 

I have to make up my mind before this completaly ruins me I tell myself. I get up, deciding on one more glass and make my way towards the table. That no good, selfless, idiot is out there risking her life for strangers, in conditions she is probably not trained for. What was she thinking? Doesn't she know that my heart breaks thinking about something happening to her? In a second after that thought went through my mind, I start to lose my footing, glass shatters around my feet as the glass slips my grasp. I grab the edges of the table with both hands as I gasp for air. My heart is breaking- it's as if my brain understood for the first time ever. My heart breaks and panic sends me to the knees, my legs not being able to hold the burden anymore. My heart breaks when I think about living without her, in some pretend relationship with a man because it'd be easier, without danger of mixing it with my emotions. My heart breaks even though it shouldn't because I pushed her out of my life. My heart breaks because I finally understand- she doesn't know. She could die and she would not know how much I care, how much I do want her, how much I love her. I reach for my phone and press fast dial to reach Zelena, as I try to breathe, but everything hurts and there's no air. My last clear image before losing consciousness is the blonde who hunted my mind for what it seems forever.


	24. Chapter 24

Regina's POV 

"For God's sake Regina wake up!" I heard my sister's voice scream harshly into the silence of my house. Her voice echoed, but I couldn't get myself to open my eyes. I was exhausted, and I felt numb and weak. 

"Regina please." She whispered, and I felt warm palms on my cheeks, then two fingers impatiently moving, trying to feel the vein on my neck. I force to open my eyes slowly, and a sharp exhale of relief leaves my sister mouth. 

"Here I thought you were the smart one. You scared me, you goober." She whispered, and pulled me into the tightest hug I ever received from her. 

"How are you? Are you alright? Should I call an ambulance?" She asked and I shook my head still trying to make myself see clearly. "I'll put you into bed then. Did you cut yourself?" She asked but I felt like I'm drowning between the line of being conscious and unconscious, so I didn't answer, just blinked slowly. I couldn't be sure anyway. I felt pain everywhere in my body. 

She quickly examined me, just as I taught her to search for life threatening injuries, and helped me up from the floor. Grabbing me under my left arm and putting most of my weight on her, she walked me to the couch. 

"Oh you did cut your hand." She noticed, and slowly took my hand to examine it. I looked at it as well and my partly conscious brain concluded that the cut didn't need the stitches. 

"Not too deep, doctor, but I'll clean it out just in case." She smiled softly at me with warmth I felt I didn't deserve. 

Her love towards me always amused me. We weren't always on good terms, like every other pair of sister, but we always were there for each other and I couldn't be more grateful for that. Her support pushed me through a lot of shitty situations and her honesty made me pull out my head out of my ass on occasion as well. 

"Do you need anything?" Came another worried question I couldn't answer while she was searching for some antiseptics in my drawer. Yeah, I do need something, someone, someone I know I don't deserve. I fucked it all up, again. "I'll bring you a glass of water." She said concluding that my head is a mess right now and disappeared into the kitchen. 

I can't really recall when did she make me drink half of the glass or cleaned out my wound, my mind slipping in and out of the consciousness. When I woke up again she was already cleaning up my mess in the dining room, and my hand was wrapped into a tight gauze. It got darker, and colder in my house but I wasn't sure how many hours passed. It's getting late and there's heating to be put on and dinner for Henry to be made... 

Henry! I remembered, and sit up straight on the couch. I got dizzy and my stomach did a flip, but I managed to get up and walk back to the dining room. 

"Regina you should be in bed." My sister frowns, and immediately starts to guide me back to the living room. 

"Henry." I breath out sharply. "What time is it?" I question. 

"It's half past seven. Don't worry, I called Lilly and she's bringing Henry over, she just cooked dinner for them. She expected you to go and pick him up, so maybe you two could talk." She explained everything quickly, and helped me to lay on my back. 

"What happened Reggie? Passing out like that ? It never happened to you before. You always took so good care of your health. Should I take you for a check up?" She looked worried. 

"No..." I answered and closed my eyes. "I'm okay. Just exhausted." I stated, and with that said I closed my heavy eyelids again. 

"You really love her a lot don't you?" She asked, and sat next to me. Our eyes met as I opened them again, but I just looked away and didn't answer. She knows it already anyway. A long sight leaves her lungs, and smiles at me softly. "How do I help you, you fool?" She asked and shook her head. 

"Stop calling me names?" I frowned and and wicked smirk spread on her face. 

"I'm your big sister. You know I can't do that." She said, and took my hand. "Anyways, Henry will be home in a few and while the kids are playing a little more, we can discuss your situation." 

"I don't have a situation." I deny. I must be dumb, somewhere between Anatomy I and V, between my married life and single life I have lost my brain, or at least part of it. How dumb I have to be to choose to be unhappy. "And I don't need help figuring anything out." I just roll this stuff out of my mouth as if I learned to recite them for a show. Her raised eyebrow tells me she doesn't want my bullshit. "I already fucked up enough for her to not even look at me one more time." I whisper under my breath. Admitting defeat. Finally. 

"That is very true. That is why you certainly need help figuring our how to get her back before you manage to kill yourself." She said. 

"Z... I don't know what to do." I shake my head. No one is crazy enough to put up with this bullshit, to let herself be abused so much. 

"Well sister. Lucky you have Lilly and I to help you figure that out." She smiles. "Now rest, I will wake you when they arrived." She says and gives a kiss on my temple before she returns to cleaning. 

"Mommy, mommy!" I heard my boy's excited little voice echoing in the house. I open my eyes slowly and groan as I push the warm blankets off me. "Why are you sleeping?" He stops, and asks from the entrance of the living room. 

"I was just a little tired Henry." I lie, and extend my arms for him to come and hug me. 

"I had so much fun Mommy! Lori got a trampoline last week and we jumped so high! Then we played inside when it got too cold." He smiled and looked at Lori and Lilly who shyly walked in after Henry. 

"I'm so glad you had fun Prince." I said, and kissed the top of his head. Zelena walked in as well and offered a coffee to Lily. The kids quickly disappeared into Henry's room, and we were left alone with Lilly. 

"You okay?" She asked. "It got me a little worried when your sister called me from your phone and told me she found you unconscious." her face showed honest concern. 

"I didn't think you cared." I answered coldly. I swear I wasn't like this before. She doesn't deserve me this cold and rude. 

"Well now you do." She smirked, not budging from my answer. 

"Whatever." I scoffed. 

"So what's your plan?" She asked and sat on the armchair. I roll my eyes at her as she holds the serious glance and doesn't move. "Come on Regina. This is killing you. Physically." She pushes, she is right. 

"It does." I admit, I exhale loudly, slumping back on the back of the couch. 

"What do you have in mind? What do you want?" She asks. 

"Why are you nice to me Lilly?" I ask and my voice broke in the middle of my sentence. 

"Because Emma loves you. I'm her friend. And as much as I despite the way you've treated her, I think the best for both of you is to be together." She explains. 

"She won't forgive me, I said so awful things to her." My voice broke once again and I was barely able to breath anymore. "So awful things." I repeated. My soul is tearing apart as once again hits me just how much I need her. 

"She left because of you." I heard a tiny voice whisper from the bottom of the stairs. "Emma left because of you!" I heard Henry said once again, only louder. His little cheeks were red and tears were already running down his cheeks. "She left because you hurt her! She talked about you! You hurt her!" He yelled this time, charging towards me, his little body shaking with fury.I've never seen my son so upset with me before. "You made her go away. You sent her away!" He continued, looking at me with fresh tears in his eyes. 

Lilly got up and walked to him, and hugged him. He seemed to get more upset because of it, but he let her do it anyway. My heart broke once again. I did this. I ruined this for myself. And now even my son is upset with me. 

"Mommy how could you hurt her so much? She was the nicest person I knew! The kindest!" He cried. 

"Henry." I whispered under my breath. "Please."

"No! You have to go after her! You have to apologize! You can't let her go like that!" He yelled. 

"Henry!" Lilly warned. If I was in my right mind I would be upset with her schooling my son. "Your mother is not feeling too well." 

"I don't care how she.."He started but Zelena cut him off. 

"Henry Mills!" Zelena warned as she rushed back to the living room. 

"But Auntie Zelena!" He cried, stumping his foot on the ground. 

"Henry listen." Lilly whispered. "Adults.... Are difficult. Sometimes they are broken, unsure. Afraid. To tell people how they really feel. Your Mommy went through a lot okay? She's went through so much she was too afraid to tell Emma how she felt." 

"Emma went through a lot too!" He said. I'm not sure how I manage to listen anymore. My son hates me. 

"Henry." I whisper under my breath. 

"Look Honey. Mommy and I was just discussing how she'll try to apologize to Emma. So if you're done with your tantrum you could help us." Lilly poked his side. His eyes went wide. 

"Will you do that? Will you apologize?" He turned to me finally and I nod as I felt warm tears running down my cheeks. I feel like a complete idiot. I am a complete fucking idiot.

"Right. So how will you do that?" Lori asked who sat at the top of the stairs. I looked at her and she smiled at me warmly.

"We will help." Henry said, and a small breath of relief left my lungs.

"I don't know." I answered honestly. How the fuck do I do that?

"Come on kids, it's a mission." Lilly clapped. "Quick, quick, sit on the couch." She said and both of the kids ran to the living room. Zelena sat next to me, and placed her hand on my tight. She knew I needed her support right now, more than ever. Maybe more than when he died.

"I think you should go after her." Henry suggested.

"Henry, I can't do that." I shook my head.

"Why not?" He asked. "Because I have to think about you too Henry." I answered.

"Well think about me and go apologize! I can stay with Auntie Z for a few days!" He said annoyed.

"Henry..." I start but Zelena squeezes a hand on my thigh.

"He's right Reggie. You have to go after her. You have to apologize." She agreed.

"Agreed. And I can help out taking care of Henry as well." Lilly offered.

"My patients..." I start but my sons scoff cuts me off.

"Mom. Stop making excuses. You love her right?" He questions. "I heard you before, I know you do mom." He said.

"I do Henry, I really do love her." I admit.

"Then it's decided." He smiled. "Operation Swanqueen is on." He happily announces. 

"Swanqueen?" I smile.

"She calls you Queen." He shrugs with an adorable charming half smile. She calls me Queen and I again feel like an idiot.

"Operation Swanqueen it is." I agree. 

"I'll get the information until midnight about the organization and I'll contact them. You, pack your bag and whatever you will need there doc." Lilly says, and walks to the kitchen to call someone. 

"We will go play." Henry says, and walks to me. "I'm sorry I yelled at you Ma. You are just silly sometimes." He said and kissed me on the cheek before he ran off with Lori.

"So you're really doing this." Zelena noted with a soft smile.

"I feel like Henry would never forgive me if I wouldn't." I gasp.

"Don't do it for Henry Regina. That would make no sense." She says. I'm not doing it for him, I am doing it for myself; I am just so happy he loves Emma as well.

"Well sister. Taking advice from a six year old don't make sense either. Yet I just sat and I'm taking his advice." I sass. "But I'm doing for myself as well. Don't worry." I smile.

"I'll take care of the little troublemaker don't worry." She smiles, and hugs me.

"Hate to break your cute little sister time, but you've got a plane to catch in three hours." Lilly says.

"Three hours?" I gasp.

"You will have everything planned out in an hour. You better go call the hospital about your trip."She ignores my question. "I will need your laptop and sister for the next hour. You call the hospital and pack your stuff." She commands. 

I get up from the couch, immediately feeling much stronger, and walk towards the stairs. 

"Hey Lily." I call after her while she sets up my laptop.

"Yeah, yeah you're welcome." She nods not even looking at me. I chuckle under my breath as I turn to go upstairs. 

I'm going to get her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear people. A lot of you are asking for updates (especially meant for other pages I share this story on) and I tried to answer as many comments as I could but I'll just leave a little note here so you'd all know what's going on. I'm double majoring at university. I have 32 subjects all in all this semester and had 7 exams in the past 4 days. I'm honestly just exhausted. I promise I am doing my best, I'm not leaving this story unfinished but please try to understand that I can't always update, unfortunately sometimes for weeks. Hope you enjoyed the update!


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